From here and then on...

2008-06-20T02:06:00.003+08:00

Yup, this blog was dead alright.. for god knows how long.. But who cares, I'm having fun like I've never had for quite some time!

I find myself having wierd tastes in music recently.. I've switched back to boy band music, appreciate old school and classical music, and listen to a middle-aged man singing as though he was a woman in her 20s.. Still, no denying that they are all quality music, and enjoyable to my ears.. Mum thinks I've lost it..

Sad that attachment had to end already.. My last day was a slacky one, but one to enjoy.. Promised the peeps that I would come back to visit and hang out, and I have a "contract" with Annie to continue teaching her tennis.. This week has been used for doing up reports and finishing the remaining logbook entries I have for Victor (and slacking too)..

Just last Sunday, I attended Yong Hwa's (my cousin) wedding.. Its been some time since I attended a wedding of someone close.. It was just CNY this year that he brought his (back then) girlfriend to come visit.. In a matter of months, walla! He's really a wonderful guy when he jokes, and takes the impression that he's a maths geek (oops, sorry) off immediately.. Got a few pics with him, especially one with just the both of us.. First time I made such a request to the groom (hope my family didn't think I was drunk).. Anyway, congrats to him! They are a happily wed couple!

Took Ryl out to play batminton on Tuesday because I had some change of plans.. Yup, she enjoyed it, I think.. I thought 1 hour wouldn't have enough fun, but turns out she hit her limit there.. Glad she learnt a little, but she can be vicious when you give chance abit.. I thought for the first half an hour that she was randomly hitting her shots but no..... Didn't know you were so talented kiddo'

Kung Fu panda was really, really funny.. How long has it been since I've seen people take serious, martial arts films with deep history and throw random jokes into it? Think never.. But this one was worth while watching.. Laugh non-stop.. I don't think the Chinese one would be as funny, at least not for me.. I'll be too slow to catch the jokes..

Went out hunting for the same racket strings Irfan got for me (he's not my coach anymore).. Met Annie at Queensway.. Despite the large number of shops at Queensway, I couldn't get exactly what I want! Argh.. Long story: A didn't have 1 but had 2, B had 2 but didn't have 1, and C had both but charged really high and was snobbish.. Had to settle for A, since it was cheap (reasonably) and a price worth experimenting.. Then we met Victor at the Ikea restaurant.. Good news is, he's playing batminton with us.. Bad news, he failed his IPPT.. Heard it was 1 of the stations that he failed.. Haiz.. Poor guy.. But he gave a very funny excuse though.. Was laughing at it non-stop..

Ho boy.. It's Thursday and I haven't finished my final report! I've started, but there's too much to write, and my vocabulary has been pushed to the limit already! (Those who know me know that my vocab is not very powerful) Just so much to write, but I'm too lazy to think.. Wish there was a voice recorder which can record what I say and type it in for me.. And my dumb weekly report caused me some problems that I had to stay up till now to settle..

Gotta head back to school tomorrow.. Seems Dr Ooi wants to start on the project already.. Ah, just great.. Been waiting to go back for a good reason.. But hope I won't be haunted for the report yet..

So, its almost 3 months.. Since then, things changed so much.. Life was so different then, compared to now.. Ever heard of the saying: "You lose some, you gain some"? Yea.. That's what happened..

For starters, I lost involvement in both my CCAs.. Went for the tennis team trials some time back, but failed to get past.. I thought I was playing alright, yea some dumb mistakes.. But no idea how I failed to get in to the provisional 19.. Oh well, might as well give the next batch of freshmen their shot at glory.. This year's team looks especially strong.. I know they can do very well..

I ran for this year's main comm.. Didn't get in.. Yea, what to expect.. Things are different now, and I acknowledge all the mistakes which I've made (no matter how minor) which led to the downfall of the trust of all the people who were working with me.. Still, thanks for encouraging me till the end of FOC, and all the best to the new committee..

*deep breath out* so that's 2 responsibilities off my chest.. Might say that I've changed since taking up more responsibilities.. But what's good if you change? What really got you into such a position in the first place? Its what you did at the start, who you were in the beginning.. I've not been myself for a long, long time.. Freeing me of these responsibilities have given me the chance to be myself again, and I want to! To the friends I have remaining, I promise to be the guy you first met again.. So thanks for sticking by and not changing one bit.. To my new friends, I'm here to offer my time to hang out, and enjoy myself again! Do what I enjoy, say what my heart really feels (oh, that brings back an old rallying cheer)

Anyway, relationship is not something that's been going smoothly too.. Won't want to reveal details here.. I feel differently about it compared to last time.. Either way, we're leaving it to later.. I don't want to make a hasty decision now and be at the end of regret..

If I'm to really pour out more details, I'd need a private blog.. Been wanting to change this blog into something more of an online personal diary.. Then I won't have to worry about people commenting on how dead this blog can be :P

Anyway, Happy 10th Month Anniversary dear.. Happy, maybe not, but its still 20th June..

2008-03-29T00:29:00.003+08:00

Wee~ I didn't know OT felt so good.. On Thursday, I worked OT after I was allowed to do blood aliquoting.. So I did about 192 samples on that day, half of the before lunch and the rest in the late afternoon.. Then my company ordered tea break snacks for everyone.. I had a good time sharing funny times with my collegue.. Up till now, I don't know how to spell his name.. We talked about soccer in the morning, songs in the afternoon, and the wacky experiences we had before.. Sad he's gonna end his project there already and leave the lab on the week I return from my leave.. I won't have a buddy in the lab for the rest of my attachment..

Today (Friday 28th March) was a total opposite from yesterday.. It was so boring.. I just went to the store room to search for samples, fill the ethanol tank and rushed to confirm reports.. Other than that, I was making up for the log book entries I haven't written.. Then I would stone and read whatever I can get my hands on.. Boring, not how I'd like to end the week before going onn leave..

Then back to school for night walk recce.. I kinda regret not volunteering to go to block 50 to do scaring or walk the nightwalk.. Wow, not only the atmosphere was great, the chances of scaring were purely irresistable! Maybe I'm just bored of the old block 80 places.. But I won't get to do full time scaring this time though.. Leave it to the other seniors to have fun..

My weekend is pretty much off, unless I'm needed somewhere for camp stuff.. Time I prepared for camp..

2008-03-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

Dad left last Saturday.. Went to flag painting super late cuz I wanted to send him off after I didn't spend enough time with him.. It was Dr Kenny Yaw's wife's birthday as well.. So mum went to buy a cake and bouquet of flowers after Dr Yaw called and asked her for the favour.. Its ok, but the session at night lasted really long, especially after the celebration..

Flag painting was fun.. But it had to get serious after time became an issue and the attitude of some GLs.. Oh well, I'm just happy they were all done up well in the end.. The banner was deffinitely nicer than last year's though.. Haha.. Job well done GLs

I've got a song stuck well in my head already.. After it keeps playing so often on the radio in my lab.. I didn't really like it, but I find it kinda catchy now.. After I told my collegue about it playing so often, he kept making fun of me saying its my "favourite song".. So my other collegues will ask "Is that your favourite song?" when we both turn to the radio and laugh when the song plays.. Oh well, I like it now anyway..

Yesterday was so boring in the lab.. It was paper work all the way.. Almost didn't even had to put on my labcoat.. Today was a bit different though.. Was busy busy after 10am, but it was fun.. Got a new project to do, while my previous project is still not really completed.. That's what I was kinda looking forward to.. Then a senior came over to meet us for lunch time.. Seen him in school before, but don't know him..

Very tired now.. Don't know why, I got scolded by mum over the phone when I called home to tell her I was working OT and only just left my work place.. I mean, there was totally 0 reason for her to scold me at all.. Nothing which would seem logical.. Now, half her sentences to me would be scoldings.. I don't know what's got into her, but talking to her is not a pleasant thing right now..

Anyway, I can't wait to try out the new project tomorrow.. Its something that's gonna take lots of time and effort, and its something new.. So I'm looking forward to it!

FOC is in a week's time! I hope the GLs are really ready for the camp itself.. I'm ready to make it go smoothly.. Ready to use up all my energy again like it did last year.. Ready to take criticism again.. I may not have everyone's trust like last year, or maybe not as much anymore, but I'm still gunning for success in the camp.. Its a bigger role this time around, so I've got to take a bigger responsibility.. For this, I have to believe in myself again.. After the camp, whatever happens won't have much of a bearing anymore..

I need to rest to make the best out of an enjoyable day at work tomorrow.. So happens that where I'm working at now is what I want to do in the future.. I didn't realise it until a collegue told me about it today.. Hmm, let's see if I can get into a university first.. But I'll enrol into bed now first.. Tired already

2008-03-20T01:20:00.006+08:00

The weekend was quite ok.. I got to go down to school to check out how things were.. Its good that what ever little I've done, pans out to be alright in the end.. I'm thankful for that..

Got to spend time with dad, for what probably is, the longest time since he's been back.. Went to play soccer at the field with my sis, and he came along.. So we got the "lao jiang" (direct translates to old champ) to show us what he was still capable of.. And I do mean, "jiang".. It was really fun! Then it was labour again, as I moved the old TV to my grandma's place.. We got a new TV after renewing our home internet plan.. So my grandma would have a bigger TV at her place now.. Still, climbing 4 stories up with that TV was crazy, even when dad was carrying it on the other side.. Ryl just kept "cheering".. I laughed too much that we had to stop for a while since I can't carry.. Getting it to the stairs was one thing, and carrying it up was another!

Then we went to Godpa's place.. Supposed to only have dinner there, but it actually turned out to be Godma's birthday as well! She so pai seh until she cut her cake once she brought it out of the freezer.. We haven't even put the candles on, let alone sing the birthday song.. I missed my cousins.. Quite a while since I've seen them together.. Recently, it would be the bad timings that disallow me to sit around and talk with them..

3 straight days of fieldwork kills!

This means waking up 6.30 in the morning and heading out to Changi Ferry Terminal.. I'm really tired, but there's lotsa blood samples to be drawn and collected there.. Today, it was just me and Janet as "traffic" wasn't expected to be high.. I'm still wondering how 300+ totally different names can appear in one construction site! What's worst is, when some people don't register early enough, I'll have to write their freakin' long name down twice!

For the past few weeks, I've been preparing solutions for my Turkey cell cultures.. Its really labour intensive, and yet it takes some time before it actually is ready for use.. I said that it was like some kind of wine.. The fieldwork and Turkey cell preperation is enough to sap out my energy.. I miss the PCR days! But so happened, during my free time today, I got to do one run! I got all my PCR reports into my book at last! I was too lazy to print my last run, so I would go back to the lab tomorrow and finish up what's left undone today..

I got to play tennis with Hao Ming yesterday.. He's one of my collegues in the lab.. I haven't played for quite sometime, since my second common tests to be exact.. It was good that I could still hit and move around, but not as good as last time though.. I wanna play more! The game ended at 6-3 4-5, with me winning the first set while the second hung in the balance.. Well, not really, I was just making a comeback to make the score look more even..

Hmm, I feel that somethings I've mentioned in my last post was kinda "off".. Well, someone gave me a little pep talk.. It woke me up, and I think I'm happier now that I want to improve on what I have been doing so far.. So, I'll sincerely apologise to my fellow organizer.. Davin, so sorry! Its me that should really change my way of doing things, but I still hope you'll communicate with me more and share what you're thinking and what your plans are..

Still, there are other things that haven't really been settled yet, but we'll leave it to another time..

I got a day off tomorrow! Well, not really.. My safety induction was brought forward, so I still have to go back to work.. And after that, I would still need to go to the lab to finish my 2 reports, and then it down to school.. I hope the GLs are doing well.. Had a good laugh with a few of them on Monday.. Really had a good "insight" to their thoughts..

Hmm, 130 forms to colate, 26 down, and 104 more to go.. Tired tired.. Maybe I'll continue it tomorrow.. The long weekend seems to be kicking in already!

2008-03-15T21:02:00.003+08:00

3 weeks since my exams... 3 weeks since I last posted something here... Been a while... So has it been a time for me to unwind and relax for a long time...

My attachment has been a really enjoyable one... I love the environment here... I think its great to have collegues like these, and a supervisor that makes my work enjoyable... Though the harsh security, the guards at the front desk are really friendly... I'm just bothered over not being able to have my phone with me during work... Its crazily tough to communicate with people and tough for people to reach me... I thought I would have my old 6610 for it but it died out on me the first morning of my attachment... Till now, I've yet to find a replacement battery for it...

Now somethings really puzzles me, and puzzles me till I'm stressed... Its the simplest things in life that make things so complicated in the end...

Dad came back when I was away at Trial Camp... I wasn't there the morning he came back... Right now, I don't spend more than an hour with him a day... Mum complains to me how he is useless around the house, and how he sometimes complains about my maid's cooking... I think he should do something when he's here... He doesn't bother finding out things from me now that he can talk to me in person... I don't see him helping at all... Maybe he should have came back during my sister's exams so that he can help her without her having to bug me... At least one thing he's got right is playing mahjong with my grandma now... I'm happy that he's putting a smile on my grandma's face just by his presence alone... Anyway, I think he's just too ignorant about things around the house... What bothers me here is, what does he want to do when he came back?

Mum is no different either... She's just focused on work... Sure she comes back and has a few laughs with my sister, and scolds me for almost everything I do... She doesn't pay attention to me as much now... She thinks there are more important things to remember (like her work) than her family... I still make sure I tell her where I'm going... But she'll just ask me on the day itself again... And asks as though I'm in the wrong... Its not like I don't tell her... She doesn't pay attention to it! I even gave up asking her why she doesn't remember... I'll always get back the same reason: "I've got better things to remember than this"... Is work all that matters to you now?

Trial camp looked like a great success... I feel that it has spurred lots of my GLs to become very motivated to do Trial Camp well... I'm happy for them, if I have done something which have contributed to it... But really, I feel that I don't...

I really feel that my fellow SGLs (and maybe my AGLs) have picked the wrong person for the job... The wrong person to take the post of vice-president, the wrong person to run the trial camp and FOC... I don't know what to do, and the people around me don't teach me things... I only learn when I make my mistakes during the time of the event, which is really, too late for me to apply anything... I fully agree now that being a welfare GL in FOC sucks... I come back as a useless SGL... I don't know anything... My co-organizer knows it all, and does everything on his own... Some times I feel as though he makes all the decisions... Finance, logistics, camp schedule, down to what I should know more, the welfare... Am I that useless? I don't see myself in doing anything that contributes now... He thinks that we should be working to each others strengths, which is he does all the background work, while I work when the actual camp is... I don't like this system! Ron did it... He had his share of work during the organizing of the camps... His partner was a games committee member... I don't see why it doesn't work out for me as well... I'm not supposed to mention this here, but its just part of what I want to vent out...

Another thing that contributes to the thought is that I really don't have the impact on my fellow seniors as well as my own seniors... I'm too soft, and when I try to get loud on things, they think I'm plainly shouting and disrespectful... I don't know what is really right... No one wants to tell me... So now, I've lost not only the respect from them, but also the trust they "had" in me... I feel so weak, that I've lost my composure twice and broken down just as much... I really didn't have to... But I know I'm not superman anymore, and its time I let things flow out... So I don't feel that sitting in this "vice-president" position is really the right thing... I don't think I'm cut out for something as big as this anymore... I don't think I have any real friends now... I've lost my faith in myself, completely...

My grades didn't look good either... I expected an A from my immunology... Turned out to only be a B+... And I was so confident on that paper... I thought there would be some hope from this semester after all... The difference of an A to a B+ is so great... My GPA was really far from what I expected... I really hope that its me not being hardworking enough, but I can't help thinking that I'm becoming stupid...

My relationship isn't helping me ease any of these things either... She wants me to be happy, to relieve and take away my unhappiness... Instead, she giving me the unecessary stress as well... Maybe I'm not doing my part in keeping the relationship fresh... Maybe I'm unable to commit to it like I used to... I hope she really understands that being together in the same school is just a small added bonus to our relationship and not over exploit it...

She was the one who asked me to go watch "Step Up 2" on our anniversary... Yet, she went to watch it with her friends and only telling me so late on... That's the second movie which I wanted to watch so much, but she watched it with others... I've already given up alot for her, and I feel she's one of the few valuables that I can really call mine... If she's not there to spend my free time with, who or what will? What saddens me more about this is that I was told by my supervisor that I would most probably have the day off this coming Thursday... And so happens, its the 20th... Even god is helping me... Now I don't see the need for me to spend our anniversary together when she doesn't appreciate it... Mind you, its not all about the gifts that matters ok?! She claims she is strong, that she can take care of herself... Is it? Really? I don't see that... She's still that small little girl after all...

Actually, I was just picking myself up and wanting to talk to her again today... But just when I saw her unwell again, I just thought that it was going to be the same as the last time... Anyway, I just think that she can't keep to her promise of taking care of herself... How does she want to take away my sadness when she can't even take care of herself? I just thought, forget it, leave things the way it is now... I can't find happiness in this...

Sorry if I did reveal things that shouldn't have been told... Sorry that I've dissapointed people who held me for something... That I broken anything that I promised... But I will keep to my promise that I will run this FOC well, because it is not my event alone... Sorry if I have offended anyone... Sorry if I had made anyone dislike me more... Sorry if I wasted anyone's time reading this... Sorry I took the path of all these and caused the unhappiness... Sorry for being so useless... Sorry if I had made anyone sad... Its not what I should have done, but I've done it all wrong, and I feel the worst now...

2008-03-02T02:39:00.003+08:00

Exams are over (ya, that was quite some time ago), and I've had an enjoyable weekend to celebrate it!

On the evening of the immuno paper, I went out with a few peeps to celebrate the Denyse's birthday.. Steamboat was nice, though I would have pretty much be sick of it after that dinner.. I had dear for company, and she likes me "feeding" her.. Don't know if anyone got that..

On the next day, I went out with dear to celebrate a belated anniversary! Yup, 6th month already! Time passes fast.. We went to watch P.S. I love you.. Suprisingly, lotsa people were watching this show.. Maybe everyone were having a belated valentine/anniversary as well.. Then we went to get couple shirts.. Its quite simple, but we both eyed for the same design.. I find it really cute, though it could have came with more designs on it.. I only went to collect it with her today (Saturday, 1st March)..

Attachment has started for me.. I've got loads to tell, but very little energy left to go on.. So I'll leave it till the next post (hopefully soon) to talk about it more.. *yawn*

2008-02-14T23:13:00.003+08:00

My First Valentine's Day

Not the usual ways couples would spend it - studying together that is... The company still made it special for me... Dear came over to my place to study! I always love my time with dear, even if its at home, cuz she makes it that much cozier... We struggled to find the study mood, and still had each other as little distractions along the way... Enjoyed the whole time studying with you dear!

We exchanged presents when we got into the house... Dear gave me 2 "presents" when we met at the station actually... My Organic and Inorganic Chem Reference book and the older Nokia handphone charger I need for my attachment... So sweet of her to remember that I'll need it!

Dear made me lots of things for V'day!

A big jar of cookies and a small V'day card! Your xiao zhu is very happy to get cookies dear! Especially the one shaped "I<3U", can't bear to eat it!

Some chocolates she melted and molded... Dear scared not tasty at all but we sampled some and it turned out great!

And of course, I had to do something for her as well

Made it on my own, after buying the flowers and wrappings... Gave it to her with some chocolates... Darling, in a few days, the bouquet will "tell" you something! Hope you get the hint!

Went out at 6+ for dinner with dear... Just as we were walking out of the estate, Mr Mak called and told me that my application for DSO got rejected, but I got accepted in the IMCB lab in Biopolis! I'm just happy I'm not stranded for my IAP, and I won't have to travel far from the MRT station to and from work...

Everywhere was crowded at Parkway, so we settled for delifrance... We were both hungry from all the studying... Luckily they had bake rice, which was what dear intended to eat if we went to Swenson's... She wanted ice cream after dinner, but she was too full to eat anymore after the meal...

Sent dear to the MRT station... Didn't want to part her from my arms, not on my first Valentine's Day... I wish it wasn't exams tomorrow (total spoiler)... Walked out of the station in time to catch a bus home...

I got home to read dear's small card which came along with the cookies, and her E-card as well... I was so touched by the simple words in the E-card and the music that came along with the animation that I started to tear...

Haha, I've never cried out of happiness before! Its that special to me! Thanks darling! I love you! Wonder if I can find that background music anywhere... Won't show the words that follow though, this post mushy enough already...

Studying is probably the only spoiler now... Vanessa was kinda right when I talked to her last night, its hard to study when you're in Valentine's mood... We've both got papers tomorrow, and its time I did memory work... Hope dear is able to manage well! Take care my love! I'm always with you, right by your side! Thanks for making my first Valentine's Day so special! Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T00:48:00.001+08:00

14th February!
Happy Valentine's Day Dear!

And of course, Happy Valentine's day to everyone out there, whether you celebrate it or not.

Went to school for a while today (Wednesday 13th Feb). Thought it was meant to be a revision session for Immuno, turns out to be a question and answer, and dicussing past year paper. So I left after the Q&A.

Went to a few places and got stuff for V'day... Will post pictures of my creation after the dinner, just in case dear gets a sneak preview here... Gonna be unable to study in the evening later... WIll be going out for dinner with dear... Our first Valentine's Day together! This will be the first time I won't spend it alone!

Charmaine has flown back to Aussie... Didn't see her much despite her long time back in SG... But one guy sure did (you know who you are)... Didn't go send her off cuz I must be a good brother and take care of the kiddo at home, and I'll kinda look kinda califare over there with Alvin and their family gathering... Take care Charmaine, have a safe flight!

Well, about mugging, still sucks... I'm totally unprepared for DBG, and I can't study... Lost the concentration already... FOC and Trial Camp hovering around in my mind... I wanna study! I don't wanna get anything below a B this semester (well, maybe except my BIF :p)Feel so stupid not being able to score well last sem

Okie, back to mugging...

2008-02-12T16:12:00.000+08:00

This will be one of the rare times I blog in the middle of the day... I'm bored of Immunology so I did abit of blog hoppin' before coming here... (wondering why I tagged on my own board before blogging)

I'm starting to appreciate the fact that MMB was a common test 2... If it wasn't I wouldn't have started notes on all the bacteria... Helps me a great deal in terms of memory cells, uh no, work I mean... I've yet to start on DBG, and I won't have full days to study the next 2 days...

Haiz, I don't know much about my tennis for now... I'm thinking of rejoining training during the next payment period, but I might be too late to fight for a spot in the team then... Going back now wouldn't be sensible, I don't know what my attachment environment and life would be like after the exams...

CNY was more dull this year... Less gambling, but I lost money instead... Played basketball (just plain shooting hoops) during one of my visits, and took a few penalty shots at the street soccer court at my uncle's place... Usual food, ate alot again (praying they make the right places of my body fatter), and drank alcohol... My goodness was i embarassed by my 3 yr old+ cousin... Check this out:

I drank a little more than him and I was already starting to get red while he didn't seem effected at all... He was indulging in Tiger Beer and Ba Kua for a whole hour, but he got kinda hyper after half an hour, so I think it kicked in... LoL

Mum held another gathering on the 3rd day... I invited dear over... Then my mum's guest came over and I had to entertain the guests... Dinner was quick and brief, before I sent dear off...

One reason probably why CNY didn't have the mood is cuz' of the upcomming exams... Never experienced this kinda stress during CNY before...

Ok, back to studying... I'm gonna finish Immuno today and get started on DBG

2008-01-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

Tell me, how much does a passion mean to you? Have you found something you have a passion in doing? Is there anything that makes you what you are? What if you lose it all of a sudden? What if its taken from you? Sadly, I've got mine removed so easily, without attempting to put on a struggle to hold on to it...

Simple, I don't play tennis anymore...

Or rather, I can't... Since secondary school, people who understand me even the smallest bit, know that one of my greatest passion lies in tennis... I talk about it as fluently as I can speak english, as far as I walk... It seems that I'm all about my tennis... When tennis is gone from me, what becomes of me? A regular student? Well, that's what mum thinks when she stopped me going for anymore trainings... IT'S F***ING PLAIN JACK NOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

SHIT F***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just when I was about step out for training just now... I should have just stepped out of the door without telling mum... To think I should be a good boy and bid mum goodbye...

COSTLY!!!!!!!! ITS WAS A DAMN, F***ING COSTLY DECISION!!!!!!!!

I just changed out and headed to bed to sleep... Should have slept through dinner if not for her shouting and making a ruckus in my room... DAMN IT! ITS SUPPOSED TO BE MY TRAINING TIME! I'M USING ALL THE TIME NOW FOR SLEEP CANT I?!?!?! It made me think of Kenneth's "New Year Resolution" man for a while but even that couldn't get me to laugh.

I want my tennis back! I want it back so much! I'm improving, I'm hitting form! I wanna represent NP again! I wanna play! I wanna do what I have the passion for! Why can't I anymore?!

Well, other than this sad news, I've got tests for the next 6 school days straight... Sad, but I'm paying attention to that at least... It starts tomorrow... I just wish there were no more lectures... I wanna go home after every test and sleep!!! SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP!!!!!! SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

After abit of a confusion, its been kinda confirmed that I'm going for my attachment next semester... No holidays, straight to work... I don't mind... I'd sleep through my holidays if there was no FOC to plan...

Chinese New Year is coming soon, just next week actually... Visiting to do, chance of the year to eat the most of the best food... But can I exchange all those well wishes from my relatives and all the money in all my red packets for my passion back? Is there such a deal? Tell me!

2008-01-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

Someone I know has joined me to be 19 yrs old early in the year! Happy birthday Hui Xian! Lao Jiao (2nd ying diao) already! Hoho... Hope she enjoyed her lil birthday celebration yesterday..

Stress fromstudies is mounting.. I don't show it, that's cuz i forget it the moment I get a chance to make a genuine laugh.. Just yesterday, I sorta knew what to study for the BIF quiz, and I couldn't remeber a single thing when I took it.. That was really demoralizing, considering the 40% test which comes soon and the project that is due on the same day..

Just today, I took my jap reading test.. Sorta alright, but I hope I'll do better than the writing test.. My "obasan" mistake was a nightmare.. I didn't eat anything till 3+ during the lesson.. 1 energy bar.. I went exploring the open house places with Denyse and returned to class without anything.. I saw Marcus and a whole bunch of St. Pat's juniors at the convention basement when I was going back.. Marcus told me just now that they still remembered me! SO touch-ed!

Went back to LSCT to meet a few peeps for "lunch".. By then, my stomach was crawling out to find food already! After I waved hi to Dr Ho, she pulled me over to do course counselling for a few St. Pat's guys! They were a different bunch from those at the Convention Basement but they remembered me from their orientation camp! It was also good that they had interest in coming to LSCT.. They have big dreams man, medical school.. Woots.. But its great to know that I helped in increasing their interest in coming.. Denyse took a whole stack of LSCT magazine and went around giving out.. That's sense of accomplishment for ya'..

Tommorow would be when I start to do my open house duty.. Course counselling fun leh! Especially those who have interest in this area.. I wish I got the counselling job rather than the tour job.. But there's still the grim reaper's job on Saturday!

I'm gonna be off for now.. I'm tired, and I want to relax as much as I can for now before I ever start to stress myself again..

2008-01-06T00:43:00.000+08:00

5 days after the start of the new year, I'm enjoying one of the best days of my life! My juniors gave a a pleasant suprise on Friday.. Though it isn't exactly my birthday yet, they decided to celebrate it since it was the last day of the week in school.. Dear baked a cake at Shili's place on Wednesday and they had their suprise celebration for me.. Jordan was claiming credit for drawing the duck on the cake.. i got a present from Shili too! I was showed some videos and pictures of the process.. Thanks dear for putting in all that thought and effort into the cake! And thanks to Shili, Jenny and Jordan for helping her do that! Already, this made my 19th birthday so much more special than last year's! Thanks to all my juniors! I never had juniors celebrating my birthday for me before.. Thanks loads to this special bunch!

MMB results were pleasant to have, and I sent my paper back for bargaining so that I'd get an A+.. DBG was horrid though.. I did way below the lecture average.. Eew.. Not nice.. Sent dear home at the end of the day before taking a long journey back home..

Joel called at night, saying I left my pants in the clubhouse and I needed to remove it cuz it stinks.. The blur me took his words seriously! I told him I wont be able to make it at night, but I'll go at around 11.. Then Wei San sms-ed to ask me to open the clubhouse for her.. Nothing seemed odd then, and I thought things were juz well timed..

Just before I wanted to head to bed, I received a call at 12am from Bee Sim.. She sounded very sad, but slpwly turned to the concerned and cute voice.. She asked loads of funny things, like "how come not asleep yet?" Then she gave me a letter "H".. about 5 minutes later came another call.. Xiang Ling called and gave a very sian "A".. Haha.. I roughly got the hint.. And Joel and Denyse called next to give me "P P P P P P P P P..." Haha... What followed were: Jeremiah asking "Y ah?", Nikki's blur blur "what's after A ah?", Darren's "my letter is I, yea", Lendl's "heeeey.. i give R", Ming Cheng's "Donald ah, T", Davin's "Dooonaldd, H", Abel's "wei, D.. you know what's happening already right?", Kai Hua's "Yo.. A", and Steph's chirpy "Y! Heehee!"

Haha! Thanks guys! I'll remember this special present from you! The thought was really great! And the present was really sweet! Thanks loads! You made the first hour of my birthday really enjoyful!

I woke up early in the morning to head to school for tennis.. For a moment, I thought it was gonna rain.. I rushed out without bringing anything else other than my tennis stuff and a change of clothes.. Not forgetting a plastic bag for my "stinky pants".. I played tennis with a guy I have mistook to be Wei San's nephew for so long! I received SMSs from lots of people wishing me happy birthday! Then two girls played on the court at the far end came to me and asked us to join them.. Marcus was kinda tired so it would be better since it'll be livelier.. I thought them both a little tennis, which seemed to help abit.. Then they left just in time for me to head to the clubhouse..

On my way to the clubhouse, my "little twin stars" called.. They sang happy birthday to me over the phone! Heard there was a few other girl juniors as well! Haha.. Thanks for it all! Every moment of the day was greeted with delight!

When I got to the clubhouse, Wei San was already inside, and Denyse seemed to have just woken up on the sofa.. I began to look for my "pants".. Wei San didn't know where, so I called Joel.. He took me on a long search and brought me to the shelf near the clubhouse window.. When I just reached the shelf and began to search, my fellow SGLs popped up from behind the window with a birthday cake! Now that's a BIG BIG birthday suprise! It was planned so well, and they thought that I wouldn't fall for the "pants" trick.. Haha.. Wei San was a double confirm to get me to go down to the clubhouse.. thanks loads to all of you guys for this wonderful and special suprise! It was truely a wonderful gift for me! On top of that, I still got presents from them!

I rushed home for lunch and a quick shower before going for Dr Kenny Yaw's lesson.. Mum was kind enough to wait for me to finish up everything and go with her.. Cheryl gave me a birthday card she made! Receiving cards from her nowadays is extra special! She's become more creative than she was, and really thoughtful too!

Alvin was MIA from his phone for the first hour before telling me he had his OIAP stuff to do.. Anyway, Dr Yaw's lesson wasnt what I intepreted to be (damn, my chinese is getting worst).. But I still learnt loads of things during that 3 hour session, and so proud I only dozed of for about less than 10minutes! Haha..

Met dear at a later time at Paya Lebar after the meeting.. I had to rush off halfway during my mum's debriefing session.. Then we took a bus down to Parkway Parade for dinner! I tried Fish & Co for the first time.. Glad dear and I had our fill.. Then I could officially bring her home for the first time! Dear's parents finally let her come to my place, but it was initially for what I said, for a birthday dinner.. Enjoyed dear's company for that time till my mum came home.. It seems mum also got a cake for me as well! Now, how about 3 cakes for one birthday! Got pictures taken before cutting out and sharing the cake..

My heart was aching already.. Aching with all that joy.. I'm deeply touched.. I'm really a lucky, lucky birthday boy this year.. With all those thoughtful wishes from so many of my friends, to those suprises, the 3 cakes, the special celebrations, the presents, and most importantly, all the effort put into everything! I love it so much, I'm keeping the 3 plastic knives I used to cut the cakes! Bits of everything built up to making 2 very happy days for this boy.. Thanks to all who made the start of the year so memorable! I can't thank you guys enough! This will surely go down as one of the most memorable birthdays of my life!

2008-01-01T02:23:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year everyone! May 2008 be a greater year!

No long post of thanks this year, well, probably thanks to the girl that stepped into my life! Thanks dear! Really greatful that you walked into my life and filled up the empty spaces, especially in my heart! Love you dear!

To my dad who has been working ever so hard over in Dubai to support the family! To mum who is always taking good care of us here at home and giving us a cosy home! To my sister who ever so gives me frustrations and bugs me but shares great conversation times with me and makes me laugh at her idealogy! To my relatives who have also taken good care of me at those few certain times of the year! To my friends who have made school a great place to look forward to going! To the people in my CCAs which make every session much more enjoyable!

Ok, I went back on my words... Haha... But I have to thank them somehow...

So that's about it... No thanks to the flu virus and colesore I'm having now... Spoils my 100% high mood this time of the year... Haiz...

Well, I did have my first new year resolution come true! I made it while I was squeezing through the crowd outside Marina while trying to get to ritz carlton... I said that I wanted to get to my friends in time before they left! I know, cheap joke, but I did fulfill it!

Enjoyed my day today with my friends and dear! Though I would have liked it if dear could stay out later, I spend my new year's eve well with her in the afternoon already!

Back to now, I needa get to bed *yawn*! Good night, or rather, good 2008 morning!

2007-12-26T02:46:00.000+08:00

Wee~! Back from Dubai! Arrived on Monday morning 11am

Went to do Xmas shopping with Cheryl a day before I left for Dubai... Would be weird if i went alone... Dear was in camp, everyone else had plans, so I'll make do and spend some quality time with my little sister instead then! Bought quite some stuff, and suprisingly, was under budget by alot! Haha... Save money... Went home to do last minute packing for my trip... Slept late cuz I was doing up presents before I left for Dubai... I'll return on Xmas eve which is kinda late...

Dubai was fun! Though lotsa sand, they made good use of the land! Its suprisingly cooling! Would you believe that I'd wear my long sleeved shirts to the dessert and still feel cold?!

I arrived in Dubai at their local time of 9.20pm... Traffic is horrible only when we came out of the airport... Dad came late to pick us up cuz he thought we'll be held up be the customs... Man was he wrong... The staff there directed us past lotsa long queued counters so we only had to go through one! We stayed in Dad's room in the mansion his company bought for their staff... Its really small but dad bought a double-decked bed so we'd be accomodated... Hope he does some good about it before he leaves Dubai for good... The first laugh came about my mum bringing Dad's camera over... She literally brought the camera, nothing else... The battery (meant for the camera only) was left in Singapore along with the charger!

Over the next few days, I visited a total of 5 different states of the United Arab Emirates (UAE)... Dad said the other two were just cities and had nothing much to see... I'm too lazy to update pictures now, so I'll leave it to another day and another post...

Dad had our activities well planned for the stay! We went for a dessert safari which included a dessert camp dinner, ride fast 4WD bikes across sand dunes, go up the highest peak (Jebel Harfeet if not wrong) in UAE (by CAR), went to a natural hotspring, visit their giant theme park -Global Village- which opens only a few days a year, visit lots of heritage villages and palaces, go to funfairs and take all those thrill rides, see the 2 greatest hotels in UAE, went to the enormous Mall of the Emirates (didn't try their artificial ski hill though), and did shopping at a few places! It was the public holidays there for 4 days, so we came just in time where dad was free to take us around by taking only a half-day off!

I went off 2 days before Mum and Sis to come back in time to go to Godpa's place to celebrate Xmas... Abit of regrets here and there, and I'll miss dad... He'll only be back next Febuary... I gave him his Xmas present the night before I left... He said his desk didn't have space for more...

My flight back was really eventful... My first flight was from Dubai to Bangkok, with a short pitstop to Chennai... I was seated next to an Indian worker... I think I irritated him by sneezing and going to the toilet (I sat the window seat) alot... And the pen I lent him ran out of ink when he was filling up his immigration card halfway, oops... Suprisingly, he bid goodbye to me twice before he left the plane...

Then at Chennai, the next person who sat next to me was a Canadian named Aaron... I talked and interacted with him alot throughout the flight... Found out that he was on his "small" trip alone around asia which was gonna be about 5 months long... I think he has friends everywhere... He told me about his stay in India and his travels... It was actually his holiday break, and he wanted a break away from his normal lifestyle... This was the first flight where I took 2 meals! Aaron and I were wondering what they were doing serving a meal -and I do not mean light snacks- at 1am! My flu was gone during the flight, but it came back really hard on after I got off... I parted from Aaron then, and started my long wait in Bangkok for my transit flight back to Singapore...

I saw on the departure boards in the airport that my boarding time was 8am... Didn't bother to look at my boarding pass... I left the cafe at 7.30am... When I double checked my gate number at the board, I saw that my flight was already on LAST CALL! It was stated instead on my boarding pass that it was 7.20am! At first I didn't worry cuz I thought that the gate was quite near... Then I started to curse my luck when I found out I had to walk the length of the airport to get to the gate! When I got there, it was almost 7.50, and I was sorta like the only one to walk in at that time...

I realised that this transit plane was Royal Silk class, so I had my own private screen which I can watch my own movies, listen to more songs or play games... Sadly the flight was just over 2 hours, and though I got to watch Pirates (At World's End) over breakfast, I couldn't finish the movie... I got off the plane and got cleared out of the customs fast as the locals' queue was almost empty... I was the first to get to the baggage belt but the last to get my luggage! Seems that my luggage needed extra security check, and so did another guy... After checking, the other guy went off free while I got detained by ICA!!! Seems like I was held back for a -something- which I did not declair before the check... Mum packed it in without me knowing, so how would I know?! Haiz, long procedures... Luckily the officer knew how to call instead of waiting for ICA staff to get over! I signed a form and I could leave after a lecture by the officer...

Got home to unpack and get a quick shower and lunch before sending my grandma home... Then I went out with Dear to City Hall... Lotsa places around City Hall actually, hunting for more presents... Dear gave me part one of my Xmas present from her while I gave her our belated 4th month anni present... Another day with me carrying bags home... We watched National Treasure in the cinema but I fell asleep during the movie... Guess history is not my groove, but I caught the front and end, so its ok if I missed how he solved the clues I guess... I still felt quite lousy about sleeping in a movie... Like a waste of money... Then it was a frantic hunt for Cheryl's Xmas present... I really didn't know what to get her... Thanks to dear, who kept following me and giving me support though I was tired and a little panicky... Initially, I already knew what I wanted to get for her... But it was gone when I got there, not sure if its out of stock or something else... Haiz... It was one of the things I knew would make her happy after talking to her during the shopping trip... Hope I'll get to find it again some other time...

Its my first Xmas with Dear this year! Dear gave me part 2 of the Xmas present while I gave her my Xmas present to her... Thanks dear! I brought her to my family's Xmas party... She got to know the people in my family... Then I got to talk to my cousin whom I usually talk alot to a few years back... He's in NS but we got a few common interests and he told me about some interesting things that happened in his camp... I laughed really hard on those... I received my Xmas present and an early birthday from my Godpa there! I'm gonna wear one of it on my first day back at school... I saw it and I knew it was my Godsis who picked it for me... She thought I wouldn't dare to wear it... Thanks for all my presents! Then Dear and I got to interact and play with my younger cousins after alot of my relatives went off... It was really fun, and I hope dear enjoyed her time!

Sent dear home halfway, with her hugging her present from me home because I had to use the giant plastic bag to carry alot of stuff home... I just wrapped up Mum and Cheryl's Xmas and Birthday presents up... Mum's birthday is just 3 days after Xmas, so I combined 2 presents this year... I'm gaining a little bit more confidence on my wrapping skills now... Hope its something that impressess mum as well... She thinks I can't wrap for nuts...

That's about it for my holidays so far after the common tests... I missed GL training during the week I was away... Heard the attendance was poor, and a new "record" set... Haiz... I placed my presents in a corner of my room and I'm leaving the opening till the night of 26th to open... Heehee... I missed openning presents! Thanks to all again for the presents! So I'll leave it to a nice night set aside just so I can enjoy it! I need sleep! So, from here,

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! ENJOY BOXING DAY TOO!!! DON'T GET TOO MANY BRUISES! (Ok, I'm just kidding about the last line)

2007-12-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

Immuno is over! Risky paper, risky answers... Haha... I hope the risks pay off...

Dear came over to Lt45 to see me after my paper... The small girl very free already, can use her time like that... Then she walked me out to the bus stop before going back to the gym to key in her NYAA stuff... She gave me an early anniversary present!

Thanks sweetie! Love it!

I came back home and toppled straight into bed after lunch... Could have went out with my mum and sis, but no mood to do anything else... Woke up only at 7 for dinner... If Cheryl didn't wake me up, I'll probably sleep till 9...

Haiz, no mood to study DBG... Time is not pressuring me yet... :P But I'm hungry again! Nothing much at home to eat... I'll see if I can stock up on Friday...

2007-12-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Second paper down.. Not so confident, had a "memory lost" during the CCTA paper and geva away the easiest of marks.. Should be happy the other questions were still manageable..

Immuno lesson was a quick one today.. Cleared quite a few doubts, but studying it now is like eternity! Done so little.. 2 papers more and it'll be over.. Then I'll be flying off in the weekend.. Gonna miss the Liverpool-Man U match.. Most of all, will miss my dear! Can't see her for a week plus! Hope the activities she has in the first week will keep her happy..

Gotta do some shopping in the weekend.. Don't know who to go with.. Will be funny if I go shopping alone.. Haha, can't imagine.. I'll miss alot of things in GLs while I'm gone.. Especially the 2 meetings.. Training as well.. Hope not much of them are gonna be taking place during the holidays..

Damn I should have stocked up on food before I left school! Hungry now and I don't want to resort to instant noodles for the second day running..

Dear doesn't feel confident for her paper tomorrow.. JIA YOU DEAR! GIVE YOU ALL MY CONFIDENCE! Haha.. Use all of it bah, since its your last paper..

2007-12-04T23:54:00.000+08:00

I realise, this is a very good time to put on weight.. Common tests only and I'm studying till late at night.. But come to think of it, I do that all the time! Main point is, there's no CCAs, no tennis, no GLs, no way to exercise.. Go gym also lazy or no time..

Well, a series of bad events poured my way over the last 2 weeks.. Put me off my usual self.. Dear is the one keeping me sane and emotionally in check.. Thanks dear! Love you for everything you did, including giving me the support I needed badly during this time..

Back to studying: it sucks! Common tests is not supposed to be this content heavy! Its only MMB now, but wait till immunology comes! At least I'm studying with unerstanding now.. Don't have to flip notes over and over and ask stupid questions..

Tommorow is MMB CT! Studying, wouldn't say mugging, for it now.. Aim to end by 2 latest.. Hopefully I see chapter 8 at 1.30am.. After tommorow would be the recovery period for the next 3 papers.. More importantly, I want my sleep!!! Hope I don't decide to catch up on sleep during immunology lecture tommorow..

2007-11-17T16:27:00.000+08:00

In the library with dear now.. Heehee.. Enjoying my time with you..

Love you Tan Yu Xin!

2007-11-11T19:27:00.000+08:00

Today is Dad's birthday!
Happy Birthday Dad!
Your present will only come when i reach Dubai though.. :p

This week was tiring.. Work load, sleep, training, and more..

I left so much work from last week untouched.. Practical reports and such.. Having all these on my mind really wore me out and I can't feel at ease.. Apart from that, I've got other projects to do.. I needed time home where I can do work.. Maybe I should skip training once or twice these days..

This week's GL training was kinda low for me.. I didn't get to do much.. At the end of everything, I learnt new things about myself.. Haiz.. Dissapointing, but its about time someone or something brought me back down from nowhere.. All those thoughts weighed in heavily in my brain, even now.. I can't wait till next training to give myself a chance to improve but that can only come 2 weeks later..

Tennis hasn't been fun on a 3 hour training.. That only happens when I don't have my racket! Dumb shop can't open on public holis.. Think its because I slept late that i didn't have much physical form today as well.. Felt exhausted so quickly.. Went out with dear after that.. As tired as I was, I was so happy to see her.. Especially the hug.. Went for lunch nearby kallang before going down to suntec for a movie..

We watched gameplan.. And coincidently, we were talking about being parents while waiting for the movie! Its really funny, so much better than balls of fury! It had its touching moments too.. And who would expect to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson cry in the movie.. I couldn't get enough of dear that day.. Just wanted her for longer moments.. We both had to go back for dinner though..

I slept late.. Really late.. I was completing my CCTA e-Learning and the practical report.. Seems I wasn't alone.. Qing Ling was up with me and we talked and discussed on all the questions.. I only got a little more than 2 hours of sleep.. I still had my wiki to do

I expected to have a slacky day before heading off for the bbq after school.. Then I found out that Dr Nevil didn't bring the lecture forward.. Then, the practical/tutorial ended so early that I had a long 5 hour break! Waste of time! I didn't even bring my laptop! I used Nadjmi's laptop to do up my wiki project and do up to schedule for red camp.. i was supposed to be tired but I got a sudden burst of energy after I finished my work!

During Nevil's lecture, I was still thinking about whether I should go for the BBQ or to work.. I didn't get a choice though when mum's message came in.. Haiz, I had to forgo the BBQ then.. Sorry Asyraf, and those who were planning the BBQ.. Nevil extended his lecture to finish up a few stuff but everyone's "stamina" was already depleted by then and more than half the class dozed off..

I had time then, since I was already in the east an hour before the event started.. I went down to collect my racket before heading down to the office.. Another $20 spent then.. Haiz.. And I'm supposed to be saving!

I looked at the newly renovated Elken office.. The main hall is so nice now! I looks smaller than before but the hall still seats the same capacity as before! No, I didn't go count the chairs when I was there.. But I could see the money used on the renovation was not cheap, and that the carpet flooring was said to have been designed specially for the hall area.. I've seen the lounge a couple of times already, but I can't help but find that its so classy everytime I walk in..

Apart from the usual programme, I got to see my aunt go up stage and claim her promotion award.. On the way home, I went to mac's to pick up my late, late dinner.. So many things gone and my fries weren't warm.. Only my burger was nice cuz it was freshly made..

I went to Uncle Jimmy's place after going to the office for a whole afternoon.. We celebrated my grandma's birthday in advance.. I came in time only after the cake was cut.. Ah ma still remember's me though, that's good enough for me and for her.. Just happy.. I played FIFA 08 on my uncle's PS3.. Got used to it in a few matches.. I played it all night since there was no interesting matches on tv..

Tonight has Man U, Arsenal, and Chelsea playing.. Pity all the matches are late at night, and a bigger pity that I've got school early in the morning tomorrow! Can't watch.. Dear is busy studying for her tests this week.. Jia You Dear! I've got more work to do so I'll be off from here now..

2007-11-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today was meant to be a one day e-Learning.. e-Learning means i can stay home and take my time to do my work.. Garh!! I had to go to school.. And on top of that, panic at the sight of questions that weren't much understandable after reading lecture notes..

Went to LT26 early in the morning.. There was only Jenny there when I reached at 10.. I got started with my work and completed reading Dr Zaman's practical.. For a moment I thought I had to buy micropipettes and get my own bacterial cells.. Well, as usual, Dr Zaman somehow manages to link the most illogical things to her lessons.. A very good example would be the question at the end of the practical.. Haiz.. I only got it right by luck.. Never even thought that far..

Dr Lim (Gordon) is nuts! He posted 4 lectures and had questions at the end of everyone of them.. Worst still, the answers could not be found in the lecture notes! Man, what is he testing exactly?!

I slacked off work after I started concentrating on commenting on the GLs' dance instead.. Went for lunch with the SGLs soon after.. I couldn't do much work, neither did I be much productive, but at least I got most of my e-Learning stuff done..

I didn't want to say much during the debrief today.. I thought it was reasonably well in terms of the performance.. I didn't want to comment on their attitude much either.. I thought I'd leave it to training to tell them all at once during a serious moment.. Someone had to step up and dampen their spirits.. He doesn't get the point I guess..

I had another talk with Hui Nee as well.. She put across lots of mistakes, especially those I made today.. I couldn't disagree.. I've still got lots to improve on as a senior.. Left to the bus stop with her and my tennis teammates thought she was my gf.. Sheesh.. Then they saw me talking to Joanna and muttering "old woman" to Liting across the bus stop and thought I was flirting with them.. Haiz.. C'mon guys! Look at who you're talking about! I don't have that kind of power like you guys yea?!

Then after we changed bus.. They asked me about dear and how we got into our relationship.. They asked about our first kiss but I just refused to tell them.. They kept bugging me all the way on the bus, in training, and after training!

My racket's strings snapped during warm-up today.. Snapped at the wierdest place too! At the top frame, and it was outside the face of the racket! Even the shopkeeper was stunned when he saw it.. I tried 2 different rackets today.. Could play well with them.. I think I'm actually improving for once.. This Thursday's training would be at 10am.. Can't get my racket back cuz the stupid shop doesn't open on public holidays.. Well, Pearlyn did bring me by IVP jacket though! Hehe.. I got it at last!

I'll end here with a birthday shout out to my fellow brotherhood cum beachboy cum DDLJ buddy: JOEL!!! Happy Birthday dude! You'll turn 18 in a matter of minutes! Congrats!

2007-11-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

The week has come to an end at last.. I've got TONS of assignments, especially practical reports pilled up and lots to read and catch up on.. At a glance from the top, it looked easy.. Right now, there's a lot of stress.. This is a bad week in terms of having lots of assignments..

It was so stupid of me in the first place to sleep late on Monday night.. Did the Tree Climbing booth timetable and got really little sleep.. The next day was just a hectic day which included training.. A long day.. I haven't started to sleep in lecture yet, but it was to be soon.. I knew I couldn't keep awake the next day.. I trained too hard during training I think.. I didn't rest much.. Kept moving and hitting for almost that 2 hrs.. By the last half an hour, my body was just acting sub-conciously.. I couldn't control much, my vision was blur, and just swept past everything I needed to do.. Went home to fall into bed without completing any work..

I should have skipped training on Wednesday.. Was such a good day to go back and finish up all the work.. I fell asleep in Dr Zaman's lecture despite all the loud screams she made.. In the end, I became the second person in the lecture to kena her "OH MY GOD! He's dead! I know CPR!" I still stayed after the performance preview and stayed throughout.. It ended really late, especially since the AGLs had something extra for us.. My plan for the Halloween gift for the GL backfired after a slight miscommunication.. At least the chocolates were given out.. A Trick or Trick that comes to you..

Thank god I didn't have to go for training on Thursday.. But I still had to attend a briefing for the weekend tour guide job.. I had a meeting with Lendl's class for the AEM Microbiology course.. We sorted out things and the timetable of activities to be covered.. Luckily I don't have much more work to be done.. The briefing ended early but I reached home the same time as coming home from training.. And I missed getting my new IVP Jacket! This one has "TENNIS" embroided! ARGH!!! I didn't knew Pearlyn would bring it so soon..

Friday was dead.. Whatever it was, I wasn't looking forward to the AGM in the evening.. Alvin and Denyse tried to go for the gym orientation but were too late.. But I was already determined to go gym-ing so I went alone during the 2 hr break.. Its a good time for my thoughts to run wild.. Think of all the negative stuff in life.. But I also promised myself not to bring those stuff out of the gym.. Dr Nevil had a guest speaker which took up most of our lesson.. I fell asleep during the important part and kept awake when he was promoting his university.. Then it was the dreaded meeting.. Turns out the actual meeting was to be after the AGM.. Lotsa people turned up.. In the end, all the union reps left and the meeting was called off.. Another total waste of time.. Should have went home early.. Well, I met Bernice outside the meeting and she told me about my blog.. Well, its linked up already Bernice!

The weekend tour guide job started.. I didn't look forward to it at first because I forgot everything at the briefing.. My first group was really bad.. I brought a bunch of 37 people in only to come out with 25.. the trip in was boring and I didn't do much.. Haiz.. I hardly interacted with the folks.. Only a few.. And they were kinda grumpy.. So I was tired and thanked god when I sent that bus out.. The second group was different though! They were such fun! A mix of chinese and malay GRC chairpeople.. This time I interacted mroe with them and had an easier time getting them to co-operate.. In the tour, Lendl shouted my name and the whole group heard it.. Then the malay auntie kept calling my name.. They also called me "yan dao" which meant handsome.. So all I needed to do was call out "Yan Dao Zhu" or "Handsome Group" and I'd get their attention! I took pictures with them, had jokes with the folks, and the bus I/C talked to me about poly life and attachment.. I was really happy and gave them my 100% in the tour, even doing in Chinese and English.. They came out happy and one of them praised me in front of Alvin and Xiang Ling when we were waiting for the bus.. They made my day..

I came home after going shopping with Vanessa (sushi girl) at AMK hub.. Didn't get what she came for but we had a really tough time deciding which route to take home.. Had to settle for MRT.. I got home in time to watch the Arsenal - Man U match.. Ended 2-2 after that last minute Arsenal goal... *Puke* Lucky asses.. Can't stand such luck, though Real Madrid benefited alot from it last season..

Today was a really early morning.. I got up at 5.30, like normal school days, to go to Bishan Park.. I was looking forward to another interesting group like yesterday's.. Well, I realised, it was up to us to make that happen.. The group came early and I had time to interact well with my group.. This first group called me "Handsome".. Then Lendl came around and tried to promote himself.. Then we agreed on me being "handsome" and him "yan dao".. I brought my group to sit while waiting and learnt a new "vocabulary" from the folks.. I laughed so much.. They were really a nice bunch and listened to me and whatever I said during the tour, though my chinese sucked cuz I didn't know how to translate the chim chim words" The group was disperesed when I made sure I had no one lost and only some went up the bus back to the CC.. I looked forward to the next group..

My next group didn't look much though.. But with the small introduction, they opened up and smiled more.. I got names like "ying jun" and "yan dao" after I told them my chinese name.. Then the oldest auntie stepped forward and said "si wen yan dao", which was the full meaning of my chinese name.. My group then had 2 names, either "si wen yan dao" or "ying jun yan dao".. LOL! The group was really nice to me, and me only.. They couldn't deal much with the slight jokes that the station masters tried to pull and kept saying so many things to disagree.. Their partners could only laugh at them while they had a hard time.. Contradicting to that, they listened well to what I said, and kept to their promise of not collecting their game prizes.. They stuck together throughout though I had to run back at times to get everyone back.. This group was special though.. On the way out, I stopped to let them get ice-cream.. They kept rejecting their offer of getting me one, but after I turned around and continued to lead them to the bus bay, I got a tap on my shoulder and I got a cup of ice-cream in front of me.. Well, as shy and pai seh as I was, I couldn't reject it since it was already bought.. Those I walked past were just "amazed" at my "fu qi".. SO PAI SEH LAH!!! I sent them off and this was yet another satified group I brought around with no one missing!

After the 2 groups, I went in with a few of the tour guides to go play around.. Hmm, I couldn't win any goodie bags or get any ballon scupltures, but had my share of craziness and fun inside.. In the end, we did go home with the goodie bags that were extra from the bus bay.. Went for Dr Kenny Yaw's lesson.. Had a slight misunderstanding with Alvin before that which saw him flare up for a few moments.. Sorry man.. Didn't mean it so harshly..

Well, I was happy the pass 2 days, not cuz of all the "yan dao" and "handsome" things.. Most people would puke at disgust when they know.. Ohh well, I do have some self-awareness people~ Just want to have a ball of a time when I doing such a fun job.. What I was really happy about was that I had fun and did my job well at the same time!

Hmm.. Its another rather busy week.. Lots of stuff to complete.. Hope I get to push back one or two datelines :p

2007-10-27T00:41:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to say about how I feel now... I've had quite a happy day today... Particularly because of the 1 day "exchange student"... But other than that, everything else is wrong! Just wrong!

Yesterday's training sucked... I thought I'd keep my form of counter tennis... Didn't work much... I started drills first because I happen to be on the court the coach was in... I tried to slack in terms of movement as much as I can so that I won't be too tired... When my drills were over, I went to the next court with Dominic to hit before we started a singles team match with two other girls... I was actually struggling to lift my racket! I guess the 3am sleep didn't do me good even though I woke up at 1... I was tired, and physical training made things worst... My arms are still aching now...

It was purely coincidental that i have my chance to have lunch and spend time with my friends during the break instead of with Jehanne today... I went to see my cell culture, and then went with Wen Xin to the animal room to help 2F07 clean their mice cage... We had fun, and then Steph and Chin Koon came... I took pictures with one of the mice as well as Danielle! Danielle is the mice that Nadj Alvin and I have for the Immuno practical...

Well, I guess the timings were just equally coincidental that everything went the other way round... Kept me quite down after lab... I didn't want to do much after that... Just wanted to make sure I get my lunch during the second break... Don't want to talk to anyone... Don't want to make anymore arrangements for the day... Just wanted to get things over and done with...

I decided to go back up to emart instead of hanging around the block 50 area or go to the library with Joanna... I went to pack my lunch, and saw that girl I wanted to get into the Belle and Beau competition... I got to her and got a no after I told her after what I wanted to say... I didn't want anymore trouble, so I guess I just gave up without trying to persuade her...

After lunch, Yew Jia came with a giant Pooh Bear... It was meant as a really-belated birthday gift for Janani... I played with it and gradually got happier and happier... Thanks to it, my spirits were lifted, and I laughed after 2 hours in the gloomy state... I brought it to lecture and dressed it with my IVP jacket and decided to call it IVPooh... It looked funny while I carried it from LSCT down to block 51... How silly I looked... I didn't mind... It made me happy, and I needed it to keep up that mood... Super cute thing... Joanna and I kept taking pictures of it in lecture... Including this one where it actually looked as though it was paying attention to Dr Nevil's lesson

Dr Nevil made me laugh throughout the lecture after he pronounced "Consanguineous" in a funny manner... I just had to burst out laughing everytime he said that word... (sorry sir!) Today was the fastest pace he has ever went during his lecture! Compared to the previous times, he'll do 6 slides in an hour!

I brought IVPooh to the GLs after lecture and gave it back to Yew Jia when I saw her outside with the other GLs... I just needed to wait for someone with the clubhouse key to get stuff out and then I can go home... I went down to canteen 1 with Jonathan and saw Mr President (Lucky!!)... I went to the clubhouse with his key and got Joanna her dinner before going back... I finally went home early (considered to be) this week! And jsut when I thought everything was alright, mum had to call and blast me for a dumb reason and gave a really stupid logic behind her scolding... I slept on the bus home... Just wanted the journey to end soon so I'd get my dinner...

Talking to Jehanne hasn't really been happy this while... I don't know if its me who can't put things to her clearly enough for her to understand, or that she's just acting blur and ignorant so she'd get my attention... I don't know what she's up to, but I'm dissapointed and just frustrated time and time again after I tried to let small matters rest... I'm not sure what to do... I won't mind if she wants small things her way, but I'm being stressed on the other side by my studies and my mum, and ESPECIALLY my mum... So when would it go my way? Would it ever?

2007-10-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

Almost a month since i updated... Lazy to... Dear updating it by tagging my board alot...

K, its past the holidays and into the 2nd week of school! New lecturers, very, very interesting ones... One of them is still very young at heart despite her age... So after the overseas training camp with the GLs (I'm proud of my Archilles!), it was normal training with added on "special menu" training for the GLs... New identities have been created in the camp, and I learned more about the personalities of more GLs... Better yet, one of the objectives of the camp was well met, which was to gel the GLs as a whole...

The GLs are hard at dance practice... VERY! They stop practice late and if the SGLs are not there to stop them, they might just go on and on... Haiz... Been returning late from school... I'm feeling really guilty of doing that... Training, meeting, going to their dance... Was really glad mum understood (i think) for the first week... But just yesterday, when I was about to doze off on the train, she called and blasted me over the phone with the same thing she said last year... Haiz... I tried my best already, but she isn't convinced I can handle my time! I am getting enough rest, and because of my timetable, I know when to get sufficient rest! Hard to put things across to her these few years... After her strict health discipline took shape, she turned rather inflexible... Haiz...

Dear and I celebrated our 2nd month last Saturday... Went back to PS again cuz of the cinema... Suprised she watched Resident Evil with me... It was a better present than the one she gave me! Was really happy she did that cuz she told me before she doesn't want to watch horror movies... I gave her the little pig this month... She always wanted a soft toy and she said those I had were cute... I thought I picked one with my taste and give it to her... She named it "xiao zhu zhu"

Today's training was "gay"... When I walked into the toilet to change, I saw one of my teamates... He wore our blue IVP jersey this year, the same shirt I brought for training! When we thought it was "gay" enough, another one of us walked in holding the same shirt! The three of us just turned and look at each other with stunned faces... Then I noticed that I buttoned one button, one of them two, and the last all 3! (No link, nvm......)

Irfan's training methods very new... What he gives is fairness, where everyone starts from scratch and make it to the 7... Though we're still speculating amongst each other, I still think its easy for things to change within the team... I'm getting used to the new balls, though what I could only do well today was counter tennis... I like my form, its getting better...

Lab now sucks... I've got lab all 4 days (excluding IS day) and almost all of them come with pre-lab quizes! Haiz... Its still quite managable now, but stress is piling up slowly...

I saw St Pat's students in LSCT today! Haha! One of the prefects actually remembered my name! Kinda shocked that they were here... First time they sent students to NP, what's more, LSCT... I saw Marcus in school too... He came to school saying he was late for his 9am lecture, when I was having an early break at 9.50! Also suprised his hair grew back so quickly! Stupid guy had to bet with his hair...

Well, now that school is started, I get to see dear alot... I still want to spend time with my friends too! Gotta manage time between the two... I'm trying hard guys! wait for me yea?

2007-09-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

Man U won last night! another 1-0 scoreline... should have been more, not only for Man U... But WHY DID ARSENAL AND LIVERPOOL DO THE SAME?! Anyway, that's not the point about mentioning the match... I got only 4 hours of sleep because of the match... I still got up... Mainly for that Mac's breakfast mum was going to bring me to... Heehee... The breakfast was big, cuz of the coupon mum used...

I'm still suprised I woke up early and fresh in the morning and didn't fall asleep! Was going to a special, large scale and grand NDT (New Distributor's Training)... Its my third time attending this training... It's expected bah, to keep going... Helps you keep your drive and do a refresher course... What's more, today's speakers were all of top-class! Including a "idol" Danny Wong... Really funny lorh... Professor Kenny Yaw came back too... Shows how grand this event is... The bonus speakers who came back were all also highly achieved!

I thought we'd be given Mac's of KFC for lunch but it was a buffet style lunch! The food was really great too, exept for the dry glutinous rice...

At the end of the training, we joined up with Sylvia's group for an after meeting session... They were pulling up the "freshies" to talk about our feelings of training, sorta like a debriefing in GLs... Talk about our targets and ask us questions... I got to go up and share after Sylvia... The "host" didn't know my name but he knew that I was my mum's son... So he called me up by "Lena de er zi" (Lena's son)...

I went back happy... Most probably because of the sharing, and how much I want to do the job better... Took Ryl out to play soccer later in the evening... Even my free kicks were better today... Meant to be a good day I suppose?

2007-09-26T01:50:00.000+08:00

Rah Rah RAAAAAHHHHHH! I WANNA PLAY TENNIS!!! Bored to death... I need to find a reason to use my racket... Any reason! Wanted to go play after training later but after checking NPal, there's no courts available... Wonder who plays tennis at that time... Hmm, just begging for anyone, ANYONE who can play... Desperate to play... Can't believe I'm saying this...

Today's Elysyle Make-up launch was great! Though I can't really use what I learnt there on myself, its still nice to learn how to do it properly... Girls should have went, cuz there was a part where they thought on how to do make-up properly... Saw Sylvia on stage as one of the models... She looked great! Sorta knew she would be one of the models when they said that the models were people from the company... Then stayed there super long after that cuz mum wanted to listen to the after event talk...

I went jogging yesterday... Think I was a little tired, maybe sick... So bad, my balance was really off... On top of that, I had my weights on my left ankle... Felt really funny, like I would fall to one side easily... In the end, the weights trained my right leg instead cuz I was using it alot to "keep balance"... Tiring, on top of that, was so tired I couldn't do a single pull up... And I realised that I've underestimated the distance of the park connector that I jogged... LOL! So blind, got the distance markers there also didn't see...

I seriously need to learn wrapping properly... I wrapped up something for dear and I think its kinda untidy... :P

RAHH! Tennis! I wanna play tennis! Despo here, calling out to anyone who can play or wants to learn how to play!

2007-09-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my first month anniversary with Dear... went out with her to PlazaSing and Cathay...

We pushed back our meeting time cuz she needed to take her blood type test and I woke up late... Hehe... Couldn't wait to see her... I finished preparing the present the night before... After so many failed attempts, I finally used whatever I bought to make something nice for her...

We met up at Dohby Gaught (however it is spelled) MRT... Then thought of going to Cathay to get movie tix first but changed over to PS in the end... then dear gave me her present and I gave her part 1 of mine... We had lunch at long john's after buying movie tickets for underdog... There wasn't anything much to watch anyway and had to decide between that and "I now pronounce you (don't know what) and harry"... We walked around PS and saw couple rings at a shop called "couple lab"... They had lotsa nice rings and gave engravings on it... We couldn't decide in time so we left it to after the movies to look again...

Went in to the cinema and is was kinda empty... Well, it wasn't a show many people would watch bah... When we sat down, I gave dear part 2 of the present... The armrest could be lifted up so I got to enjoy the movie with dear leaning against me! Heehee...

After the movie, we went back to the ring shop to look at the rings again... Dear seemed to like the rings alot... We went to both the couple labs and the kept showing us the sliding ring which showed two names next to a stone or smtn... We still couldn't decide so we went to the shop at Cathay to look... We shopped around Cathay till we reached the shop... We still couldn't fancy anything there, so we went back to couple lab to look again...

This time, dear decided on the shifting ring which would form a heart when rotated properly... Mine would show "Jehanne <3 Donald" and hers would be the other way round... We also engraved the date we got together on the inside... Makes it that much special... We went to have dinner while waiting for the engraving to be ready...

We collected our rings at 8pm

I put on her ring for her and she did for me too

We spent our time outside PS... Couple stuff... Heehee... Then under an empty night sky I gave her the third part of the present... Well, it had something to do with stars, obviously... Then we took more photos... Took quite afew cuz we weren't satisfied with alot of shots... My phone batt almost died by the end of the day...

I sent dear to Raffles Place MRT after that... She purposely missed the train there so we could spend time together... So sweet of her...

I openned her present at home... Got these:

Big Hearts with short messages behind them... Too shy to show what they read behind...

Small hearts

Folded hearts

An iron-on bead figure, an anniversary card which had a long message written inside, and her NP name card... There were a total of 42 hearts, including the 2 she sticked on the box which contained all these... I love all of them... It was quite an effort to do all these... Most of all, love the messages she wrote... They were really meaningful to me...

I could only go home a happy man... Though its only a month, it made a significant mark in my heart... Love what she has done for me the past 31 days, and how special she made them... It feels we can go on for a much, much longer time... I love this girl! And I can't wait for what's installed for us in the future!

2007-09-16T22:43:00.000+08:00

It's a long time since I posted... I'd been too lazy i guess... Doubt i'll remember much about the week ago... Just start from the SGLs chalet bah...

Neh neh! I wasn't drunk lah! Was just tired from not enough sleep and the alcohol just aided me into lalaland... Fell asleep on the couch... And my butt hurt from all that bike-riding-errands that I had to do... But it was fun... At least I got to help out in as many ways as I could... After all, its all SGLs there... Its our nature to be proactive and get involved... I ate alot at the BBQ and watched alot of movies over those 3 days... Then it was so good after I got home and got a nice long sleep...

GLs have started the full campus already, though I didn't expect it to come so soon... So have the punishments... They are hanging on 60 push-ups now, but I doubt they wanted to clear any after a long day of games... Freakin (didn't mean it in a bad way) mass game ended at 5.30! Some were rushing to work, some to go home, and some to chalet... Woohoo... I found that the time management was good, just that we over-enjoyed the mass game... Then I had a quick shower after I brought some logistics back to the clubhouse... Dear went to the pharmacy science chalet to have her fun... Then it was meeting already! We pushed back the meeting by 15 minutes though the seniors came back in time... First time I get to chair meeting for the club... Just glad that I didn't drag it, but it actually ended earlier then usual... Things were fast and the senior's price for the camp was resolved back to normal! Then it was a nice dinner at KFC... I ate alot bah... The extra 2 drumlets were quite filling and were very spicy!

I slept really long... Too tired from the previous day... Dear didn't sleep much the night before... She still insisted that we go out after I met up with the I&E guy... He was kinda like waste of time lah, but it was kinda necessary I guess, since he needed committed people... I've yet to reply to his email... Went with Alvin, Nadj and Joel to play pool while I wait for dear... Sheesh, my pool sucks now... Then my last game was some sidespin battle between me and Alvin... Just to practice using sidespin in a real game bah...

Went to JEC with Dear... Had lunch and ice cream with her... My lip still hasn't recovered, so I was happy to get small pecks of love from dear... Took a really long bus ride home after dear dropped off...

Results were out on Friday... Mine were sorta dissapointing for my expectations bah... I thought I would get an A for stats but only managed a B+... Worst off, my INAC was a freakin C+! Haiz... I'd let go of the stats if my INAC was a B... At least my GPA would still look a little nice... Dear did really well... She's hardworking bah, aiming for a 4... Her IS pulled it down...

I got a maid today... Turns out the agent was Wei San's uncle... I was the one who answered the door... Then he asked me if I was "San San's" classmate... I was kinda confused a while before I realised who he was referring to... The maid's name is Claire, and she's a cousin of Wei San's maid I think... Her cooking is good, especially the vegetables... Now mum has more time ler, and is less irritated when Ryl asks her alot of questions...

Today I got to go out with dear! Well, so did Arfah (Nerwin freshie) and her boyfriend... We shopped for our necklace straps early bah... Supposed to do it on our 1 month anni date... Nvm, at least we get to wear it on that day...

The pendant is actually a gift from Alvin and Charmaine when they he went over to Australia... Thanks guys! We stopped off at a few 7-elevens and cheers to get Yingli the gummy bears I owe her... Then Arfah and her bf went off from centre point... Dear and I went to Taka to look for Darren and Yingli...

I passed Darren his elcafe and Yingli her gummy bears... Now i still got the breakfast i owe her... Hang around outside the event place that the two of them were at to wait for Yingli to come back from her dinner... We took a few pics as well to entertain ourselves...

Then after a short talk, I sent dear down to Raffles Place before I took the other way back home...

Hmm, tmr still got the class bbq... We're having fun even discussing the buylist... We laugh at each other alot, especially the phone call with Qing Ling just now... Her sis was shouting lotsa comments in the background... I just laughed at all of them... :p

2007-09-01T01:46:00.000+08:00

Wee! I got to meet dear! And we went out on our first date!

I went to collect my clubhouse key today... Met Wan Hua at the bus stop and we walked in to school together... She asked me if my knees still hurt... Guess her's was still bothering her... Then I saw Yong Qing at the canteen too, but I din't go over to say hi and just went up to SDAR...

Thought I got a nice golden key, but turns out i took me quite an effort to open the lock while I couldn't lock it back! Then the clerk came over and tested it out till she finally admitted the key wasn't duplicated well...

Met dear after she submitted her essay... Hope she gets her award! She kept to her words and greeted me with a kiss! We went down to Cine after lunch... Went around to look for a present for Godpa after getting tix for the 3pm Ratatouille... We got quite a few stuff... One is a 2 piece key chain I bought for her...

I got another 365 day bear for dear which marks the day we were together... Considered a belated birthday gift? Haha... Whichever she sees it as... :p I got a card and a 365 day pig for Godpa... Yet to do it up... Maybe after this post...

Walked back to Cine at around 2.45... Then dear and I went immediately when seating began to have some quiet time alone in the cinema before the movie started... heehee... Dear... I enjoyed my time inside with dear in my arms...

Then after the movie, we din't have plans till she had to go home and I had to head down to Elken... We sat out side the theatres to have more time alone... Then took a few pictures again

Muacks dear!

We went to take the train to where we wanted to go to... I still couldn't get enough of her... A day couldn't make up for those 6 days without her... I watched her till the train went out of the station... Then I saw Alvin when I went to the next level to take the train down to Aljunied... Lucky guy... He's going to aussie tmr to see Charmaine! Enjoy your time dude!

I was really tired today... Prolly from the late night... Or the... heehee... time with dear... I dozed off quite a few times... So happened mum saw the background pic on my phone of me and dear snuggling... She didn't say anything till on the way back... Then I just admitted to her... I'm happy! Really happy! She didn't object to us! She also said dear was a nice girl! Luckily they met her that time... Think my dad was alright with it too, though he doesn't know much... Then mum told me they kinda thought there was something between dear and me since that night... Doesn't matter now! I've got what I wanted already! I'm so happy today! Can't sleep!

2007-08-31T11:56:00.000+08:00

Camp is Over! Which marks the end of Learning to Lead! Wee!!!

The camp started out bright and sunny... Met Wei San, Pei Fen, Rui Xiang and Wan Hua at the MRT to walk to the camp centre together... Then got a sweet for being early =.=

Then we checked in with the director, Lai, or something like that... He's a friendly guy and he told us the training centre was his dream, including the high elements structure which he designed himself! Then after checking in, we started off with our first lessons at the centre! I felt weird when I saw Sheena, our trainer... She's kinda young, and looks really spunky with her bright fringe... I thought it was funny that something so serious was to be conducted by someone so young... Turned out she was energetic yet passionate about teaching about leadership... She knows her stuff! Then during the first game, I was split into a seperate group from my LSCT peeps! Got stuck with a group of mass comm people who have their own world going... Luckily I still know Wan Hua there, not so lonely... Then our facilitator Ian came to do some ranking exercises with us after a few lessons... I got positive and negative answers from the rankings... I agreed, cuz I didn't really speak out much... I felt uncomfy to be with them on the first day, but I was given the chance to voice out my feelings... Somehow, I felt accepted into them... It was special though... When Amelia told me about her reasons for ranking me... I didn't know she'd take notice... But it was good encouragement to really perform in this team... Then I read all of Dear's messages during dinner time and even called her up just to hear her voice... The day ended on a low note, with a small reflection within the team... It felt great... I wanted to do better the next day! Everyone mistook the essay assessment to be on the next day so we stayed up to study till quite late... Talked to dear while studying, so I didn't really study...

The second day felt better... It was meant to be a more physical day, with the practical exam and the seemingly ending ring toss game... My knees are still kinda aching from that game... Can't walk down stairs comfortably... Then I thought my practical assessment cuz my partner hogged the debriefing part alot... Sucks man... But i still played out the game, cooperated and gave my team my full... That's what Amelia and I learned from each other on giving in our 100%... She was my learning buddy this camp... We learnt alot from each other... The station games ended on a high note... We managed to get all 20 people over the high wall! There was such a celebration, John and Ian (the module leaders) got drinks for us to celebrate! The night was also on a high... It was the end of the camp programme, and what's left was the essay the next morning... We did acknowledgement (or affirmation as I'd like to call it) with "gems"... It was great to here the words from the people themselves than the notes... They had a greater impact!

Then we stayed up to study again... I talked to dear a while but she fell aslp... Poor ger... Must be tired after doing her hair modelling the past few days... She spent full days out at holland v, but she looks really great now! my dear...

The last day was unexpectedly long... I took the paper in the morning, and the "Iron Man" was telling us before about all don't study and get average results, so we'll all get A's after moderation... Wonder how he did... Then the camp closing was long... but we got a really nice gift! I went out with a few peeps for lunch at the kallang prata house... ROCKS man! I couldn't tahan, so after our last goodbyes, headed straight home for the sacks! Woke up only at 10pm to ask dear out on our first date! Heehee... And I gotta get the new clubhouse keys in school... Heehee... First time I'll see dear again after so long!

2007-08-27T22:41:00.000+08:00

Days without dear have really been going bad... It always starts on a high note, but drops really badly, probably cuz i always feel insecure not having her for so long...

I'm already missing her on Saturday even though I went to school to spend that short amount of time with her on Friday... I even thought we weren't talking enough to each other...

The learning to lead module started today... It was really boring at times, but had to show some enthusiasm in it also... Then Denyse got bored and "screamed" on my paper... I just added some stuff to it and it turned out:

Then it was lunch time... I msged dear immediately when we got out of the room... I miss her! I miss her like crazy! I want her in my arms again, but i'll have to make do with what I have now: the handphone... I didn't get her message as I'd hope, not during the whole hour... I started thinking more and more after that... Am I being fooled with today? Even the noodle stall auntie had to upset my lunch by giving me a totally different order... I went back to continue the lesson without talking to dear...

Throughout the lesson, I was just drawing and drawing on almost all of my notes...

again...

and again...

...and again

I left my handphone in my jacket pocket, and I didn't want to take it out cuz the room was really quiet... Will reflect badly on me as well, since I already wasn't myself today...

It was only after class that I saw the 2 messages from dear... They weren't much, just to tell me where she was... I replied, thinking she'll be available for me again... Went to block 1 cuz Wei San needed to submit stuff, then went to KAP for early dinner... I want Dear! She still hasn't replied... I only had my phone's background picture to look at...

Dear's message came when we finished eating... By then, I was already feeling sad... Our timing was really off today I guess... We weren't with our phones when the other replied... And only exchanged a few messages... Then I started doubting her, and had lots of silly thoughts... I think I'm expecting too much out of our relationship at this point of time, and I'm hurting her in the process... I'm sorry dear...
Forgive me... I'm also largely at fault, and I shouldn't have put you through so much pain... I shouldn't have caused all these for you, you didn't deserve it...

Things are alright now I guess... I've learnt to treasure her more through this incident... She still does feel sad, over something else... Just wanna say I still love her just as much, and i'll protect her heart as much as possible...

2007-08-24T09:43:00.000+08:00

Hoy hoy~! Exams are over! Here comes my 1 month++ break! Yay yay yay!

Dear still has another paper now... All the best dear! Jia You! I'm cheering deep in my heart for you! Poor ger... Stayed up so late and woke up so early this morning to study...

Was supposed to send Ryl to school today... Then auntie Irene offered to give us a lift... Heehee... But i still gotta go pick up the kid later... That's what she's been looking forward to all week... Haha...

Studied in the library before the paper yesterday... I went back to the same spot... But it was so different... So empty... cuz' Dear was not there with me this time...

I couldn't understand HPLC... Stupid topic which I just gave up on... Quite some marks on that topic... Threw alot of it away... Stupid INAC...

Went for a jog this morning... Kinda expected I'll "peng after 2.4"... Nvm, slowly train up... And train up a nicer body for Dear to hug... heehee... Then I did 2 sets of 5 pull-ups, and played soccer! Woohoo! Aiya, aiming still so lousy... Now left leg kick better than right leg...

Did this for dear last night:

This was before I wrote my stuff onto it... Heehee... Shy, don't wanna show what I worte... Its for Dear's eyes only... Supposed to give her the day when we first went for ice-cream together... Going to go to school now... To give dear this and suprise her for after her paper... Spend 2 hours with her before I have to go back and pick up the short kid... I just wanna hug and kiss her again before I'll miss her for over a week... Dear, 我来了!

2007-08-23T03:39:00.000+08:00

Foofoo~ MBC paper wasn't much like the first 2 papers... Haiz... It was all do-able, but my memory failed me in amino acids again... Lost the question there... Other then that, I'd have to thank god (and Dr Ooi) for reducing my marks lost by alot... and Dear's early morning good luck message... Silly girl, wake up so early to wish me luck...

Went to meet dear to spend time with her and study with her... Instead of going down to KAP, we spent time at the same spot in the library again...

We didn't have lunch... Guess the company of her was enough already... It was more than enough! We didn't study much... Too much distractions (of each other) already...

Today will be the last time I get to see her until 2 weeks later... I'll miss her... Miss her like crazy... Whispered sweet words into each other's ear... And her kisses... She always makes me feel so well loved... Love you dear~ We spent time taking pictures too... Though its at the same place again, at least we're happier with the pictures...

~i'll miss her~

~I feel so lucky~

~I'm loved~

We shared a sandwich before we left school... Luckily she stays near and her dinner would be brought back soon... Sent her home again, but didn't walk her to the lift cuz of reasons today... Made sure she got home safely before I walked back...

Took a bus down to Dover to take a train home... Guess who I saw? Tan Eng Tai! The entertainment dare devil from my secondary school grad night! Haha... He hasn't changed much... Got the slooooooooooow........ look... :p... Then we talked about lotsa nonsensical (actually it was just him lah) stuff on the train...

Hmm, after sleeping for 5 hours, guess my batteries are half-recharged... Gonna continue staying up to finish studying... Sorry to make you worry Dear... *plants a kiss on your lips*... Promise I'll give you all my attention after tommorow... And jia you for your last paper! Study hard!

2007-08-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

Its the exam period already... At this point of time last semester, i was near heartbroken, full of confidence, and watching soccer and not studying for my exams... I've fallen hard from all those... And I'm finally awake enough to be trying to make up for all those grades from last semester... I'm awake for real this time...

The study week passed quickly and normally... With a few events leading up to this

I love her... Absolutely do... Love the way she fits so well in my arms, the way our lips connect... I wanna thank her for giving me as well as herself the chance to experience love all over again... Love you dear... You're my source of motivation to do everything...

~Donnie and Jyan~ 21/08/07

2007-08-12T01:21:00.000+08:00

hmm, one more week closer to the exams... at least i've kicked off a teeny bit... nothing much to say about the week... been sneaking out and around after school... doing badly in tests... haiz... wake up call staring in my face: 31.5/60...

i fell ill at some point this week... really ill... fever, headache, stomach pain, weakness... i slept a total of 12 hours, almost straight and puked 4 times to get it cured... i still woke up with abit of a headache the next day... it was only the puke in the afternoon that i felt better... dad offered to drive me to school when he saw me so sick the day before... it was really long ago since he drove me to school... i was so happy, especially since it was the last day before he will leave singapore...

i went out after school on that day... then while i was at an interesting shop, Jehanne helped me pick a present for my dad... it would well replace the original present i couldn't do in time for him... then after i left the group, Jehanne and i couldn't decide on where to go... so we took a little bus ride all the way down to boon lay... we walked around jurong point a while till i had to leave for meeting...

geez, i was late for meeting... then gena the $2 late fine... ooh well... during the meeting, mum msg to tell me we'd go out for a nice dinner before dad leaves the next day... i left the meeting when it was juz being dragged on...

we went to tiong bahru plaza to have sushi! haha... seems dad missed it... when we got there, it was full, and we had to wait for a table... then the manager told us that their last order would be at 9.30... it was 9.10 by the time we got in... haiz, my fault for coming out so late... luckily my family had eaten abit before coming out, or i'll feel worst... my appetite recovered during the meeting... just during the morning, i puked out my breakfast during the break, and couldn't eat more than a subway sandwich for lunch... yay... think dad was happy to see me all well...

dad left the next day... it didn't seem much at first... only when the time drew nearer that i started feeling sad and remourse... remourse for not spending enough time with him... i gave him the presents before we stepped out of the house, but he only saw it in the car... when he walked through the depature gate, i held my tears back strongly... it wasn't as bad as the last time, but there were still some pain in my heart... i almost cried when mum passed me the tissue... i still pushed it away and said "i'll pass"... it would be at least till December that i'll get to see him again... this time, i'll be going over...

2007-08-12T00:33:00.000+08:00

List out your top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:

ONE - Dad to be safe overseas
TWO - Change 2 new tennis rackets
THREE - Make GLs a truely a big family
FOUR - Do well in studies
FIVE - Find love (hmm?)

Answer the following questions.
1.(the person who tag you is ...)
Jehanne and Yingli

2.(your relationship with him/her is ...)
Juniors and friends

3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..)
Jehanne: 1. Lively 2. Fun loving 3. Caring 4. Lovely 5. Smart
Yingli: 1. High 2. Active 3. Caring 4. Nosey 5.Stubborn

4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you)
Jehanne: Went to my award ceremony
Yingli: Bought me breakfast

5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you)
Uhh... Geez... There's too many from either...

6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..)
hmm, if either of them, deffinitely love'em with my whole heart (well, what else?!)

7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
Jehanne: Be more decisive
Yingli: Stop being so stubborn

8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...)
Err, nothing? They are both my good GLs

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...)
Misunderstanding

10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...)
Jehanne: Have ice cream and time out alone
Yingli: Make sure she gets sleep and bring breakfast when she wakes up

11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...)
If in one word,
Jehanne: Sweet
Yingli: Friend-centered

12.(how you think people around you will feel about you?)
Blur but smart (which i'm proving otherwise)

13.(the character you love of yourself are ...)
Sporty and fun-loving

14.(on the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are ...)
Lazy

15.(the most ideal person you want to be is ...)
I'm ok with myself

16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ..)
I'm here to always lend a listening ear...

17.(pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. Alvin
2. Steph
3. Nadjmi
4. Jehanne
5. Jessica Khek
6. Wei San
7. Felicia
8. Yingli
9. Joanna
10.Charmaine

11.(who is no.6 having relationship with?)
ehh... no one... YET... :p

12.(Is no.9 a male or female?)
female

13.(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)
er... hm... ah... eh... geez, dat wld be horrible, especially for number 1

14.(How about no.8 and 5?)
but they dont know each other!

15.(What is no.2 studying about?)
molecular biotechnology

16.(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?)
online, dat's kinda long... but we always talk in school... my ah bang leh...

17.(What kind of music band does no.8 like?)
hmm... chinese pop if not wrong

18.(Does no.1 has any siblings?)
an elder sister

19.(Will you woo no.3?)
chh.. chotto!!! i'm not gay!

20.(How about no.7?)
she's attached!

21.(Is no.4 single?)
Uh huh...

22.(What's the surname of no.5?)
Sheesh... coincedence made this qn redundant... Khek...

23.(What's the hobby of no.4?)
Hmm, skating i think, hanging out in the forum, dance, abit of games...

24.(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?)
they dont even know each other..

25.(Where is no.2 studying at?)
ngee ann poly

26.(Talk something casually about no.1)
ehh, "Vege wuss..."

27.(Have you try developing feelings for no.8?)
lol... no...

28.(Where does no.9 live at?)
geez, i dunnoe... hougang izzit?

29.(What color does no.4 like?)
ehh, white?

30.(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)
nope... they never even seen each other b4

31.(Does no.7 likes no.2?)
tsk... they're both attached...

32.(How do you get to know no.2?)
orientation camp

33.(Does no.1 have any pets?):
nope...

34.(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?)
*drops on the floor laughing*

2007-08-04T01:39:00.000+08:00

One week of real fun I guess... Nothing beats having this week, especially when its the time where I get to enjoy before the exams... 4 straight days.... 4 straight days! which nut did this to us?!

That aside, I'm happy for this week, but would have been happier if not for the tests... I've lost quite some sleep... My friends have played a beuatiful part in balancing it all off...

Now, Monday was totally off... Had the dumb practical test for stats... Luckily I was able to get through it... I agree with Nikki though, about being able to do the questions by refering to the book... It was just a matter of whether the answers were correct...

Tuesday was something I was looking forward to since last month... Dad's vacation back from work overseas makes him available for my awards night... I'd really like him to be proud of me for something, and here's a way to prove it: to be in a team that's strong enough to win the gold medal in tournaments and receive full colours award from the school... Yup, though I didn't play a vital part in the team, I'm still think that being able to make it in proves something, and I hope Dad gets it... Jehanne was a last minute suprise to the day when she decided to come for the event... After the late INAC test, I went back up to LSCT to meet her n get changed for the event... Stupid Derric forgot my medal even though he knew I was going for this event... Tsk... Sad thing about the event is, I didn't get to see Steph dance! Never seen her hardwork pay off... Haiz... And the dumb ceremony waste alot of our time lah... If they just wanna mention those super winners they could at least let the rest of us sit and watch till they need us on stage... At least the food made up for most of it though... I went around with Jehanne taking desert after I got my cert and finished my dinner... Gosh the fondue was great! Heehee... Then it was home to rush out and study for MOBio test...

Haiz, I feel asleep after reading only reading the first lecture that was being tested... Migrated from my table to the bed and eventually dozed off... Woke up the next morning LATE and panicking... Was able to devote all my time in the bus to studying the other lecuture, but was only able to do selective reading on the practical chapters... Luckily, luck was on my side (after being blessed with so much for this test)... The chapters I read came out, but my answers were just loads of crap... Just lifted from what I remember... Then while Alvin went out to AMK, I went out of school as well for ice-cream! Heehee... I sorta promised Jehanne to go for it someday... So yup... Then I had to rush back for lecture... Not really lecture, but a movie screening... So long larh! Eat into the SGLs briefing then I was late... GL training wasn't much either today, but they kicked of abit of PT... Some stuff went wrong and hopefully we'll take note of it the next training...

Woohoo! No school! And I'm free to go catch a movie! The Simpsons! LOL... Hilarious! Can laugh non stop for the first 45minutes! Thank gdness they blended in abit of seriousness in it, but you know, it THE SIMPSONS!! So good I could enjoy it with friends! Good laughs... Then it was back to school for 2 meetings... Briefing for the Learning to Lead module was supposed to be short but the stupid guy dragged... Then me and Xiang Ling got lost trying to find the room the SU meeting was held... Luckily we didn't miss much... The meeting wasn't much... Looked like blind voting to me... It was the end where they brought up a few "sensitive" issues that was concerning... Won't say much...

The school week ended off with only 4 hours of lessons... Then I had the company of Alvin and Nadj for pool... Haiz, realised that the longer I played, the worst my form drops... Still, it was fun... Then I went back to eMart... Saw that I still had so much time that I watched POT again! :P... Then Jehanne came over to join me... I didn't know she watched the human-acted series before, but it must be weird if I watch it now... Till 7, I finally left school for Elken... Wah boring lah... Was looking forward to the speech by the guest speaker... Turns out to be almost uneffective...

Well, it doesn't look like anywhere near studying mood for me... I'm already celebrating after 3 tests!

I've still yet to get something for Dad though, and I regreted not taking a family pic at the awards night... Would have been a perfect gift for what I've been planning so far...

2007-07-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

Day 2 after Dad got back... Nothing much changed... I couldn't go out cuz of the upcoming test (what timing)... Well, mum and dad did spend time out together though... NOt bad lah...

Foofoo... Tests arh... tests arh... 3 in a row... Time to get serious, but never seem to be able to do that... Still played half the day away...

2007-07-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

Hmm, the last of the relaxing weeks is over... Still, its tiring, but worth the rewards at the end of the week...

Freakin' trainings have been cancelled over and over again... I'd bet that my tennis is really horrid right now... Shit man... Still, word came just now that we've managed to defend our title... Well, not a great deal as to what I felt in year 1, but I thoroughly don't deserve to take the medal... I didn't wanna go for it, and further more, I had something else on... Wonder what Fred sees in this, honestly...

Damn, I fell asleep in Choy's lecture again! There goes another chapter which I haven't listened much to... Don't know what I'm gonna do... Thank god his test is based on the practical stuff...

Alvin has now joined Elken at last... After all the time when I told him about it... He went for his first talk at the company today... I didn't have much to show him as the office were mostly under renovations... Only place he could rate was the toilet (C- was what he gave)... But it was fun to have another person to listen to the talks with... Makes me more motivated to bring more people into the company...

The first training has kicked off... The turnout wasn't that good though, due to all those who were or are taking test during that time... Almost half didn't turn up... Disappointing, that's what I think, but non the less, couldn't expect much... There was fun for the training though... Some GLs were still a little rowdy on their attitude, some over powering, and some couldn't seem to bother... Well, probably cuz' of the discipline I guess... Wouldn't be fair to expect more either... Hopefully the next training and those during the holidays would pull things together... Still, it was worth it to have the SGLs interact and know more year 1s than those from their FOC group... As for the SGLs though, time to get our act up... Think we need to be showing enthusiasm and activeness if we want to expect the same from the GLs...

I&E is over... I thought I was really sloppy though... I wasn't myself at the presentation, and when given feedback on our group, proved to be the worst of them all... Haiz... Should have been more prepared, like I let down my group... If it had been a graded module, I would have felt more guilty... Worst still, I only answered 1, out of the many questions posted during the Q and A... I felt like I didn't do enough for my project... Disappointing again...

Dad's home! My head was beaming towards the door of the event hall when it was 8... Yup, wide smile was painted on straight away when I saw him walk into the hall with the system wear on... It's been awhile... I gave him a "half hug" when he walked over... I'm convinced that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"... Man, I miss him!

Seems he has been to see my grandma as well as eat local food... We even bought back quite some food after we left the office... I'm sure he would have missed them... Then I wanted to introduce him to Darren and Alvin, but he walked away when I was about to do so...

What still bothers me though, is that even though he's back, he has been acting as though he hasn't been gone at all... He didn't seem interested in talking to me or find out how I've been doing so far, especially when I'm the one who talks to him the least during the time he was away... Disappointing though... I even had to be the one to start topics and would only get short answers from him... Totally the opposite from what I'v been anticipating about all week, but I'll still try to make the most of it during this 2 weeks...

I'm hit with quite a number of misunderstandings this week... I don't want to argue, or try to reason with my friends... Even though they meant it as jokes or teases 75% of the time, but I know I won't be able to rebute against them... They'll just gang up together and continue... I just hope that they'd get to see things in the light soon... I'd graciously let people pull jokes or ridicule at me if I know what they say are factual, but not something that's not... I know I'm not good enough to prove myself to all my friends...

I'm sobbing and sad, though it seems only the nicest of things have happened to me this week... I can't care much about the thing that has bogged me since last Saturday... Its good its not as registered in my mind as last Saturday, but I got refreshed at the sight of it... Man it hurts abit, but yea, trying to wriggle out...

2007-07-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

Ok, here's the catch: I submitted to the worst, but FATE!!!! You didn't have to rub more salt on!

I've got nothing to say about someone, but I've lost the war before I even fired a single bullet... Tough luck... Guess it was checkmate from the beginning...

K, I intended to finish up all the tutorials before heading out to training today, but Derric sent an sms in the dying hours of last night saying that training would only be for the selected members, and guess what, I'm not included! Aww come on! Aren't I even part of the team?! I know that I'm not gonna play, but what about working with and pushing each other as a team? I'm in the main 11 for a reason, or else they wouldn't even need 11!

On the bright side, there's more to look forward to then standing by the sidelines this week...

GL training is going to begin... Looks like the freshies are enthusiastic, well, a majority of them... So many of them have already registered in the forum... I hope it means "ready to commit"... Hope training doesn't scare them (oops)

Dad's gonna come back to Singapore! It'll be the first time I'll see him in person after 8 months! And he's gonna come back in time to attend the A&A night! Heard he's using glasses already... Heehee, dad, you're old! Hmm, I hope to have at least one family outing with him during his 2 week stay, and give him something nice to bring back as well... Sadly though, I won't be able to go pick him up from the airport...

The end of I&E is near! That is, if everyone finished all the reports and reflections and stuff... Then I'll have one or two Thursdays free! Can go for Dr Choy's make up class... Would be better than making wasteful trips to and fro to school...

The dumb tournament is gonna be over as well! Friday would be the crunch match against TP... Like last year, they are our last opponent... Hope we walk into the match with a hope of getting gold... If all goes smoothly for this week, I wouldn't mind the shitty few weeks I went through...

2007-07-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

An interesting 5 days have passed... Some matters in my head resolved, doubts answered, and I've got nothing to say but submit fully, on my knees with hands raised... Fate, you win...

What seems now that Steph is really ok with everything, though its kinda late for me to realise it now, I'm happy that nothing's changed, and we can still joke around well... Huge sigh of a relief there...

My CCT didn't look as bad as I expected... I decided to go for the earlier session and give up some revision time... At least I left for the tournament without a heavy mind...

There were supposed to be 3 presentations this week... So far, I've only cleared one, another which is done, and the last, well, converting my report into slides... Ok, simple enough, but with 2 tutorials to do, a new game which I have to play catch up to my friends because I'm still really noob at it, and a weekend to catch up on rest, it looks kinda tight on time now...

I went to both matches on Monday and today... I thought it was really unecessary to field a full line-up against ITE, though it wast thought to be a tough match... We still handed out a 5-0 win, with 2 comfortable 9-0 wins... I really thought I could make my POL-ITE debut there, but guess not...

RP must really be feeling happy now, having won us both in men's and lady's tournament 3-2... Really good effort to all players today... This was the first time I felt the tension of the tournament... The bigger problem now, is the next match... I won't say anymore, just in case team secret gets out...

I had a talk with Robin when he gave me a lift home... I've found the missing puzzle to my biggest doubt; why was I not able to play again this year... Simple: I'm not consistent in producing wonderful shots, and that's why Stan doesn't want to field me in the line-up... Ok, I'm a lousy player, not experienced enough for matches, obviously don't make the cut, and don't belong in the team... Haiz... Well, the whole lousy package... I admit now: I SUCK AT TENNIS!!!

Still, something else remains... And I'd really like an answer... Maybe I'm too optimistic, or I was probably aiming too high in the first place... Think I should just give up on the prospect of any hopes before I'm thrown into sadness again...

2007-07-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

Things don't seem to make sense to me... What the hell is happening to my life?!

The aftermath of selecting the instructors doesn't look all that ok... I just wanna thank my friendship with alvin wasn't affected, and I'm really proud of him for taking things well... Its better that he's still enthusiastic to come back... On the other hand, I know Steph is not happy at all with the result... I tried avoiding telling her about the results, but it had to be said when Alvin asked about the results... Steph was kinda sour on Friday then... She hardly looked at me when we were at the emart and when 3 of us (Nadj Alvin and me) met her going to SIM... Haiz... Hong Kai warned me about this the night before, and I chose not to take his words seriously... Worst of, she could joke and laugh with XL during lecture while I had this to take...

I thought it blew over when I saw her at the emart... We could laugh and joke, sit next to each other and take turns playing games after school... My perception changed after I read her blog... She's still bothered about it... I really don't know what I'm to do... My head would be on the chopping block soon, I think...

I saw Sylvia at the event on Friday... She sat down and had a chat with me and Darren... Turns out she and Darren were classmates back in kindergarden and live really close to each other! Small world... At the end of the event, my mum had to come and shoot off her mouth... Think it offended Sylvia a little... Hope she doesn't mind or think too much about it...

I did a little community service yesterday... It lasted longer than I expected though, but the organization people were really nice, they fed us food and drinks and I didn't feel hungry at all, not until I reached home... Man, I regretted only packing one box of Nasi Lemak home... But it was great! The changed after the paint job was great!

Before

After

Haiz, I think I wasted time today worrying and thinking of performing well at training... I got there, so eager and rearing to go and prove myself... Before training, Irfan even gave a talk about the NYP match and talked about how future line-ups can be, after he watched every school play last week... I thought my chances of playing were given a new life when he mentioned me as a possible player for the second doubles... I tried playing, and handled Donovan's shots well today... Then the doubles was really stupid... I felt a small gastric pain towards the end, and screwed up abit cuz I couldn't move well enough, but enough to finish the match... Then Fred held me back when he said he wanted to play another set... Crap... I thought I could do something else back at the main 2 courts... I had to agree with what Irfan said about Fred not giving a serious attitude about being in the team... He has no mantality whatsoever about playing for the team... Damn it man! If you don't want to play, at least give my chances a thought and play seriously will you?!

I thought I did well at doubles drill... I placed really nice smashes and only hit one ball out... Still, it wasn't enough to push for a spot... The line-up was decided and I asked if I was going to play tommorow... A negative answer came back... Shit man... I think I should just rebel... I thought that Irfan's words got into Derric's or Donovan's head, but I guessed wrong... If I'm not gonna be playing against ITE, what are my chances of playing in any of the other matches?! F***ing shit ****** *** ** ***!!!!!! I realised that what I felt before was nothing, but this is now pure anger and fueled hatred!!! RARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it because I don't have enough experience? Or the captains don't trust me? Is it just because I wasn't a super freshman when I came in, or is it because I'm not rich enough to play in a club like most of the others?

I feel so stupid... Looks like I wasted $65 on the stupid jerseys this year... I'm still foolish enough to think about going to the match tommorow... I can't decide... I don't know my priorities now... It was during the bus that I considered going for the SGLs meeting instead of the match... I don't know... Which am I to choose?

2007-07-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today was really boring... Less than 1/2 an hour of real school time, lots on discussion, and training was cancelled!

I heard the guys team won 3-2 yesterday, without pulling on the full line-up... Girls got it 4-1... Wow...

Then I got home early, did some organizing and then this:

You Are An ESFJ

The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

In love, you value harmony and mutual understanding.
You will apologize or give someone the benefit of the doubt, if it means getting over a fight sooner.

At work, you are good at building relationships and connecting with people.
You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

How you see yourself: Organized, dependable, co-operative

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Opinionated, critical, and know-it-all

What's Your Personality Type?

Does it really reflect me? I don't know...

2007-07-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

I got to meet PJ on Monday! So happy to see him again! I rushed from school down to his place b4 we head to the courts for tennis... Man the match was great! I can finally take 1 set comfortably off him! Haha... But the second set was a real give away when I lost 1-6... We were so hyped and pumped up for the third set but we got chased out... Haiz... I was hitting so well already, but my wrist hurts from taking his powerful serve...

Then I went to his place for dinner... I met his two sisters again... Gosh, their cute! And they also adopted a stray cat... It was naughty though... It ran out the moment they lifted up the board which was supposed to keep in inside the kitchen... Then I went to search for it and managed to get it back for them... I admit though, I'm not much of a pet lover, and certaintly didn't know how to carry it then... It was struggling in my hands! So sad I had to rush off after showering, but we had a little catching up session while he tried DOTA with me...

Yesterday was only supposed to be a practical lesson, but I stayed in school to play batminton with Alvin and Nadj... We couldn't get the hall courts though... So we improvised with the sports deck... Ok, it was fun, but in the end, I got to play 3 sets with Alvin when Nadj decided not to push himself...

I screwed up once again during training! So many important points which I could have won the doubles game but I screwed it all! Practically screwed all of my chances to play in the IVP tournament as well... Haiz... What luck... Guess I'm not fated to play at all... Maybe I should quit and try out batminton... Maybe I would do better...

Today wasn't anything nice to remember... I had a screwy attitude for some time during lab, and it was really irritating to people I think... I told Denyse I was feeling bullish, yea... Bull shit it must have been... But everything was gone after the 2 hour break which allowed me to unwind...

Then it was the meeting again... Bee Sim had a first time experience as a secretary, and she looked exactly the same as I was when I was on my first duty... I didn't really expect the outcome of the instructors to be like this, but well, it couldn't be all my decision anyway... It was a long meeting, especially with so many updates to bring up, and lots of thinking to do as a committee...

I'm don't feel like a VP at all... I've never felt like that one bit since the appointment... All I thought about was bringing the GL family together, but I guess I'm still not ambitious enough... I'm don't feel like I'm doing enough work for the society, and moreover, not thinking or getting into discussions enough... Everyone has ideas and things to bring up during the meeting... I never seem to have anything... Everyone knows what's going on behind, and I'm never informed... Everyone has something to plan and talk about, but I've never brought in or joined into any of them... Am I still too isolated? Or am I not mixing around with them enough? Is it because I'm not approachable? I don't know, I've got not enough committment I guess... Gotta do more stuff from now on...

2007-07-09T01:21:00.000+08:00

Haha... Guess I was awake to see Federer win... Nice 5 set thriller... Got me worried abit when Nadal took the 4th set 6-2... Guess Federer got revenge by winning in the same manner

2007-07-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

Heehee... Weekday slack, weekend also slack... Haven't done any work at all... I'll try to rush stats though...

I went straight home after school on Friday... So stupid, brought the file to school but didn't put it in the clubhouse and brought it home...

I finally caught a movie after god knows how long.. Thanks to my friends who were willing to watch Transformers with me though all of them have caught it already.. They said it was nice, but it really can strain your eyes especially when you're marvelling at the effects so much... But had to pang seh PJ today though... Supposed to go play tennis and catch a movie with him... Moved it to tmr instead...

Today was plain laze around the house... Wimbledon's final hasn't ended, and it looks set to be a really long match... Hope Federer wins...

Tmr will be a long day... I'll need to rush down to Macpherson to meet PJ straight after sch... Its been long since that giant come back win against him... Hopefully it would end a better result this time... What still worries me is this Wednesday... Hopefully I'd get to know the line-up on Tuesday to know if I'm playing... I don't wanna sit on the bench and waste the night away when I could be in school evaluating the interviews...

2007-07-05T23:43:00.001+08:00

Everything started out wrong... My mum cut my sleeping hours short at 6am this morning by waking me up to help reprint my sister's work... Seems there was an error in the format when i printed it last night... But it wasn't my fault! I was only told to print it! Then I left house without my mp3 player... And knowing it was going to be a long day with long travelling hours, it really was a sucky feeling...

The interviews have finally ended..Though the turn out really aren't as large as we expected, I'm hoping we've got a batch with real quality this time... For that, the numbers would have been made up for...

I did a few interviews alone in the early hours... Seems I was the only one there and Alvin had to be outside... Some really interesting characters appeared, like the last applicant of the day... I couldn't help but laugh at his answers...

The meeting with the director was nothing out of the ordinary... Everyone was there... I didn't feel all that comfortable during the meeting... Just nothing seemed right... It was kinda boring too... I wanted to tilt my head back and close my eyes...

I left for training with Ron... He was on his way to the airport, and guess he wouldn't have made it unless he took a cab...

Training has become a pain for me... I hate almost everyone in the bloody team! I didn't have the mood to train, hit, or chase down balls... Just happy my serves got in nicely... Then when I had a chance to practice a match, someone had to make a complain to cancel it, probably cuz he heard I was playing... Ended up as a stupid drill... Wasted my time... I don't want drills! I know I won't improve much there! Everyone is talking about experience! I know I might not have as much experience as them! So why don't anyone help by letting me play to gain more? The changed jerseys came today... Irfan had quite some thought before giving me the only L sized shirt... Damn... If I'm not expected to play, why bother to give it to me anyway... I was just about to say those words when he handed it out to me...

When I was walking out of the area, I saw Cheryl, the new year 1 power girl... I thought it was just gonna be a simple goodbye and a smile... Seems she has notice my poor mood during training recently... "don't be so sad k"... These could have easily came from one of my friends... It was different, having from her... It was something which I really appreciated, felt warm about, and had the biggest impact... There's someone in the team at least, who takes notice of me... I'm deeply touched...

Just when the day couldn't end bad enough... I fell asleep on the bus home and I missed my stop... I had to waste more time walking home from the interchange... Just now, while I was trying to heat up the food, I spilled some water from the electric kettle on top of the oven... It splashed all over, costing me not only my dinner, but also a mess to clean up... While cleaning up, I leaned over the sink, thinking about the recent events... How sad it has been... I could have added to those water droplets in the sink without even turning on the tap, but mum was around... I didn't want to show anything, not in front of her, knowing it wouldn't do me any better...

Who do I have to turn to to seek more comfort and warmth? Nothing seems genuine now, even my passion for tennis... I've got no more determination... I'm giving in half-heartedness into everything... Even the meeting with the director... I felt so useless, not being able to list out any topics of concern during the time... I'm not doing enough as vp I guess... I didn't even dare to answer "yes" to Ron when he told me that I must have been under stress...

I really wish I could read minds... I don't know if I've got people hiding things from me, or how I feel when I gave them my comments? Was I too harsh? Was I doing enough to put the message across? Have I offended their pride? No one tells, until they compile it all and unleash it in a single tidal wave... Its gonna hurt bad, especially when I've seen people suffering from it...

Things won't look any better for the next few weeks I guess... I just wanna find out if I've got even the slightest chance to play in next Wednesday's opening match of the tournament... I wouldn't want to go then... I'd rather spend my time in the clubhouse then at TP watching by the sidelines... After all, is that the team I'm supposed to be part of?

2007-07-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

Things have taken a silly twist...

Some things, I can never comprehand... Never would I expect things like these to ever happen, if not for my friends, who usually tell me a thing or two... Am I not observant enough? Or am I not even able to observe?

So happy Hui Xian , Serene and Bee Sim were back in school today, and Eileen too... Probably the first time I saw them since the first meeting... We've missed them... They were just in the right place at the right time I guess... Good to get them updated on everything... I had dinner with some of my Stardust babies today... It was fun to have them all together again... Hopefully the turn out would be more the next time...

GL interviews have been going on for 3 days, and the final day is tomorrow... I've met quite a few interesting personalities during this period of time... Really colourful... I had to really put things harsh to some of my fellow GLs during the interview today... The response from them was really scary, though I'd expect it... I'm afraid relationships between me and my friends would turn sour... I've got not much left... Its not ideal to let more slip off...

What's sillier, is while I want to get everyone into being one, big happy family, I'm being left out in some place else... Crazy how something like this can happen... Maybe I'm just not fit to be in that world... Why should there be outcasts? Am I supposed to be one just so that I can feel how it is like for others? I've experienced enough of that... It hurts even for a short period of time...

What's worst, is that I'm afraid I'm gonna lose something, when things have not even advanced... A treasure like this is hard to find, considering I just lost something similar... I want to keep this one, but I'm afraid of the same outcome, or maybe worst... I'm not in control of anything, and any external factors can just sway things away of my direction... I don't feel anything when I'm out of home, but once I have the luxury of thinking of it in a cosy warm place, wild thoughts just keep surfacing...

2007-07-02T00:19:00.000+08:00

Ai Yai Yai! I've not even visited my own blog the past 3 weeks+.. Could kick up so much dust when I got here.. Even the pages load so slowly..

Its been really busy.. Holidays didn't seem like holidays, and I've been really busy.. I've met quite a few people, made some knew friends, and got to know more people better.. If I were to go through every activity over the holidays, its probably gonna be too big for this entry..

Now that school's started, I've gotta start placing studies under priority again.. Apart from that, there's lots to prioritize about.. Family, Work, Tennis, GLs, Friends, and maybe a new girl? Its all that's keeping me occupied.. I wanna play too! And I admitt, I've been using time in school alot for that..

But who really knows what I want.. I'm dead tired trying to strike a balance between everything.. Sure I've heard of "you can't have the best of both worlds", but I want the best of ALL the worlds! Ambitious, and probably stupid.. My common test papers have came back, and they are far from helping me achieve what I aim for this semester.. I keep thinking I can pull a miracle at the finish line like my OBC paper in year 1, but its all so far-fetched once I get knocked back down to earth..

Things in the team have only gotten worst for me.. Since the miraculous performance at the trials, my form has only slipped.. Was I at my peak then? Or maybe I've stopped watching Prince of Tennis? I've got no time, now that the tournament is just a little more than a week away.. I want to play for the team this year.. But everyone seems to be in a big click, which I'm not part of.. No one wants to pair with me for doubles drill, let alone practice doubles unless they are forced to.. Have I offended anyone? Said something wrong? It can't be my committment level.. TELL ME!!! I'M GOING NUTS!!! Its nothing close to a team to me right now!!!

I received a letter saying I'm gonna get full-colours award for my "achievements" in tennis.. But really, what have I achieved? The bright side of things is, I've made things more competitive in the team, so everyone had to step up their game.. I know its all a load of crap.. What's an award if I didn't achieve it with my own hands? Dad's gonna come back in time to go for the awards, but somehow, I don't feel like taking it on stage in front of him, or in front of anyone.. It just doesn't feel the same now as when I told him about the award on the phone..

GLs have had quite a busy opening week in school with the telematch.. I hope getting the GLs made them remember we're not only here for FOC.. Most of us regard the event as an advertisement for the GL recruitment.. I'm just glad it was good in keeping the freshies happy throughout.. For that, job well done to my fellow GLs, and the hardwork of the organizers..

The week has been tiring, even though I haven't done much.. Towards the end of the week, I got grouchy, and probably offended a few people.. I'm so sorry to all those I've shouted at, lost my temper on, passed bad remarks, or just plain ignored.. No one was to blame for it, and certaintly, non of you deserved it.. I'm so, so sorry.. Forgive me, really.. I'm at a lost, just exhausted from juggling things..

I went out with Mum and Ryl today.. At east coast, we went to walk at the beach after dinner.. Before we left, a guy appeared and made an announcement about a sand castle-building workshop.. I wondered what kind of workshop could be conducted in the open beach, but he did.. He was relating alot about building techniques to everyday life.. Some of them were just a load of crap, but most of them are really relevant, and I find it really "enlightening".. He's quite a wiseman apart from his skills in building sand castles.. Now here's an alternative to team-bonding activities..

A new week begins tomorrow.. I don't really feel like I want a holiday, when some of my peers are complaining about the Youth Day not given to poly students.. I jsut wanna go out and expend my energy to the fullest, do everything, make things right for the near future at least.. Can I do that? Its crazy, to many, but does anyone know what I really want to achieve? I doubt so.. So there's no need to sympathize, or even try to understand.. To my life, HERE I COME!!!

2007-06-01T05:14:00.000+08:00

Things have looked up quite abit at last. Just that I still haven't been able to concentrate on my studies... So hard to find that seriousness like before, even though I made myself promise everytime...

E-learning week was pure havoc and frantic... I woke up dead early in the morning and crashed Mr Mak's lecture for the second time... I sat beside my claimed "clone" and new acknowledged daughter... Then it was to the the labs for SMArts programme... I lost to Nadj and Alvin in a game so I had to take the floristry lab... Turns out it wasn't as reluctant as it was... Though I got my group lost due to poor planning, we had the most fun out of the 3 labs... I did flower arrangement and a brochue (or whatever they call it)... Kinda feel that satisfaction that I still have the "gentle" side around... Here's my "proud" creation

Not bad lah... Considering I didn't get the dark red roses... I made friends with the chio teacher who tagged along for this lab... Fun having our talks when we had the chance... Other than that, she was with her students and I was helping and talking to the others...

The unexpected and my feared moment came... Trials!!! I needed to keep my team spot badly, and on top of that, vie for the final spot in the main 7... I wore the weights the whole day and removed them only when I arrived at the court... I think Freddrick was shocked when he saw I had them on... Luckily I had 15 minutes to walk around and get adjusted to being "un-chained"... Otherwise I would have walked as though gravity had increased 10-fold! Trials began shortly and the worst-anticipated happened: Dominic Boey was drawn into my trial group! Crap! I didn't want to play him at all, thinking that I wouldn't stand a chance with my current form against his experience...

The first match between me and Clayton was dissapointing... I didn'tgo all out against him, just placing lousy slices and lobs to him to keep the ball in and wait for his mistakes... He deserved to win the match though, after having one match point... I came through with a close score... I didn't dare look at him in the eye when we shook hands and I even muttered "sorry" to him for the lousy play... Then it was Fred, which I made myself play better... Not bad, more on the offence, and still won... my backhand shots were not fired up at all, fearing I'd stress my shoulder further... Greg had something to say to me after that match.. Though I couldn't make out that word, I think it meant cowardly in a way, referring to my match against Clayton... Then my match against Dominic was brought forward because of an available court... At first it started out with just the 2 of us alone... Then some freshies started coming in to the court to watch... I played at my max this time... Hitting really good shots while at my game... Though he totally dominated his first serve game, I took the remaining points well... I even earned the applause of the spectators when i ran back to return a lob with another lob... It was this match that I realised I had quite abit of me which has yet to come out... From here, I have learnt my game... I took the group, winning all matches... I get my IVP spot, but have yet to decide my ranking in the team...

Friday was crash course work day... I rushed all my e-learning tests and made sure I did most of my work in order to be able to use 3/4 of my weekend in Malaysia... Darren came over to camp at my place so that he could go with me to the Elken event the next day... We didn't sleep... I tried doing work while he studied... Then we got bored at 1am and decided to head out to grab a bite... While at it, we had some photo fun... I'll upload the pics sometime soon cuz' there's an error with blogger now and I gotta get prepared for school in a few minutes time...

Winner's Nite was great... I had quite a sight there... I've never been to such a great award ceremony before... It was at a Stadium!!! WOW!!! And performances from 2 singers (I forgot their names) as well! I got to know quite a few accomplished people in the company there...

The journey back was really long, but I spent most of it sleeping while also trying to do my notes... Haiz... Common test is soon, and I doubt I would do well...

Monday was the first paper... So demoralising... An easy paper, but I didn't remember a single thing I studied... I was not confident of my answers at all, and really just scrapped through... Then I got a message from Ben Lim asking me to go for a Student Union meeting at night... Oh man, I wanted to go home and get rest! I was dozing of at the head advisor's speech... Dead long and boring, but he finally put his points across and I understood the purpose of the meeting... I met the other representatives from the other divisions... They are all really interesting people... Maybe I should start to let loose and be myself around them than stay quite during the next meeting...

I woke up late with a splitting headache on Tuesday... Crap! I had to miss INAC lab... I spent the day slacking and playing instead of studying... There goes the paper tommorow...

Haiz, expectedly, I wasn't confident on the paper again... I was juggling between answers so many times... I spent alot of time memorizing the amino acid structures in school... I think I got those pretty much covered... Still, some questions were really out of hand, and I couldn't do much... Then I watched Mind Your Language with Nicole and Alvin before going to Elken... It really cleared my mind and got me in high spirits for the rest of the day!

I went to Mac's to meet Darren and have my dinner before going... I got my blue shirt from him! Yay! Apparently, I was the second last to receive it... =.=

At Elken, I got to talk to the beatiful Sylvia... We were smile to each other when we met each other at the office everytime, but never got to know each other cuz' we are from different groups... I only knew her name before because she did a small experience sharing before... We exchanged smiles again when she left... Heeheez

I was about to step out of the door yesterday before Joel sent me an sms telling me that the meeting with our teacher was cancelled! Luckily I went out late, or else I would have been somewhere in the middle of the journey until I convince myself the meeting was cancelled... Instead, I went out to celebrate Ryl's birthday! heehee... We went to parkway to settle her gameboy charger problem... Sadly it couldn't be helped... It was like 2 different stores were telling two different stories in total, but both didn't help... Then mum brought Ryl to go shop around, so I had the chance to do the shopping for the stuff I needed to make Ryl's present... It took me 2 hours in total! Searching almost the whole of Parkway... Total cost was $20, leaving me really broke for the week... Then it was dinner! Wee! We went to Grand Plaza hotel to eat! Though the main course dishes in the buffet wasn't fantastic, the desserts made up for everything! I also had lots of smoked salmon! Wah! Great dinner!

Oh yes! Its 1st June already! Ryl's birthday!

Happy Birthday Ochibi!

11 years old already! Hope you accomplish your aim! Heehee... Alright, off to school, and a long day~!

2007-05-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

Whoo hoo... I've been a "Man on a Mission" today

For the past 2 days, I've been trying to fix the router problem to make sure i get to have my e-learning at home... It was a hard struggle, irritations without a doubt... At least I got half the problem solved...

After about 5 or 6 calls to Linksys, they finally reached a verdict that my router was faulty... So I had to go down to their office at Bishan today to get mine replaced... Phew... I got there just half-an-hour before they close, and thank god it was quick and without complications... I had lots of time on my hands before training so I went to Bishan library to do the graph work that I want to hand up tomorrow... Still got abit left... Seems the work was quite easy... I couldn't find space so I sat opposite the table where there was a pretty girl occupying...

On my way back to the MRT station, i walked passed Giordano and heard someone shout out my name... Turns out it was JoJo aka Kah Kee! She told me she was posted there after she rejoined the company... Looks like I'm not the only one not lagging behind work...

I walked around Bishan central to find a sports shop... I only wanted to get overgrips at first but instead I bought a pair of ankle weights as well... It seemed cheap, and on top of that, there was a discount cause of the Great SG Sale...

Training today was tough... I thought of using weights for training but thought of getting used to walking before doing anything foolish... And luckily the decision was right! I experienced hell training today! I haven't trained till my whole shirt was wet before! It was so tough, I literally shut down while I was waiting for the others to end their drill... My vision today was really good despite the fact that I didn't have anything to eat for the past 7 hours... It was the first time I could see the ball and its direction so well, like it was all in slow motion... I could even tell when the ball is going into the net or flying out!

I was told that the team trials were to be held this Thursday because the advisor wanted us to name the 11 players going for the tournament... As though I'm 100% ready... I would play a total of about 5 matches on Thursday... Best would be to win them all to keep my spot in the team... And hopefully I get the last vacant position in the main 7...

My internet is almost about done, after trying for 1 hour and experiencing a blackout... Seems my desktop can't be turned on but I can receive internet on my laptop! Hehe... Gotta finish all the work i can, Godspeed (literally)

2007-05-19T00:04:00.000+08:00

The day was jumping from high to low... Sadly, it was the downside that came first...

There was the usual MBC test and I had my mp3 on... I didn't realise it was that loud that it would effect people... I realised it only when I took it off and Nadjmi told me about it... When I took it off, my classmate turned around and looked at me as though I have offended her really greatly... Oh man... She think's I'm not feeling guilty enough?! I couldn't concentrate during the MBC lecture, partly cause I didn't have the notes, while I was still feeling really guilty about the incident...

The lectures passed pretty quickly... Good thing is, I pretty much absorbed everything... Lunch was pretty much shorten... Dr Ooi had a meeting so we shifted the practical earlier to ease her... Before the lessons began, I joined Augustine on one of his Chinese Concentration Camps... He started to use the chinese accent and "engage" in dynasty era activities... It was really funny... I couldn't stop it... So I carried it all the way up to the lab...I even called Dr Ooi "GuGu" which means aunt... K, maybe it was too much... But glad it died of gradually while it kept my spirits high...

We left the lab early but I wanted to stay back to finish the report with Wei Ting... I saw her again... I couldn't keep my eyes away but distract myself from her presence... During that time, the feelings all rushed back unwillingly... Just when I thought I've completely let go, that moment proved me otherwise... I just wanted to tell her my feelings, but the place was really cramped and we were not alone... Haiz...

I spent quite some time at emart completing the report... At first glance, one of my graphs went really wrong, but I found a solution around it when I helped Joel when I went back to print the graphs... So happy... I also met the cute Xinyi on my way down... Seems like she's caught in class cuz' of the same meeting Dr Ooi went to...

Alvin called me when I was having a bite at SIM... Apparently, my form wasn't voided, so I could spare the fencing club house's spray paint... I got back and started getting more POT episodes juz in case I got bored during the coming week... Then I spent time to show Alvin all he wanted to know about Elken and told him even more... Hope it pays off...

Tonight's talk at Elken was just plain boring... I tried to stay awake, but still fell asleep while I sat in the second row... The speaker could have a clear view of me as the was no one in front of me! Haiz... I tried fidgeting with my handphone and drink water to keep awake but it was that mere 7 minutes or so which I turned off...

Mum got a call from home... My sis told her about a black out... Should have been caused by the rain... We rushed back and I had to forgo my dinner or else my sister would have to stay in the darkness longer...

Mum and I had alot to talk about on the way home, mostly about work... Well, I did get a few points across to her... Hope it worked... Geez, its late, and I've got to get up early tomorrow... Hope the next few days turn out better...

2007-05-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

Today's feeling is.............................

...IRRITATED!!!

Its sucky to be feeling all alone again... I don't have anyone to have long talks with anymore... No one who understands me, shares my joy, feels my sorrow... Everyone's caught in something else, and I'm not part of it... Do I really need to get a new life?

I know there's work to do, but I don't know where to begin cause I'm tired and there's too many to remember... What's still bogging my mind is that stupid nomination form... I suddenly had a huge feeling my name would be under the voided list tomorrow...

I've persuaded mum over and over again since last week to do something about the lousy router system at home... Apparently, she hasn't done anything about it and says she always forgets cause she doesn't use the computer much... Its really stupid cause when she uses the computer, she flares up and gets irritating when she realises the internet speed is really slow... Then when she called Starhub this evening (at last), she told me to follow the answering system's useless advice... Damn it larh!!!!!!! Of course there's f***ing internet connection!!! I know its the dumb router system that is at fault but she won't believe me... I went to do the bypass in the end but nothing works... I gave it up and went to bathe... When she saw me walking to the toilet she didn't ask me anything about how the bypass was, and instead she keeps moving away by talking about Elken stuff non-stop!!! YOU KNOW HOW IRRITATED I AM?!?!?! My e-learning week is just next week and its gonna defeat the purpose of e-learning week if I have to go back to school every darn day to use the internet! I've got no words to describe it... Irresponsible?! I wish I was like Alvin who takes charge of the internet stuff of his home...

I don't know what my sister really is to me... How can that little angel I highly anticipated to arrive into this world 11 years ago turn into one of the most vexing things I have at home?! At times she's really good, talks to me and shares fun... But recently its mostly been irritation and talking bad about me to my mum behind my back... She told my mum that I'm very serious with her... IF I'M SERIOUS, IT WOULD BE SERIOUSLY ANGRY!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't dare release my anger on her... For some crazy reason, I don't dare... I don't dare to release it on anyone either... Only a few occassions... Maybe it was the "aftermath" of those occasions that holds back the see and destroy function... Am I nice? Am I a coward? Is it because I don't dare to voice out? I always go back into my room and let all the pain gather... It hurts my heart alot... Literally...

What should I do? Get new friends? Get into something new? Seek comfort in a non-living thing? Go crazy? Turn into a totally different person? Or continue to be the one I am and continue to suffer it all inside?

2007-05-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

Haiz... Today was full of losses...

I lost my pen, and it was the one which contained a full cartridge of ink in it! God knows where it was... And the casing was still unscratched and new!

Then lab was shitty... I didn't read the manual beforehand and I didn't get the aim of the experiment... Then when we came back from lunch to check on the electrophorosis, we saw that our cover was left open and no current was passed through! We waited for nothing!!! I'll kill whoever did that to us!!! Freak... Then we had to wait again while the class finished their report... Worst still, Nadjmi took all the photocopied pictures and left without giving one to me... Now how the heck am I gonna hand it in tomorrow?!

I realised I made a mistake when I sent my digital nomination form in... I didn't attach a seperate picture of myself in it! Instead, I put it in the form itself... I hope it doesn't get voided... I'll breakdown not cause I don't get a chance to run for main comm but for all the efforts in doing the form go down the drain! And just when letting your friends know you made a stupid mistake, everyone has to rub it in by making it sound like my death will... Russel Peters was right, "aww" is not a natural human emotion, but something that is said by going out of your way...

I'm tired... I even went down to Elken today for the talk... I fell asleep though I told Darren he can't do that today... Oh well, it seems like I didn't miss out any important points, so it was forgivable... Then my mum asked about my aims... I didn't dare say... It was kinda lofty, but I'm still going for it...

2007-05-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

Its Dad and Mum's anniversary today! So Happy Anniversary!! Its 19 years! Amazing... And its Mother's Day too! In a matter of minutes... So Happy Mother's Day MUM!!!!

Wow my form is back, for good! I could hit offensive shots while being on the run, and change the flow of the game! Only thing is the finishing still sucks... For that, I'm working on the strentgh toning... So wasted, i gave up during the endurance physical training... Just wanted to save energy for the next physical... I finally won my first 2 matches since losing at the tournament! Sadly, one had to come from a girl... Haiz... I didn't give it full power, but it was enough to cause errors off her and take the match without dropping a game... I was too tired from playing the first match too...

I realised I had some work left undone for MBC when i got home from training on Thursday... The tutorial worksheet, the vitamin presentation, and the crazy quiz which was mentioned only on Wednesday... I thought of staying up throughout the night, but guess the lazy me fell asleep while trying to get a break... At least the tutorial was done... I studied for the test on my laptop during the bus journey to school... Thank god I left super early from home... The crazy traffic jam made me arrive half-an-hour later than expected! By then, the only stunt I had to pull off were to get my findings into slides and get ready for presentation... Both the test and presentation went well, though I know I made a few stupid mistakes here and there... Then the 4 hour lecture torture came... Haiz... I think I might become like Kiap and Ben Wong, repeat instru... I haven't paid attention much during lectures...

MBC pract was like mental torture this week... No wonder it was 4 hours long for some classes... Joel's class even had to have Dr Forday give them time at home to finish the report... Wei Ting and I were going crazy over the endless calculations and graph plotting... Thank god it was on excel, or it'll take me even longer! We finally pulled it off, but my day wasn't over... I had to go down to Elken for lesson... Met Jessica on the bus, she was so happy to see me! Haha... Its been sometime since the start of school... We really were happy to see each other then...

I fell asleep during the first half of the lesson... Geez... It was pure boring, though the speaker pulled off lotsa jokes... The contents were all abt heart diseases, so I guess taking a break would be ok?

Ooh well, that concludes this tiring week... There's still Monday's stats quiz... I'm not ready for it at all... Wonder when I'll start going for my book...

2007-05-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

The day was so depressing... I asked myself when I got slapped (not literally) back twice in a matter of minutes: "now, why do I bother to try to set things right?"

It sucks when your presence isn't appreciated... You don't feel like you're of any use, and no matter what you do, you won't enjoy it... Nothing feels worth committing to, or put any ounce of effort into doing things...

Thank god for training, it made up for everything wrong...

I never expected myself to perform even better than the last few weeks, even thought i haven't touched my racket for a week... Only thing now is conditioning my fitness back... I saw the new intake of freshies... And to think all those smiles of their faces represented confidence... They weren't much, at least for one guy... I heard that one of them was Dominic Boey, some pro guy... But he's just one of those fashion freaks like the seniors in my team... I'm not gonna' look up to him... He'll be just another freshie...

So far so good... I've yet to get pwn-ed by a freshie on the court... I've seen how Jasmine played... I've yet to make any decision to whether she's good... Hope she shows me better...

2007-05-07T00:49:00.000+08:00

GLOOORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!!!!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Its official! Final score stands at 1-1!!! Man U has won the title! YAY!!! They've broken the reign of Chelsea!!! Smiles on the faces of Man U fans tommorow! Deffinitely alot of talk going will be going on! Gonna get the paper or something... Should fill up most of the sports section...

There's still something Man U has to prove though... Beating Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, something no team has yet to do since Mourinho has taken over Chelsea... Winning the league would be so sweet if they can do that the coming Wednesday! At least grab a draw to prove they do deserve to win the title... WOOHOO!!! GLOOORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!

2007-05-07T00:46:00.000+08:00

Oh man! It slipped my mind totally! I forgot to wish Karen happy birthday yesterday, or rather, 2 days ago! Eheheh... Maybe I should drop her a testimonial... Abit late also... Wanted to do that after I came back from dinner just now...

Haiz, suddenly everyone's emo again... Is it a trend at this age?

Well, for all Man U fans or Chelsea haters, here's something to be happy about: Current score of the Arsenal-Chelsea match is 1-1 on the 85th minute, and Chelsea are down to 10 men... If this is the way the match ends, Man U are winners for EPL! Yay! I'll be up to keep track of this important few minutes... Arsenal! Don't fail!!!

2007-05-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

God! Its tiring! I spent the whole day out at Malaysia... Elken launched its new products, and yesterday, I was introduced to both of them... It was educational, and really motivational to push those new products... Mum was really lifted when she got her first set of the new product she ordered... I went for dinner with my "bosses" at a steamboat house before heading back... I stumbled quite a few times during dinner... Felt like such a klutz...

I tried to watch 300 after the EPL matches ended, but felt asleep even though all those killings and gore were taking place on screen... Haiz, and woke up to find lines under my eye bags... Gonna be looking very horrid...

Charmaine's gonna leave tommorow... Man, its sad... Looked like yesterday when all of us were going through FOC with her... Well, wish her the best, take care my friend!

2007-05-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

Its so funny now that school has returned to the serious, tiring ways, after what was almost a week's relaxation...

I was late again... for the 5th straight day... This is bad... I woke up on time... Darn traffic killed my effort of waking up on time... Not a good start to the day... The lectures were pretty slacky exept for stats... I walked in late and thought I was in the wrong class when I saw Dr Forday... Seems he's doing relief for Dr Ooi... Cool... And the mis-pronounciation of buffet... I didn't expect it to come from someone who I hold highly in regard for his articulation... Then I got to see Nadjmi's ex at Megabites! Haha... I couldn't find the right words to describe her but I can roughly see how Nadjmi finds her attractive... Alvin could only laugh and ridicule at him...

I injured my leg somehow after lunch... Nadjmi said I rested my weight too much on my knee, which I couldn't bend much without feeling some pain... I walked the rest for the time till halfway through practical with my right leg dragging the burden behind...

By the end of the practical, my left knee recovered, but it was my right ankle's turn to suffer! Seems I relied on it too much... It still hurts a little now... I hope it will recover before tommorow...

I'm stuck on my desk now trying to finish the stats work, and find myself having a few blanks... I ain't have the luxary of this weekend... Its too packed and I don't want to have school work distracting me... Its something that's going to help me alot in my work...

The day when Charmaine leaves Singapore is drawing nearer... Sad for me, I don't have anyone to go home with after GL trainings, but worst for Alvin... Gawd... He showed me the UVERworld song this week which perfectly describes the words he wants to tell Charmaine over and over again... I'm hooked onto the song, mostly cause their love reminded me of many things... Now, I can only sit back and admire them while remembering how foolish I was to have given up something as similar as this...

2007-05-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's been quite an adventure... I haven't done "exploring" like that in a long time... The day was wet too... Just the atmosphere...

I was really late for school to begin with... Almost 40 minutes late... Thank god i didn't miss much... Can't help it if you're staying at the other end of the country and wake up an hour before shool starts... Seems like I wasn't the only one late... A few more were later and even Dr Choy was late... Then she walked in late too... I couldn't help but notice her there, though I set out not to look or talk to her again since that incident...

The day ended so quickly... I just over an hour... I stayed in school for some time to have lunch with my freshies... It didn't go too well though... Seems like they only had an hour break, while I took them to canteen 3... Oops... Well, Shili insisted on going the night before... Then I heard from Edmar that MC's presentation didn't go all that well... Poor him... He pulled through a late night and woke up unwell, yet he still came for the Stardust outing... Guess his efforts were kinda wasted... Hope nothing really bad happened...

I left lunch to join Nadj and Alvin for pool... Its been some time since the 3 of us have spent time together... It was really fun... Seems like my pool hasn't deproved much, but I couldn't help but hit "stunning shots" at times... Hee... It was split at $4 each when we ended... Deffinitely worth the amount to spend good time with buddies!

I set out to Funan to get printer ink... I don't really know the way there by bus... So I cut the train expenses by going down to Newton first... It was all pretty easy... Then I realised there were so many shops around and I forgot to call my Godpa about where to get it... I went exploring around... Then I realised I didn't know the model number of my printer too! While I was about to buy one, I had to excuse myself to go somewhere else to check from my laptop...

I was too lazy to go back to that shop then... Rather, I couldn't remember which shop it was... So I went exploring... Different shops... I only saw price tags on coloured inks while what I wanted were only black ink refills... So I estimated the average cost of one to be cheaper than the coloured ink... I didn't want to bother the salesmen, and I wanted to soak in my own world of music... So I jumped from shop to shop, still hoping to find the cheapest price on the tags...

Then I came to a store which had a tag! It was $32!!! Twice the amount of the coloured ink! Though I would have bought it anyway, but I only had $28 left! I realised that if I didn't play pool, I could've got it no problem... Haiz... Long way here... And I wasn't about to leave empty-handed... Though my mum told me to go home, I stayed on and explored till I finally found a shop which sold it at a cheaper price!!! It wasn't the brand of the printer though... But anything would do! I could go home with a peace of mind then...

Then when I exited Funan, I realised I went to the wrong bus stop, which had buses going the other direction of home... I walked down street by street trying to find the bus stop... Finally, I found one, which had only 1 bus home... It would do... But I dropped off near bugis to get a faster bus back...

Not long after I got home, I had to leave for the Biopure forum at Elken... I've never taken a bus to Elken from home before... So I got myself lost for the second time in the day... The Geylang strecth seemed to be the same at night; bright lights and signboards with coffee shops along the road... So I just got off the bus when my PSP ran out of battery... I crossed about 3 streets before I reach the other side of the road which the office was located, but I found myself in between Paya Lebar and Aljunied, while the office was only after Aljunied MRT! I had to walk down the long path along the MRT track to reach the office... I got there on time, but the event didn't... It was half an hour later that the event started... I could even accompany Darren to buy stuff before the event begun...

It abt that that ended such a day... I realised I survived half a day with only $2 in my wallet! Hehe... How's that for a misadventure?

2007-05-01T23:14:00.000+08:00

2 weeks of school has passed and another has begun... One thing that's still around is that people keep using the Donald-Kenneth identity thing... I understand how Kenn felt at the camp now... I wore my Einstein tie throughout the week, which was what i set out to do after we broke camp... Having freshies around school was something... er... fresh! Makes school really fun and lively again... I don't sleep in lectures now at least... And i get to crash lectures!!! Heehee... which was what i did on Thursday morning...

The first week has been pretty quiet... Training resumed but i still feel lost and directionless in the team... Everyone's on one side while I'm on another... When one person makes fun of me, everyone has to rub it in by laughing together... Especially the lousy n freakin-poser CLAYTON!!! Next time i play against him I'll make sure he eats max power!!! Well, the new players are coming in soon... I'd like to see the standard though, and quick... Don't know if I'll last in this team

NP held an eventful 2 days of activities for the opening of the Student's Plaza... I just thought it was kinda a bore with all that waiting... Rather have sat in the LT and listen than go parade... LSCT won 3rd in the cheering competition... Quite dissapointing, but we did do well for not having planned much and wear anything special... and we didn't use loudhalers...

We had an outing for Bonnet, Nerwin and Stardust... This time to al-ameen for a simple dinner... The food was great! The curry cook was on form oso! Couldn't resist the curry so i ordered another prata juz to have a shot at the curry, though i was down wif a bad cough and sore throat already...

Towards the end of the week, i fell terribly ill... I still went ahead to Elken for the talk, only to suffer in the cold... My fever got worst, and I was rather dead over the weekend... The headache still persisted into the start of the second week, but but it died of slowly...

Training has been sucky these few weeks... I couldn't get shots with power and my ability of finishing at the net was gone... I wasted alot of winners, performed badly, and couldn't maintain consistency... I haven't won a match since losing to that guy at the Int Tournament...

Week 2 was kinda slow... I finally got a full week or Dr Choy... Man he's boring! But can see he's getting strict when we're not paying much attention... Dr Amy Ooi has called the 3G boys... So now we're converting to 3B for this semester at least...

The week ended with an outing to sentosa! Supposed to be for GLs only but some Xiphos ppl were invited... Haiz... If this was possible, i would have called my Stardust along as well... Nvm... I still have an outing with them... For this trip to sentosa, a new 1-day attraction was found... The Beach Boys! heehee... Its just Lendl, Joel and I playing a fool with sunglasses... We needed them anywae... Then I played horrible attacking beach soccer... Nothing like the previous time... I played quite gd volleyball though... Never been this gd b4... haha... We beat the BA ppl who were there! Haha... To win over the volleyball court lah...

Then Darren and I had to rush off for the Elken RAN at Downtown East... Wee... Dinner was gr8! And I've never seen this many middle-aged and old ppl get high and active b4... Well, the night was mainly for us to gain motivation, and meet all the great performers in the company...

The 3rd week is meant to be slacky, with practicals cancelled one by one... Haiz... Sch's gonna be boring...

Stardust had an outing today!!! Wee! We had fun! Met early in the morning for breakfast... It was good prata and teh tarik! Only for $2 somemore! Then we went to East Coast park to play! We wanted to play hit-and-run, but I was more concerned on getting a spot to settle at...

Took this group zi lian pic on our way to East Coast

We started with "Fitness corner soccer" for the guys while the girls went to play water... It was self-pwn for the guys! Luckily I didn't make a fool of myself! Then the girls joined us for soccer, which just roused more scandals... Heehee... Lunch at BK was gd! I got to eat a Mushroom Swiss at last! Yum! Then we went back to the same spot to play captain's ball so the girls can join in... So funny when they play... Like kids... But great enjoyment! Then we saw a bunch of Bangladesh workers enjoying they're day out as well... Like some tag game... Haha.. And John made a really funny racist remark about them as well!

Some of us left while the remainder went for dinner at the harker centre... My mum got to see Kenneth! She herself couldn't believe the likeness...

Well, to almost 3 weeks of the new sem, that's about it... I heard Jasmine from Nerwin got into the tennis team, along with 6 other guys! Haiz... means more competition for me... Guess I'll have to fight out for my spot in the team then... Good luck to me...

2007-04-15T17:57:00.000+08:00

whoo! back from FOC! it was a blast! got to relive the good old times all over again! like i was really there as a freshie again! so good being a welfare GL!

the long week started from Monday, which was prep camp... so fun... it was gd time to clear up undone stuff and get high for the actual thing! heehee! i lurve my graduation! will keep my tag foreva n eva!

we finished up so much during prep camp... dummy making, packing the log room, buying more logistics, giving a big go at the dance... gave us a sense of readiness for the camp... so many new things surfaced, like my Kaya-Roti partnership wif Steph and the Sexy version of Bang-a Bang-a! thx for adding to the script guys! and the actors too! for being so spontaneous... then the flag was finally up! so proud of the effort the GLs put in! especially for the flag! not forgetting the identity as well! heehee

from this...

...to this...

TA-DA! swee man!!!

then it was the moment... FOC! so fast! i came up with my new performance which is my magic tricks! heehee... yup... something really lame again, but hey! its a good show! i was so afraid that i'll lose my voice before the real camp begins, let alone do the hongky accent for my physics lecture...

in came the freshies! some so big size, some don't even look convincingly 16 or 17! haha.. then i got news that i had a "successor" when i returned from bringing the freshies around the campus... kk, i got no pictures to show yet, but there's this guy which looks almost exactly like me! then when Pamela saw him outside the hall, she made sure he got posted to Stardust! haha... and there was some commotion when the announced his posting... that guy literally turned famous in less then a day... all the GLs knew who he was! the ice-breakers were really good... got to know my freshies well, though i took quite sometime to remember all their names...

first day and there were a few cock ups here and there, but the GLs managed to cover things up and make things alright... but expected the usual breakdowns here and there... this is where i'd usually feel guilty cuz i didn't do much as a welfare head... non-the-less, a really really good day! the freshie's enjoyed it! Stardust zai! we maintained the non-stop increase of high-ness throughtout the day! really worth me losing my voice so quickly! i didn't get more than 3 hrs of sleep, but that did enough to get the slight fever off my head... i'm Doraemon of Stardust! cuz my bag juz seems to be able to fit so many things without getting full! heehee

second day, and god-knows how many spoons of pei-pa-gao and strepsils i ate already! nothing seems to work! ohoh and during breakfast, we celebrated Alvin's birthday! haha... they sabo Charmaine to kiss him cuz she came at the best timing... not bad for a b'dae prezzie leh... Stardust couldn't get anything but high-er! wee~! me ish proud! they even made their own cheer! and they did it so well! mass games was great! not only did the freshies get high, we even made up for the delay in the morning! it started to rain, and we were pushed to entertain our freshies! when it got boring, we resorted to Bang-a Bang-a! Woo hoo! Glad it put smiles and laughter all over! then it was the even dirtier games! heehee... they want me to be dirty too... so i let em hug me after char kway tiao... then i found out that Kenneth ( my look alike) has his own Oi Cheer... so every station master Oi him when he's at the station... then shortly after bath, it was our performance night... everyone was nervous, and they all requested for one last practice... but so glad we did it all so well! then I had to leave early from the performance night to prepare for night walk... but i wanted to watch my Stardust do their item! boohoo! Lao De neva pick my group to go first...

nightwalk was great! me got to scare alot of people... we really let our creativity show during the nightwalk... we did a few combo scares which worked out so well... but there was one which made a girl cry... oh man... and there were a few highlights which i don't wanna say... wait i embaress the freshies... the night ended so late... and i was zombified by the end... i couldn't control where i was moving and my voice was like crap! talking was made so difficult! i got only 15 minutes of sleep cuz everyone came to draw on me... haiz... it felt so much better after a cold shower... felt so awake... but the early morning camp mood dragged my all down by 12pm... then when we took the freshies to the LT, we played a few games, till it got rowdy and we resorted to magic tricks and physics lecture! heehee... so happy i made em laugh! then when it came to fun day, i got high again! everyone was cheering so loudly! we showed LSCT can cheer (without loud haler!) Hee hee! Lao De lead our "regiment" so well! Even made a show to haf the LSCT made in the centre of the hall! the MC had to give in to us as well! our voices were used to the max!

it was goodbye already... haiz... I'm so proud to be Stardust GL! We had the most number of freshies left at the end of the camp and we didn't need an AGL to get us high! we had our last group meeting and lotsa touchy touchy moments b4 we left... funny though, no one cried this time exept Feli *oops*

debriefing was really long... and all the comm heads had to come down and say something! haiz... but my voice! i couldn't speak properly! let alone to the whole LT... think i put some of my fellow GLs to sleep... then i went to al-ameen for curry! haha... i had coke with salt... and it worked wonders! my voice recovered when i woke up yesterday! hee hee..

over all, FOC was a really great success! Stardust was a great success! i'll never forget this FOC as a GL... it seemed to give back so much for all the effort! and i'm sure it will make school really great for freshies who came for it!

2007-04-05T23:34:00.000+08:00

how sad these few days have been.. it shouldn't be like that at all.. FOC is just around the corner, and the Intermediate is 2 days away.. i needa pull things together.. first, I'd like to say to all those who have been with me these few days.. I'm really not feeling stressed.. not much that it will really effect my mood.. its just good, healthy amount of pressure that keeps me in check n do things quick.. its not what I've been expressing these few days.. I'm fine with the preperations for FOC.. it's things behind no one really knows much about..

i'm find that its harder and harder for me to hide things.. i didn't show anything on tuesday, but just yesterday, i got really pissed and a few people noticed, after bad comments were passed while I was doing the Stardust flag.. damn it.. the reason why i skipped lunch was to stay throughout every minute of the flag painting process.. I'm proud, really proud of the group.. i loved the way they were giving pointers when i was sketching the drawing on the flag instead of what i thought would be a one-man show for the task.. they really take pride in it.. the final product was just... WOW.. couldn't have done anything better!

I couldn't hide anything today.. i was glumy the very first moment i stepped into school, and almost everyone who talked to me noticed it.. I took things out on my fellow GLs.. I'm still a nobody there, not in a position to do anything like that, and certainly should not have done something as foolish as that.. i almost brokedown in front of my peers, but was forced to kick that thought when we had to force our smiles out to pass our dance practice.. making the identity for our group finally put some smiles and laughter on my face.. i enjoy this feeling.. its just as though i have a family..

training today proved and convinced me that I'm not prepared well for Intermediate... really really horrid... i almost lost horribly to 2 kids from the Singapore sub-elite team.. luckily i won quite few points before i misjudged the last shot and let them take the match.. i think that performance proved to Stan that i'm not ready.. he wasn't really into giving me advice for my match.. i could tell.. all the basic stuff.. i had to press and ask for some.. and I hope it helps..

we've come to an end, i think.. between me and her.. she left me a few words when i was offline, saying we should talk.. when I finally wanted to talk to her.. she said that we really didn't have much to say anymore, and just left.. and when i saw what was on her nick, really unscrewed every bolt keeping my sanity in check.. SHE LIKES SOMEONE?! and she used love, in the form of a heart shape! is this why she was trying to shake me off? by hurting me really badly? if so, should i still believe all she's said to me.. about guilt and things.. and what i saw yesterday, when she changed her nick to reply to mine.. i was broken..

"I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HER AT ALL"

yup.. i'll agree to that statement.. cuz' I really don't know what she's up to!

what am I gonna do? everytime she says something that hurts, I'll convince myself to let go and see how things wouldn't be great.. but I'll drift back into thinking that things aren't over.. its stupid STUPID STUPID!!! I'm STUPID!!! frustrated all over! God, please, at least give me something positive this Saturday when I play my first tournament match in 6 years!

2007-03-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

My mind is bogged.. Real bad.. I don't even have peace when i rest or play.. Might as well stay up and make use of the whole 24 hrs..

Mum's going crazy about the whole MLM thing.. She keeps telling me to fight for this and that, not considering I'm really busy this time period.. She pulled me to the training today, and after that keep asking me where and what I'm going to do next.. I'M BURSTING FOR GOD'S SAKE! I DON'T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD NOW!!! I even got into a quarel over small things with her today.. Really dumb.. I hate it when she always stands there a gives that stupid stare and waits till I give in to her.. I'm motivated enough to do it already! And I will fight for whatever there is! The time's just not right! WHAT MORE DOES SHE WANT?!

I'm really pissed with some ppl over this weekend.. While I'm trying to make things work out, they complain about things being complicated, how things should be, and how the grass is better on the other side.. Damn, if you don't like the way its done, leave! I still had to make ammendments here and there so they'd be at least a little happier..

Actually, the main thing I've been this grouchy these few days is because of her.. Things just took a great fall last night.. I tried again.. And failed miserably.. But i didn't want to end like that again.. She ran away, thinking everything will be alright.. I didn't have my chance to talk to her.. I doubt I'll ever have again.. I think I'm the real loser now.. She came back for what she wanted.. But I've lost everything and submitted completely to her.. Another night of tears no doubt..

I've lost it.. I really don't wanna entertain complications that much now.. I'm afraid I'll offend people here and there.. I need to find a place to scream.. Cuz' I just wanna curse and swear really badly without people hearing me.. I watched Final Destination 2 on tv last night.. I thought the directors were really creative.. People dying like that.. Mebbe I should just get into something like that.. And try to see how many times I can cheat death.. Probably be able to spice my life up again..

2007-03-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

I can't be bothered with anything that has happened the past few days... How much fun and shit I experienced during GL trainings, how it sucks to train in a team that looks down on me, how dance practices suck when people don't bother to turn up after you took pains to choreograph the steps and use your energy to teach, how i appeared on live tv, how i got to go to watch the Dancefloor live, how bad the weather has been treating me, how I'm eagerly anticipating the release of the tournament draw, how my mum is always giving me pressure to achieve the goal she set for me...

Nothing comes down to me as hard... Not anything like her

She walked back into my life last night... And brought everything back... She just wanted to know how I was... And I was a total jerk to her last night... I had a frustrating day... Busy with stuff, and the frustration just wouldn't go away... Until she came... I'm really sorry, it had to be at the wrong time... I was harsh, really harsh on her with my words, probably affected by how things have been going by...

I woke this morning to see what she left behind for me last night after i went to bed with no regrets of my actions... Guilt just rushed in... And it brought back all my feelings for her... It's crazy, I know... I left home with a heavy heart... I hardly had a full breath both during the trip to school and home... I was just thinking of her words... Those 3 lines I read... What did she really mean and what did she want to do by saying that? I was thinking all day if I should talk to her again... I haven't gotten anything from her since I sent the sms at around 4 this afternoon... My heart's aching badly for her... How I'd miss her when we were in our really happy days... I'm playing a compiled list of sad songs over n over... I can't stop it, and I think I'll go through everything from beginning again... No doubt fatigue is the main reason my spirits have been low... I probably would have fainted if there was training today... I haven't had much rest the past few days, and my actions have been lethargic... I don't have the luxary of this kinda situation now, but nothing's changing...

2007-03-12T21:05:00.000+08:00

It's actually 3.17am on Tuesday now... I've been busy with stuff so it took me quite a while to do up this post...

I've got more then a week's stuff to blog about now... So much to say... Its been eventful but I've forgotten quite alot

Sunday 4th March I went to the Elken health 'n' beauty fair to get a "checkup" on my health... My mum did my facial analysis personally! haha i'd never ever imagined her in a labcoat! Then i asked Yan Lin, Wei San, Darren and Xiang Ling to go... Sad that it was too late for some of them to take the facial analysis... My mum did speak to them about doing MLM with Elken but they didn't seem to be interested... Mum's giving me pressure to get friends especially them to join Elken and it has got in the way of things recently... Can tell she's dissapointed...

Monday 5th March
I played a soccer match in school... So sad our team squandered a 2 goal lead to lose 5-3... Never see this kinda situation b4 lorh... But Jian Ming and I knew that we were in this game for fun whole our opponenets took it kinda seriously... But i gotta thank Jian Ming and his friend for teaching me and correcting my mistakes... I learnt alot about being in defense... I got injured on my left ankle for stopping a shot during the first half though, but i played all 90+ minutes of the game... Exept for the injury i didn't really feel tired...

Tuesday 6th March
OUCH!!! The injury kicked in!!! I couldn't walk without limping very horribly in the morning! Thank god I avoided my mum enough to not let her notice... By the afternoon it was much better and i left the house with a very displeased mum behind...I went to meet Charmaine at Bedok mrt... Seems we met late cuz of a relatively similar situation... Our first task when we got there was to paste stickers on doorgifts... after that, we were rather free till the guests started pouring in! The reception table was panicky! SGLs shoved their way around the back of the table making it more chaotic... I just thought the queue was too long and nobody wanted to wait..When things started to calm down, we all ate our chicken rice which was surprisingly warm after 2 hours! Then our kind AGLs and seniors brought out food for us! Oh Man! The desserts itself were juz too good!!! And also the smoked salmon!!! Couldn't get enough of it! Luckily Charmaine stayed long enough to have them as well!The guests were just not high enough too enjoy the entertainment... I thought the helpers were more high then they were... Anywaez, when we were too tired n full, the guys sat down to games of poker, tai dee, and bluff! Gawd it was real fun and thx to Nadj who didn't unpack the poker cards from his chalet stay!When it all ended there was some commotion outside... Prolly the most active time of the whole night... Year 3s taking pictures with their friends and lecturers... I got a pic with Eileen (my tennis senior)... Don't know why she tried to mess my hair but was too afraid too... Then by the time i got to the station, the uncle close the doors! Woah!!! Ultimate suayness... I took a cab which was lyk 10 times the amount i'd prolly spend to get home by train...

Wednesday 7th March
Training was postponed cuz of Dinner and Dance so the gang decided to take xl out for his birthday... Becuz of my "discipline" and energy level, i didn't join them... Sad sad... Missed out on quite abit, but good they had fun... For me, it was just slack and slack all day... To the birthday boy:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO XIANG LING!!! Gong Hey Lei!!! Gong Hei Lei!!!

Thursday 8th March
Whoo! Energy levels were bursting for the right reasons! I went through 2 trainings! I took quite a few bad knocks here and there...I lead the warm-ups for training and it took out quite abit of my voice already trying to compete with the SU group which didn't let us off the hook... Damn it lah... We all felt the pressure from the AGLs to compete with them... I'm so proud we pwn-ed SU with the small strength we had both during the PT and cheers! But the first accident of the day came when i landed on Steph's shoulder during the captain's ball game... And it hurt my **** bad... No worries though cuz its fully functional and ok...A small group decided to go to sheng siong but i suddenly realised they were all YEP participants so i had to kill time myself at bugis after i left them... I was 1 hour early for training after walking almost the whole of Bugis junction... It brought back some happy memories when i passed by various places though...Tennis training was just sweaty... Not tiring but just sweated... The 3rd coach did regular 4 ball drills with us and the serve drill... He wasn't much of words... He only asked me of my unusual backhand style... He did notice and warn me that my serve swing would injure my shoulder in the long run... Now I know what happened when that day when i busted my shoulder bad... I clocked the best time for the PT again! And this time it was in the coach's expectation! Yay!!! The next 2 accidents came when i knocked into Jasmine twice during the drills... Haiz... And the worst was when i left dinner in a hurry i knocked my head against the metal bar hard! Left a big swelling on my head which lasted till Sunday...

Friday 9th March
I didn't do much... Darren wanted to go out but i thought i'd get rest and spend time at home before my mum starts with her attitude thing...

Saturday and Sunday 10th and 11th March
Trial Camp rocked!!! Though it wasn't like what it was "threatened" to be like, I learnt quite alot about organizing one... The group names for the trial camp were deffinitely done by a girl cuz it was - Brownies, Cookies and Muffins... LOL... I was in Muffins! Beri Beri fun and On group! Lao De came back! He was prolly the most influencial in the camp (no offense to other SGLs)... There was about 5 generations of GLs there... Lao De thought us the water bottle cheer and thought me the full hokkien star wars scene... Heehee... I got so high over it...Then it was closing night... Things started to get serious during the end... The postings were out and feedbacks, blastings and f*ings were on a high... I was sent to the wrong room by mistake and for the time in that room, I thought I was gonna be sacked, looking at the atmosphere... Then i went back to the first room and realised that the people there were all likely welfare candidates! It was then that i got some light about what was going on... I was nominated to be comm head but it only meant more feedback and what-if interviews with the at-that-time camp comm... Well, its gonna mean more work and responsibilities for me... Some of my friends have been really supportive though, offering me their helping hand should I need one cuz of my tasks... Thx alot guys! I appreciate it! Oh! And XL gave me a lil smtn before we left...

It was meant to be a very belated birthday prezzie! He told me not to tell anyone about it so I won't reveal what's inside... But honestly, I thought it was chocolate bars when i first held it...

My heart still hurts over the same thing... Although it doesn't hurt as much as before, it still makes me think back... I wanna get over it though, and as soon as possible before more tasks kick in... It's probably the worst spell I've had... ever...

2007-03-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Wow... Just after the exams and I've betrayed my blog already... Since its the 3rd of March already:

happy birthday to you..
happy birthday to you...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WEI SAN AND FELICIA!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU~

CNY
Its been fun.. Gambling didn't seem to go in my favour this year... Haha... I blew quite alot on the table furing the first 2 days... Day 3 just made it up for everything plus a lil more... heehee... I watched ghostrider on Day 1... Cool... @nd year running i went to see movie on CNY... But i didn't feel all that enthusiastic this year... Really was distracted too much...

Tennis

My form has dropped DRASTICALLY!!! From the 7-6 comeback win to screwed up and mis-timed serves! I've hardly been able to hit a winner now! Thx to Ben and the normal training, I've gotten much of the standards back... All that's left now is the physical fitness...

GLs
Oh just the first training and its SCREAMING from the AGLs!!! argh... siao arh?! Lotsa people didn't seem to be able to take pt... Get use to it guys... Trial camp is gonna start soon... And so is the DnD... I've got a busy schedule ahead... Don't die before FOC kid!!

Her
Speaking of dying... Here's something to die for: she said no... again... Haiz... The past few trainings, my seniors have brought their stunningly beautiful girlfriends along... The others just seem to have non-stop hits with girls... I'm struggling just for one I really love... It belittles me... I'm not jealous of them, just sad I'm not born with the charm and fate throws me arse luck all over my love life... K, I'm just not up to standard for her i guess... I'm hurt, bad... And have seem to have hid it very well from everyone... My eyes watered again that night... I never needed suicide... Her words -"impossible" was what she said- it killed me already... I'm dead in there... haha... coward... COWARD!!! That's what I am... so useless... She's probably forgotten everything like it didn't happen... It doesn't hurt her one bit (as if its supposed to)

Farewell Friend, I'll always remember you
It was all so sudden... Rui Hua... The genius, the one who always had the superior edge over me in studies... She passed away just 2 days ago... Till now, I still find it hard to believe... Poor her... Sherman told me... It must have really been sad for him... Big blow to all those close to her... Sherman, I really admire him... Almost 6 years ago, and till now, his feelings for her have never changed...
I'm still stunned... I don't know what to say... I'm just blown away by everything... Its too hard for me to take... Rest in peace Rui Hua... You'll always be remembered...

Its so saddening... I don't hate it... I need to wake up... Be the one I used to be... So much has drained me... And there's a list of things I need to do and achieve these holidays... I can't care much of my grades from this semester anymore... I know how ugly its gonna look... Wake up... WAKE UP!!!

2007-02-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

I'm Really Tired

I know I promised to do the soccer review today... But I'm really not in the mood to do anything today... I just wanna summarise what I feel like about how things have been for me...

I've lost almost every ounce of my energy. I'm tired. I'm trying hard to hide stuff. I'm tired. I'm faced with inefficiency. I'm tired. I'm doubting integrities now. I'm tired. I'm trying to sort things out. I'm tired. I'm receiving advice from all over, I'm unsure which I should take. I'm tired. I'm trying to get into things, but keep getting brushed away. I'm tired. I'm searching, waiting for answers. I'm tired. I'm dejected all over. I'm tired.

I'm feeling frustrated... I don't know why I'm not getting a clear picture of anything... I'm too tired to bother about anything else now... Well, I'm allowed to, since the exams are over... I don't need advice, I don't want pity... I don't wanna get bothered by anyone unless they've got answers to what I'm asking for... I"m cracking... I hope things would change for the better soon...

2007-02-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

Woo wee... I realise I'm blogging more often then usual... Haha... And its the exam period!!!

Wow some marathon its turned out to be... 2 papers down already!!! Last one in a few hours time! I'm mugging! Hope everyone else taking the paper is... Today's paper was alright... Not much marks one can lose around... And its put some smiles back onto my friends... Gdgd... Don't get complacent guys! Do well for tmr!

I checked out some email HEAD (the tennis racket brand) sent me and there's a new racket already!! I entered the draw to see if I could win one of those rackets... Hopefully I win... I'll get the excuse to buy a second one then! Heehee...

I also saw this video in the mail... VIDEO

The guys' got some funny limp wrist backhand there (VIDEO 2 and 3)! LOL! *wonder if i do that :p* But the one on video 6... WOW! My dream shot! If I could do that, its gonna help me so much! And for those dreamy tennis beginners, THAT (video 1) is the best serve technique to learn!

Oh well, back to mugging for now... Just a little more... And maybe i can get sleep! Heehee...

2007-02-15T00:08:00.000+08:00

Wee~! 30th post anniversary!... lol... not anything much... I just realised the post count...

IPC
yet another module i lost hope in getting an A... sob... my GPA this sem... I'll be happy to keep it above 3.2... What a great drop... The paper today was managable, just lotsa mistakes i made around lost me everything... I even read my calculator wrongly!!! OH! And that stuck up invigilator... My part I didn't hear the announcement to only start READING... But he didn't have to shout out so loud to get me stopped... And he kept repeating "you didn't follow the rules" so many times and "its 268"... Wanna stand up and punch him in his face but debarment for IPC ain't funny, another 6 months of suffering...

When Heads and Tails collide
Yes, to the handful who understand what this means, it really did happen, when i was around! I didn't dare speak much during the time... So i just diverted some comments somewhere else to keep things neutral... Nothing happened... I doubt either side knows what happened...

About Valentine
Hmm... So much for valentine's... the only dates i had were with my IPC manual and Physio notes... Haiz... Wonder if next year's valentine's would be so screwed... Well, not like I had plans but I thought I should be at least free to do something special with someone...

So its 2 papers down and 2 more to go! Looks some distance away from the finish and I hope I've got the energy to pull through, especially after tommorow's paper... So to all I've left out or didn't meet, HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE'S DAY!

2007-02-14T02:09:00.000+08:00

Whee~! Firstly, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to ALL~! (and her especially)...

It's 2+am alr! Guess what, she came online! Hmm, well, its nthn much though... I don't wanna say or talk to her bout anything much... It's the exams now... Don't want her to be distracted like me...

It's less than 12 hours away from the paper!!! Let's do some maths shall we?

Taking time left till paper = 11hrs 45minutes
Time for Donnie to prepare to get out = 45minutes (the most)
Time for Donnie to reach school = 1hr 45miuntes
Time for Donnie to get his act up and start studying = 30minutes
Time Donnie wants to study = 5hrs
Time when Donnie wants to walk into the exam hall = 15minutes before time

When we minus everything from the time remaining,

Time Donnie has to sleep = 3hrs and 30minutes!!!!!!! and that's provided Donnie goes to sleep now!!! Argh!!!!!! Time for bed!!! Time for bed!!!

2007-02-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

The 3 Paper marathon is gonna begin in about 13 to 14 hours time... I've done quite abit of studying, but i'm still not confident enough to sit for any... I wanna say sorry to those I promised to study with but didn't make any arrangements...

I finished one round of IPC last night and this morning... I seem to understand it all but when i do a paper, I still needa refer... I CAN'T REFER TMR!!!

Finally got my hands on the recent exam papers... Well, at this time, i'd probably only have the time for one (if possible)... I'm gonna go to scholl early tmr to do another round...

I watched the trailer of epic movie not long ago... Its really funny! I had my laughs... Don't know why its so badly rated... Mebbe i'm not much of a movie critic... I wanna go watch it, but got no one to go with... TRAILER LINK

Anywaez, its back to studies... If i make it to 2am, i'll do another post...

2007-02-12T04:02:00.000+08:00

So bored i decided to blog at this unearthly hour...

Yes, damn sad, I'm mugging now... Only cuz been playing, napping, getting distracted so much i haven't finished my Microbio till now... Only 2 chapters more... Gonna finish it even if it means i don't sleep...

I've yet to touch IPC damn it... argh... Probably the one that bothers me alot... Pain in the arse but it holds the highest credits this sem... No choice...

The maths paper sucks! I totally flunked it, but not so bad that i'd fail... I want my A for maths one~~ *sob sob* I won't further elaborate my time at KAP with my friends after the paper then, since its been on all their blogs...

Man U won!!! Kinda expected but i didn't expect such a small margin... Should have been at least 3,4 or 5 nil! lolx... Don't so greedy lah... Save the goals for more important matches... At least everyone got off the pitch unscathed... Especially fatboy... heng neva get another yellow card... K i'll promise and leave the football analysis this Friday when i get home... So long since my first one...

I miss her, and greatly.. 2 days since i last talked to her, k, mebbe 3... Don't disturb her bah... Crucial 4 days... Even if she doesn't wanna study i should not disturb her rest...

Back to mugging!!! ABIT MORE ONLY!!!!!!!!

2007-02-08T20:11:00.000+08:00

The week's been slacky... i've studied... but covered very little... then while studying microbio yesterday, i realised something abt me... and, i'm really sad about it, if its true... why me? and i'm stuck with it... probably the rest of my life...

Everyone's so tensed... they're all afarid of tmr's paper when they usually pais attention in class... what makes me? i did a little blog hopping before dinner... read quite a few blogs... my friends, they've all got prob one way or the other... and it took me till now to find out... i've been left out alot, and its been weeks that i've been asking myself, "am i doing my part as a friend?" and the answer recurrs to me everytime as "no"... i'm sorry...

I'm struggling to keep my priorities right... i either get distracted by minor stuff, or my thoughts float away and i start thinking about her... i'm hoping the exams get over soon... i wanna be able to have her undivided attention again... she's probably my biggest motivation to get over this period

I took the risk to go get my hair cut this morning... wasted hell lot'a precious time waiting when my mum did her hair...

I'm suffering from a splitting headache now... i hope i can get a lil rest n get up to study again... maths is tmr, i'm nervous cuz frm the surface, it looks like i understand everything, but i'm scared when i do qns, its a diff story...

2007-02-03T02:17:00.000+08:00

Its been some time... Wow... so many things happened... Don't know if i remember everything... But before it all, i say that ARSENAL SUCKS!!! BOO!!! Last minute luck... I should have had my chance to wear my jersey already...

Tennis
Training has officially ended for the semester... Sux... I'm gonna lose all that form after the exam period for sure... My racket got restrung not long ago... I hate the tension, but somehow getting used to it... THere was some dispute over the coach though... Some of the guys actually wanted to sack Stanley... Haiz... Dumb idea lah... Well, looking at all the coaches in Singapore... Doubt anyone can give us the fun that Stanley gives... We've decided that Stanley's gonna stay, and we've got lotsa benefits in the coming time, like another 2 coaches...
I've broken the all time curse of beating Paul-Jon!!! Its been 5 years or more since i met him... Since then, his standard was juz way above mine... I'm proud to actually hold on from a 1-5 score to come back and take the set 7-6!! I kinda owe it to the physical fitness and mentality though... Guess i've got the edge over him for that...

Dancesports
Awe shucks... Its all over!!! No more ler... Today's lesson was abt our assessment and some videos... Kinda bored though... I thought we could have seen the videos then take our assessment... Mebbe we would have been sharper... So happy both my partners danced well today... So proud of em!

Soccer
I wanted to go for the afternoon dancesports... But since its assessment today, wouldn't be good to go if i didn't have a partner... Its ok... I went home and brought my sis to the field to kick around...
I regret not bringing out my phone or my cam... I shot 2 unsavable free kicks that were just, sublime...... Gawd... I didn't know i could do that! I'll make sure i'll get a video if not a pic of it next time i go...

Marathon Tests
Start of the week and i'm hit with 3 days of tests! Hoh hum... I flattened by the end of the first test... I panicked during the mb test... Think i'll do badly for it... Haiz... Then there was the physio and IPC pract tests... Dumb lorh... Screwed my calculations and got me only a 29... Haiz... Physio was still not bad, considering i studied for it in less than a morning... :P

Affairs of the Heart
Things have started to take shape... I've been given a wake up call, and see where i stand now... Well, my choice wasn't so "supported", but it's my life that's effected... I don't want anyone to intervene in any of this... If I made a mistake, i can only blame myself for it...
I've been talking to her quite often recently... The happy stuff have really been enjoyable and most of the rest was related to work... Its been really bogging most of my mind these 2 weeks... I felt that she was giving me different vibes, nothing like before... And its getting me worried... Well, we talked about it... She's got her reasons, and i understand... After the wake up, my feelings for her have been stronger... Unlike before, where i could actually feel for someone new... It's harder for anything like that to happen, well, so far its been...
Everything's hanging on the line now... She doesn't know where to go... I don't want to bother her so much since its really near the final exams... I know she's worried, and I deffinitely don't want our studies to get in the way of how we're progressing now... I'm thinking about this alot, and it occupies my mind heavily... I still think it's worth it, she's worth it...

2007-01-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

So tiring, yet so fun... The last 2 days have gave me something to feel happy about...

Open house
I've always wanted to do something for my school to give potential students memorable moments on their visit... Well, not much i got to do... I got a task of dressing up as Wolverine on the 2 days of open house... Its a tiring and burning job... just unbearable at times... the costume is just so thick! and i have to don some fake sideburns which made me look really like the real deal... But its an intersting job to do, though you get the stares and people poking fun at you (damn mats!)... people taking lotsa pics with me but i juz don't remember who... i want my pics!!! i did think of going down today to do ushering but was too tired to get up... training killed...

Dancesports
I had a great time today at dancesports... Finally didn't feel so odd about salsa... today was probably the day i talked to Roxanne the most... private stuff, something we're gonna keep between ourselves, I hope... haha... yet to finish our discussion about things...

CATS
I thought it was gonna be kinda dumb... going for CATS even though the main gradings are done already... but it was fun... we built a bridges out of 30 straws, 5 satay sticks and 1m long of tape, aiming to hold a 20 cent coin without letting it touch the floor... the record was 126 cm long... our group was nontheless, the most divided... Ka Wai was really persistent on proving his "building knowledge" was the best, while Vanessa had lotsa ideas which were unworkable, but just wouldn't get the point that it wouldn't be much of the help... Denise, well, was in with things, but bothered more on the length than the support ability... and Zhi Hui, well, she just sat there waiting for whichever idea reigns and do whatever she's required to... Our final product was successful, not without the help of Jonathan who helped to extend our initial length to 130 cm! wee! Ka Wai just didn't contribute at all, trying his own stuff alone while we worked on things... so f-ed... just wouldn't get the point... though we didn't set the record the other group did (132), i was still proud we broke the previous one, going above my target of 100 i set when i looked at how divided our team was...

Training
Wee!!! I love my form today, both skill and physical wise! i've did alot of brilliant shots and played out good tactics... i didn't get used to my racket at the start, being really inconsistent with the wierd tension it had since i just got it back... I played a friendly with david and led alot until my serves screwed up and lost 10-15 in the end...
Stan was just crazy today, saying it is mentallity training... i think its more of physical torture... i pushed myself all the way, and thank god i din puke though i didn't eat much all day... didn't fail any of the drills and performed 100% for physical training, though i expected 110... the initial drills were just horrid until i got the hang of the racket... after training, i was still able to perform very well, quick volley relaxes and trick shots well did... another great thing is that i've seem to be able to communicate with the team... wonder what's got into them or me...
today's performance: consistency: 7, power: 7, volley: 9, serves: 6, winners: 8, physical: 9, tactics: 8, match play: 8, form: 8... overall: 7.78... not bad to say the least but i'm gunning for an 8 overall on the next training...

Issues of the Heart
I'm not sure how its gonna be now... I'm really having bad moments with both girls now... both don't seem interested in talking to me now exept for work matters only... both also seem to be close with guys... i'm not sure if i'm being over-sensitive about this, but it really bothers me everytime i look or think about it... I'm dumbstruck, awed, whatever you call it... just don't know where I stand right now... I can't decide... really, but my heart keeps telling me to continue waiting for "her" and give up on the other... god knows what keeps telling me not to do anything... my "RAM" got limited memory one leh... wait run too many things at one go will lag... i'm still confused... i hope i'll be able to choose good in this crossroad...

I'm still kinda bogged down by project and work... There's a certain amount of workload for me to clear before i get down to studying... I hope they'll just go away or get cancelled, then i can do what i really need to... FAT HOPE, i know... i've got so much on my mind already... kills to be awake and being conscious to matters on hand...

2007-01-17T01:04:00.000+08:00

Big contrasts between these 2 days... From a very horribly ruined day to smtn to be high about

Monday (15th Jan)

Monday blues struck, and it struck hard! Early morning, these 2 girls at the bus stop flagged for the bus, but guess they didn't really do it properly or smtn... The bus just wheezed passed! Wa kau!!! The uncle must be blind or something... So many people waiting for him to stop he just drive off...

The day in school didn't have much to be sad about... I was just really dissapointed in myself... I dozed off during lessons! IPC! Haiz... Sad lorh... Luckily i didn't do that for MB... Then Dr Ho got me to do X-men duty on all 3 days of the open house... But the final schedule came out, and i was juz gonna be cyclops for 2 days... Heng arh! Give me my saturday off!

I took a bus to training with Hui Fen, then we were trying to predict the weather... It was looking bad on and off... and got me worried... Irregular training ain't gonna do for me... Thk god the weather looked to be on my side...

Bad news broke out when i was there... I waited for an hr and no one else turned up exept the coach! Then he decided to cancel training! No!!! I lugged my stuff here and he cancelled it like that! F- you guys lah! Lazy bums! Then when i went to re-string my racket, the guy said it could only be done by Wednesday... I freakin' need it the next day!!! I started going dead already...

The way home was sucky... Bus trip so long... I watched tv mobile... Didn't even have the mood to watch so you think you can dance... I only liked the Benji and Travis hip-hop routine tho... Thought it was the only one which stood out... By the time i got off, i was just dead tired... So blur, i almost got knocked down by a taxi while crossing the road to buy my dinner... Blind uncle... rather, dumb me...

Even the auntie must make fun of my day... KNN!!! She like re-took my order 3 times! last one she thought i wanted 2 packets... then had some settlement between her and the chef... haiz... waste my time... Then i had to walk from place to place around the market to get my mum the newspaper... Shit lorh... What rotten luck you can gena in one day...

Tuesday (16th Jan)

Nice day to start... I had like 10 hours sleep last night to forget about the whole day... I woke up and saw the results of last night's Singapore match... We won 11-0 larh! WTH happened to Laos??? LOL... it was still good for the national team... I made sure i flagged the bus myself this time... I went out later so it was bright and sunny... No excuse for the uncle to have night blindness...

Eddy Ong lecture boring as usual lorh! Lucky dere's alwiz us to spice things up a lil in the front row... Or not i sleep for sure...Well, there's MB presentation... Luckily i got it done today... Dr Ho do 3 people only then stop alr... Poor Nadj... He's gotta go another week... Then Dr Ho was trying to recruit people last minute to do the X-men thingy... "Didn't know" my class girls so shy lorh... haha... no one did... I tried roping in Lesley for it... So sad she juz say no like that...

Haiz... damn maths lecture... I suffered from a bad headache from it lorh! I didn't understand much, but kinda saw some sense into things... Then i just slept away for the last 2 questions the emu did... Haiz... So glad it was over!!! Then it was to fill my stomach... Augustine dropped by the booth... Then i watched Borat on his laptop while eating and tending the booth... So darn hilarious!!! And sick also! Nowonder its R21... But i still wanna watch finish! Next time go copy from his laptop or smtn :P

Yay i got training at last!!! Today's training dunnoe y so tiring... Tho we didn't really do much... Mark sabo me lorh! 6 ball drill we thought 4 ball then he cut into the court then we both stun... Then cuz i didn't touch the ball coach restarted my 6 ball drill! Knn... I took my racket for restringing and used my old one... Sad lah... I blasted alot of balls out during the last quarter of training... Other than that i think i still did well with my racket... Greg approached me in the toilet and told me don't get pressured by the team's performance cuz i screwed badly when i played as his doubles partner...

Well, tmr there's no lessons... But there's IPC project to do tmr... So still gotta head down... At least got excuse to go for GLs lah... Or not i slack at home whole day ler... And i've yet to do my lab reports and tutorials! and MOL too! bleagh... Betta find some time... still got lotsa studying to catch up with~

2007-01-14T01:47:00.000+08:00

wee! today was really great! GLs had an outing to Sentosa! We took loadsa pics! hehe... had a nice day out... played alot... bonded well with lotsa GLs i don't talk much to usually... we all had fun... especially wif beach soccer! heehee... i assisted 3 out of our 4 goals k? even had an amazing long distance shot which got saved... haiz... wasted... well, we played lotsa fun ball games!

well, the day finished with a pleasant suprise at home... Godpa gave me a belated b'day prezzie... i din actually think it wld be a man u jersey! thx loads to Godpa! but on second thought, i juz thought it really din haf to go so ex... i found out my blog betrayed me again! dumby you!!! argh! Godpa got the info dat i wanted the jersey frm my blog! Amanda told him i think... haiz... and den mum came and told me about it... i dunnoe if i shd cry for happiness or cry cuz i've made such a dumb mistake! and den mum said dad read my blog or smtn! how am i gonna ever post anything here without my mum and dad seeing?! i'm gonna hafta change blog or smtn... and i'm gonna tell my family if i do! haiz... really frustrating... mebbe i shd stop blogging and keep things to myself frm now... its not only my family i wanna keep things from... i really don't know... its all you dumb blog! its ALL CUZ OF U!!!

2007-01-10T21:25:00.000+08:00

it was dissapointing. yesterday. i wanted so much of the day. all turned sour. i couldn't understand why. my high hopes always fail me. no one did it unto me. i did unto myself. i think.

i feel something new now. when i'm with her. i feel happy. comfort. softness. at the same time. jealousy. worry. heavy down at my heart. have i gotten feelings for another already. no idea. it hurts. i wanna tell her. but i'm afraid. i've tried enough in 2006. and failed just as many. i just wanna let things stand. but i can't. everyday i think of it. it hits me down just as hard. i'm tired. things are slowly getting intense everywhere. i don't want to be pulled down so much because of this. i'm lost.

i took it all out on training. i held on to the gastric pain in my abdomen. i felt it throughout. the acid. the burn. i didn't care. i wouldn't mind if things ended. would i. i performed well. maybe becuz i was driven. driven by jealousy. hate. anger. it worked out. but i paid the price. i puked. when the night ended. it was a good sign. i'm improving. sad. suffering all the way home. i just beared with it. tried slumping into bed. more things worried me. i thought. just when things aren't better.

2007-01-05T23:53:00.000+08:00

Birthday Post

I really wanted to keep things at a low profile today... Every year i celebrate my Birthday, the worst happens... But i didn't want things to go wrong this year, not on my 18th...

First tick of the clock
I fell asleep last night at 9 and woke up at the stroke of midnight... I promised today, no emo or sad music... So i just skipped all of such genres... After returning from the toilet, i found conversations opening, greetings from frens who knew it my my birthday... The first was Anwar... He's really on abt it... Think he came when i signed in... There's Jie Ying and Joel who knew from the forum... And Weng... Anwar said he wanted to do a birthday song for me during CATS while i had a long talk with Weng... I only slept at 4, disobeying Weng and went to play soccer after signing out...

Bright and Shining!
Thank god it was not bright and shining! My alarm went off twice but i still refused and juz shooshed them both... I was lucky enough to wake up at 6! Along the way, I got quite a few birthday smses from a few friends... And Dad didn't forget my birthday after all! I got one from him too, but was wondering what he was doing at 3a.m in Dubai!Then I got caught in a jam along the way to school (typical first day students) but still got to the dance studio earliest... Not like its good... Usually I'd have Dawn or Hui Fen to company me before Melvin comes...

SW
Dance was funny today... There was this plump lady who walked into the dance studio before class... Then Melvin thought she was a student and ask straight away "are you here for make-up?"... He then found out she was the new officer in-charge of the Student Development thingy of NP, and she was gonna watch the lesson... So i told Nadj and gang to screw up our routine in front of the officer (of cos joking only lah)... I could see that Melvin was getting nervous at times during the class... We did well at first... Melvin finished the jive routine with the final step... Yay! It's gonna be salsa next week! But then he threw a suicide gamble by making us do our cha-cha routine... Lolx! We really, not intentionally, screwed the routine in front of the officer for him! Haha... It took us a few runs to finally get the steps back... Could see the officer laughing at times...

CATS
Anwar somehow told Denise about my birthday... Then I got into class to have my first greeting in school... haiz... Doesn't look good... Vanessa knew immediately after she sat down... Then halfway during class, Anwar started a birthday song for me... And itchy hand Ka Wai and Jonathan came to give me "pats" on my back... Haiz... Then Lesley sent me an sms and Ka Wai saw it... Then he told Denise and they started "suspecting" why i would have her number... She actually rmb-ed my birthday! Wee~ Well, I'm happy to have such friends... Really am... But ain't looking good... More people are sure to know...

Lunch
I went for a mass lunch with Dawn and gang... While waiting for them at the lift lobby, word got out and Hui Xian started another birthday song for me... Lolx... Then at the canteen, Alvin came up to me to wish me happy birthday... Haiz... He found out abt it from the dumb friendster email... Alright, more people know about it now... Then I went to watch a movie with Dawn and Nian Shun... Death Note 2! Yay! I haven't watched the first one yet lah!

Movie at PS
We saw a cardboard cut out of Death Note 2... So Dawn and I decided to pose as L and Misa...

Wah to movie was so nice! I could pick up the thing even though i didn't watch the first part... Then Dawn had lotsa qns during the movie... Wonder if she really did watched the first part... The plot of the movie was great! Lotsa twists and turns! I didn't expect anything like it... But would disagree with others that the ending sucks...

Dinner
I had to leave quick to meet mum and sis at Tampinese cuz the movie ended later than expected... I met both Joyce's from my primary school while walking around Tampinese central... The first one almost didn't recognise me as we breezed past but she called my name so i turned... Its been some time since we last met... The second one was really noticable... She was in her sch U... I went to the new Japanese restraunt near the sports complex... Though it was cheap there, the food was really great! I had a craving for salmon today... so i took lotsa stuff dat had salmon in it! Ryl went to get my b'day present so all i had to do was pretend i didn't know about it...

Home
Haiz... Home sweet home! I really love it when i step back in... It gives me the feeling and security, like i can just collapse and faint any time and would be really comfortable... I went to take a shower before mum came back... My sis still refused to give me my present even though i know she bought it... As soon as mum came back, i went to have my birthday cake! Heehee... I lurved it! Just the flavour i wanted! Then Ryl gave me my present... Din expect yet another tortoise! Haha... Though its small, I appreciate it coming from her... Got the thought... She knows i like the tortoise...

Well, I'm really glad nothing bad has happened today, despite what happened the previous few years... There are still people who don't know about my birthday... So i decided to play along as though its a regular day... I'm really dissapointed at a few things tho... I din get to go out with Hui Fen today... I thought we might have since I was gonna be with people she knows well... Really dampening... Then we were gonna test out the mini version of our CATS product tmr... I really fear it would fail... It's gonna put a big hole in our presentation then... I'm just hoping for the best... I was also kinda sad that the seemingly big group at the start was reduced to 3 to go to the movies today... I thought it would be some time i could hang out with friends on my birthday... Nontheless, the fun was still there... I wanna thank Nian Shun and Dawn for the fun... I'm sure they were dissapointed too, so I'm glad I didn't p.s them last minute... Well, my feelings for "???" are kinda blur now... I really don't know what to do... Sometimes i get strong signs from her, but at times, she seems to be detering me... I'm really confused... Its tiring me out further... I don't know... I wanna get an answer, but I don't know who to turn to this time...

2007-01-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

Its been an eventful day... I'm really, really, tired... but thank goodness school doesn't start at 8a.m tmr... Can Get an extra 4 hours sleep!

Early Morning
Woke up early today to go get a hair cut... Had to make an appoinment actually... Hairstylist was too busy... I just watched people coming in one after another... Really had to thank the appointment or i'd neva have gotten it done... Then I went to run some errands with mum after lunch... We bought lotsa stuff for praying... And my jacket has yet to return! Dumb laundry shop! Manager send it back for rewash for something then said two days, and that was last FRIDAY!!! Wait I burn it down then he know arh! WAHAHAHA!

Marina Bay Dinner
Dinner was a blast! I didn't wanna talk again when I met my friends... I was lost in what they were talking about... But we went to the arcade to wait for Jie Ying and Alvin to come... That's where I started joking around and got more into the group... I saw this really cool soccer game which involves cards! WAH! I wanna have em! Even though I won't go to the arcades to play it often, I still wanna keep those cards!
Then we went for our steamboat dinner... We kept making fun of Eddy and his baby stuff... Dunnoe how it started even... But i know I did have a good time! Playing with food and stuff... haha... Then half of the group decided to go for a walk while the others stayed to eat more! I found out that Mr Mak was hospitalised for rashes which led to fever or something like that... A few of us decided to go visit him tmr then... Then I told the group I was gonna start work soon in the MLM company my parents are in... They all discouraged me when I breathed out the word "MLM"... I know that all of them did have bad experiences with it,and were thinking well for me... But this is something I'd wanna try and do for a long term... It's not like what they think! Haiz... Ignore it lah... My mind is made up, and my Mum encourages me to go for it... So why not?
I thought it was the end of the day, when we just needed to go to the "seaside" to pass the bags to those who went there earlier... It was then that I saw a few of them emo-ing (haiz....) one corner... Then Jie Ying and Davin were gone to have their time together... I thought they were being romantic and stuff, not knowing what happened recently and what was going on...
Moments later, Davin stormed in our direction and told us he was going home... He did look a lil pissed and was walking off pretty fast... Then Abel, Nikki and Jeremiah left to look for Jie Ying as has been a while... We got a call to say that Jie Ying was missing! Oh Man!!! Was panic there, wondering what she would do... I took her bag and ran with the others to find her...
After a long run down the park connector, we reached an ulu toilet... We thought Abel had found her already, but only to find they were having a toilet break... Then we continued our search... We ran into quite a few cross roads, and decided that she could have only went straight after we asked a couple sitting along the path...
We finally found Jie Ying at the end of the path! I thought it was all gonna be over... But when i got close, she told me not to go over... The girls decided to send me over (thinking I was sensible:P) to go talk to her cuz she was walking further and further away and to somewhere dark... I tried persuading her to go back to the group, but she just refused... So I gave up hope on getting home early risked a scolding so I could follow her, just to make sure she's safe... I sms-ed the group to follow us up the ECP, the direction I planned to take Jie Ying so she would be safe...
Jeremiah called Davin back, or so I heard... He's a good guy, has a good heart, and doesn't act impulsively, or not he wouldn't have ran back receiving the news that Jie Ying was missing... I accompanied Jie Ying as we walked, trying my best to cheer her up or talk something into her... I just felt so useless then, my words hardly having any effect on her... I did get her tears away for that time, but she was just able to hold'em back betta... I'm sorry Jie Ying, and guys... I couldn't do anything... I persuaded her time and time again that she should go home, only for her to tell me a little more, but I didn't wanna probe or bring any more worries to her mind... We walked to Suntec City and got there at 10... We went down to Mac's so that some people could get a drink... Jie Ying only asked for her bag from me so she could go change... I left with Jeremiah then, leaving her to the group...
By the time Jie Ying got out of the toilet, she sms-ed me... I really hope she's alright... She did promise me that she'll go home... That I thought, was the only good thing I accomplished today... She was "escorted" back, I think... It was good... And Davin could go home, knowing that she was safe... I really hope they work things out soon, and Jie Ying's troubles subside quick... She's meant for happiness and giving it... I wish her well, I really do...

2007-01-02T02:02:00.000+08:00

First Post of 2007
Its a brand new year! Feels like its really fast, now that i'm just 5 weeks away from finishing year 1... It felt like FOC was just yesterday, and now... WOW, nothing like this! Its been an eventful week, this week though, catching up with old friends and celebrated a few occasions...

X'mas party at Amanda's
It wasn't much of a party though, just a dinner get together for my family and relatives... It was huge... I ate lotsa great stuff, but din get my dose of alcohol this time... Its ok, i'll be legal enough to get some the next time round... I got to try out Need for Speed Carbon on the PS3! OH man, it was awesome! The graphics and stuff, they were so real! What an experience it was!

Kok Thye in SG
My bro from Malaysia was in town this X'mas! I went to Vivo to meet him along with the SPS Ipoh 2004 Gang... We had lotsa fun, though we didn't go to the movies or the arcade and stuff... Lotsa catching up to do, so little time... We had our share of laughs, including his Sentosa Poly... Then we passed by Best Denki and Linus went to try out the electronic drum set... Woah... He attracted quite a crowd there! He was playing it and people were just entertained by his skill (if only i were that musicallly inclined) Then I left them cuz Linus and Rishik wanted to take him jamming... Haiz... Nthn there for me...

Ben Yee
Right after i left the group, i went down to Tampinese to meet Ben, supposedly for tennis... Then we brought 2 batminton rackets, saying it was backup... Yup, we really did need backup, it poured crazily! Settled for batminton then... We shared some laughs, did a lil catching up at the same time... Still was great even though it was just a few hours...

Mum's Birthday
We went to Hotel Intercontinental for lunch! Wee! It was a buffet! We sat there for like 2 and a half hours! Food was just great! Ate non-stop... But the dessert was just awesome! I've never seen such variety before! A whole bar full of dessert! But by the time i wanted to try them, they were serving the last batch already, so i took whatever i could find there, thinking i still could fit them all down my stomach... Never have i thought, dessert could be this filling! Haha... felt so bloated! Its good! needa gain a lil weight...
Then we bought a cake for mum, and since dad wasn't around this year, i paid for it... I told mum to get whichever she liked, but she chose something cheap, mebbe cuz she knew i was paying for it... But my sis told me that she did like those kinda cakes, so it was kinda relieving...

P-J
Awe sec sch bro was back from aussie! He brought good knews that he was accepted for med-school! He's really over the moon about it, and I couldn't be more happier for him! We played tennis... I finally won him! Its been a spell since, ever! Neva beaten him before... He did win me in the set games though... Thought i played good enough to hold off despite my bad form... He joked i had as many double-faults as his aces... I had to agree with that though... I just laughed along...
So i went down to his place to shower and chill out and catch up since i didn't come out to meet him the last time he came back to SG... We played FIFA 05 on his lappy and i was struggling to get used to his controls... Then we watched Friends a lil... It was just hilarious! Missed those nights when i could have a good laugh... I wanna borrow the CDs from him! Then we watched his collection of Liverpool videos... He gave me sorta some history tour of LFC... haha... then i didn't realise i was running late for the SCC concert! I left his place then, walking some distance to the bus-stop...

SCC Concert
I thought i'd come late though... The bus took ages to come! The concert was really great though! To all those who thought it was gonna be lousy, BLEAGH!! Too bad for those who missed it... I met Chin Koon there... He came over to say hi and i almost didn't recognise him... Then i saw he was with Hui Ting, whom i talked to since the FOC! I sat beside her during the concert... She was ditracted by the "pre-concert entertainment" courtesy of a horny couple (well, at least the guy was horny) sitting a row in front of us... The guy took advantage of his girlfriend's loose blouse and pulled her sleeves down to kiss her shoulders... Hui Ting got really distracted by it during the concert and kept nudging me and CK when there was "activity" going on... He giggled there alot about it! Then i went to meet Hui Fen at the half-time interval... We talked behind Hui Ting so she heard everything... And i didn't wanna give the prezzie infront of Hui Ting... So we agreed to meet after the concert... When i sat back down, Hui Ting poked fun at me with "Call me later lah"... It was what Hui Fen told me before she left...
So it was back to the "entertainment"... Hui Ting, haiz...... she's juz too high... even start tugging my shirt... lolx!
Well, overall, i did think it was really worth watching this performance! Shd have cost more than the NRA one i think... :P
Went to meet Hui Fen after the concert to give her the prezzie... Hui Ting was kinda dissapointed her horny couple left... Think she wanted more...

New Year's Eve
It was a really boring day actually, nothing much happened... But it surprised me when mum decided to let me go out for countdown with Ben... So i called Hui Fen along since I was talking to her then and she said she had no plans... It would be twice in 2 days we've met already...
Met Ben for dinner first... We joked alot again at Mac's, targeting almost everything for a laugh... Then we got really indecisive as to where we were gonna go... So i thought we'd head down to Dauby Ghaut to play pool first or something since i was to meet Hui Fen there...
Haiz... got whooped all the way lorh... my pool sucked... Then i almost beat the all time high record for the stress game but just blew it all away... I went out a lil bit to bring Hui Fen in, but later, Ben's pal, Zai (dunnoe how ta spell) decided to meet us... Oh man, i got whooped even harder... Really a bad sight... but i just joked about it as if i didn't care... dun wanna let it ruin my night out... Freakin pool cost me $17.60 lah! Haiz... Nvm lah... I didn't pay Ben for the dinner anywaez, but he can still treat me another time with the remainder...
Then we walked along clarke quay all night... trying to find the pub or club Zai was going... But it wasn't in time for the countdown so we decided to stop somewhere to look at fireworks... Haha... we were so silly, standing at the wrong side... We only got to see the reflections on the building... Well, its my first time out on the stroke of New Year... I'm just happy to spend it with the people i want to... Then the 4 of us continued to find the place, but then gave up not long later and decided to walk aimlessly... We were walking anti-traffic most of the time... See lotsa people on the streets getting high, as well as many policemen keeping things in order... Then we found ourselves taking a narrow route which was just congested with people! It took us almost forever to get out! Then when we finally did, we were blank again! It was not long later when we bumped into Alvin and Charmaine! What coincidence it was! Then Ben met his friends as well... Could sense Hui Fen was a lil dissapointed not being able to meet any of her friends... Then we decided to part ways with Ben and Zai since they had other plans and Hui Fen didn't wanna go with it... I offered Hui Fen my hand to get her up from where she was seating and she took it... We held hands for a while till Ben and Zai couldn't hold their "astonishment" and we let go... Then I decided to hitch a ride from Charmaine's Dad so i could get back... I felt like an idiot once i got in the car! Shouldn't have left Hui Fen there to let her go back alone, even if I knew she was with Alvin! Haiz... I felt i've let her down... I asked her out, then left her out there... Really un-gentlemanlly of me... Couldn't help but worry bout her all the time... Should've asked her to stay over at Charmaine's place or something, at least i know she'd be safe... It wasn't till bout 3 that i knew she got on a cab... Thx lots to Alvin for looking out for her... I slept only at 4.30, when i couldn't wait for blogger to load...

I wanna do a to thank list for 2006... Think i should really acknowledge some people for making this year great... So~

To-Thank List 2006 (In noe particular order)
Ms Shakthi Siva - My Bio and Chem teacher when i was in sec 3... she taught me lotsa stuff about discipline as well as in organizing events and management outside the classroom... She brought me from the little unknown chinese kid to a matured boy who could understand things better and take things in my stride... She was the one who still believed i wouldn't drop out of either Chem or Bio though my grades were pretty inconsistent then... It was her that took me from the quiet boy who sat in council meetings to president of the board who called and pesterd everyone to get their share of work done... I've not regretted being her student one bit...

Mr Ng Chong Jin - My student council teacher who took over Ms Siva when she left for further studies... He taught me the value of managing man-power and plan-b... I've matured even further under him, and it was him and Ms Siva who inspired teaching as a career upon me... Though he did not teach me in any subject, he still cared about my grades when I was in SPS...

Ms Teo Bee Hoon - Don't make fun of her name! She's a really cool teacher who has a great sense of humour! She took alot of time out of her buys schedule to help me in my maths during the critical period of sec 4... I'm proud to say my maths are 2 out of the 3 A2s in my O's cert, though it ain't much of an accomplishment...

Mr Chok Sit Fatt - My A-maths tutor! haha! neva seen any old man as funny as he is! He took my A Maths from the dying F9 to the consistent B's... He encouraged my to study more, especially for his out-of-this-world-test! Too bad i couldn't bring an A1 back for him... He would've been happy...

DAD!!! - My physics "tutor"... He thought me alot about electronics... Something he's really good at! I'm so proud of him! He's always inspired me not to give in to fatigue... Though he ain't have much academic qualifications, I'm so fortunate to have him as a dad... I'm really thankful for his strictness as well, though it makes him a real pain at first... Its kept me on the right track of life, so I could live it out fully... His old fashion mentallity also brings laughter at times... And how he worked really hard to provide for my comfortable life, I'm really ever-greatful for... No one like him, ever...

MUM!!! - She's done more of her share in providing as well, when Dad wasn't really doing much on the outside... She tried hard to make sure things looked alright on the outside during the hard time of the year... I'm really happy for that... her humour has always brightened up my day... Never failed to hold my laughter no matter how bad the day... Its her and Dad that keeps me off the brink of suicide all the time... It's dumb to waste their effort, no matter how many mistakes...

Godpa! - He's given me some stuff my parents won't get me, though i didn't mention anything to him... He's the one bringing me to most of the movies i've watched this year... And he's the one doing lotsa stuff that involves technology for me... It's what he's a master at... He's checked me and my studies, life and stuff, like a real dad, just not as often... I feel I really let him down in keeping our conversations short-lived...

My sis, Cheryl - I wanna shout out that "I HATE STAYING AT HOME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU CUZ U'VE MADE ME MISS SO MUCH OUT OF LIFE!!! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" haiz... dat felt better... but on the flip side, its taught me alot about responsibility... I think its really important that I miss out now then regret not doing my part as a brother as much as i can now... I'm happy that our age gap is this big cuz i know my influence on her is gonna be big, and it gives me even more chances to learn on discipline... Thx for understanding when i need company and when i need to be alone... No one (i think) knows better than she does... Its alot she can give for being a 10 year old kid... And her funny antics just make her really cute... haha... more soft toys for you so you can keep me happy!

The second pillow on my bed - Yes, its dumb, very extra on a super-single size bed... But its what I've been confiding to alot every night before I started blogging and even up till now, i still do... Ok, its weird for a guy like me, I know, but I'm really happy that this permanently on my bed... Wonder which room and when i took it from... haha...

Mr Ben Tan a.k.a uncle! - He's taken lotsa time out of his busy teaching schedule to play tennis with me... He's taught me alot about broadening my view on current events around the world... They help alot in maturing my thinking and understanding that things always aren't that one-way as i thought it would be...

Mr Matthew Mak - He's one of the best teachers I've had... Maybe i'm lucky to have him for his first semester where he works really hard to make things right... Think he's too good to be a lecturer... Haha... Better as a mentor as well... 1Mo4 is a lucky class... Also wanna thank him for understanding when i fall asleep in the front row of his lecture... Man, i feel damn bad... Thanks to him for my CBO grades as well... My only A+ lah!

Benjamin Yee - yep... always bringing me laughs... I'm always stunned by his creativity... no matter what it is used in... he's showed me how to relax as much as possible... admire how good he is at it... and thanks for making life in SPS so colourful for me...

Paul-Jon Goh - My bro since sec 1! So sad we had a bad spill out at one point of sec 3 cuz he changed alot all of a sudden and i couldn't accept much of it... I've regretted being so childish and not understanding... I've always looked up to him in studies... He's accomplished so much and so well, improving from his bottom of the class tally in sec 1 to the to-be Med-school student now... His high aims has always driven me to do better... And his tennis as well... The power, the mentallity and stuff he's taught me... He's played quite a part in my prgress there as well...

Tan Yong Quan Alvin - My bro in poly! Oh man, for this guy, I feel really guilty, and thankful for him... I'd be lost and a wondering soul in NP if not for him... He's filled up my queries no problem almost everytime and making exeptions for me alot... I feel like an ass being so cold to him for those few weeks... My fault fully... He didn't, and should never have gotten anything like that... And I'm glad he's never moved abit further away in our friendship after i came back to my senses... Thanks man!

Noor Nadjmi Mohammed Noor - I wonder if i got his full name right :P... this guy's got charisma, but sometimes takes things overboard... But it's still great! He completes another part of my existence in NP! Ohoh! I'm gonna be ever thankful for him teaching me how to shave! something my Dad would never teach me! haha... he's a good guy to be around with no matter how bad the day... He keeps his feelings really well, very hard to understand how he feels, other than being tired... He always helps when he can... And lotsa people trust him... I admire him for that... I also wanna thank him greatly for understanding as well when i treated him like trash during our bad spell... Haiz... I've really got to treasure my friends better... I don't get friends like Paul, Alvin and Nadj often... I'm really thankful for them being put into my life...

Darren Yong - This guy what one would call the devoted friend... I think he's one who's friend's-first... He finds out when you're down easily, and always tries to make you feel better... He's a brave guy despite his exterior, and I look up to him for that... For forming the brotherhood when i was hiding alot of my sadness really helped... Thx dude!

Chan Xiang Ling - Mr blur and wols... He's another part of the brotherhood, though he doesn't really like the idea of the room service shit... Still, I'm gonna try to get him into it! Haha... I wanna thank him for being so blur, cuz he's shown me I do need to company when I'm having a bad day... Thanks man!

Joel See Jian Liang - The Ace of Wols! I didn't like this guy at first... GLs showed me he was the total opposite of what i thought he was... He's the funny guy to be around... And also the important piece of the brotherhood room service "establishment"... LOL... He's made sure I feel i belong somewhere... That's really important to me... Thanks!

Stanley Armando - He's my current tennis coach... He's pushed me hard that I improve alot on my game, from power to recovery, serve technique, tactic awareness, physical fitness and even my basic stroke techniques as well... I'm lucky to have entered NP Tennis... He's also very understanding and knows when we're really pushing and burnt out and when we're lazy so he can adjust his training levels...

Jessica Khek - A real company she'll be whenever I'm with her... She's probably the one who sparked my interest for soccer back! Haha... Glory Man United! Luckily we support the same club... She's made me feel i'm not really alone on my first day in NP...

Ng Si Chung - He's the Darren of my life in SPS... always friends first! He's a really dependable guy and people should count themselves lucky if they are working around him... He's done lots, getting out of his way time and time again to do me small favours... Really appreciate him being around...

Cai Hui Fen - The girl who trusts me in teaching her in studies when i'm so blur as well as spend my first New Year's Eve out with me! I really had fun! Yep... She's made me really happy the last few day's of the year, and its such a pity I didn't get to know her earlier... Hope our freindship doesn't just stop where it is now...

Jie Ying a.k.a Mama Cotary - Haha... She's a fun bubble! Alwiz around no matter what my mood is... She's like a all terrain jeep, no matter what ur mood is, she gets along with you... And she's a good team player... Impt in our current GL batch... Makes sure she knows everyone and everyone knows each other so we feel like a big family...

Hmm... that's about it bah... this post took me long enough to do... Haiz... I needa get rest now... gotta wake up early tmr and enjoy the last day of my holis as much as possible! wee!!!

2006-12-24T02:54:00.000+08:00

It's been some time since I was here~ must've been really dusty when i wasn't around... Anywaez, pls be patient, it may be a long ride........~

Common Test
My goodness was that a huge relief!!! Argh!!! From only 2 weenie papers doubled to 4!!! Damn, am I not used to it!!! Well I feel kinda slacky overall with my performance... Barely managed to finish studying, some chapters weren't went through well enough though... I'm so happy that I actually think I have a shot at getting a B for Microbio!!! That 2/10 test just keeps staring at me everytime i flip past it in my file (so dampening)! Hope I get to catch up with the others! Well IPC was really tough, guess I underestimated Dr.Kueh... His paper really needed lotsa thinking! I got the cohort an additional 15 minutes though... Dr.Kueh was observant to check up on a few of us during the paper to view how we're managing it... Guess he knew an hour was too little for his paper! Physio was a blast! Boring 2hrs! There was so much time, I sat there for half an hour to force out 1 mark! Thank goodness it paid off!

Cameron Trip
Just after a day slacking and moaning out the pain of the common test, it was the cameron trip! I was really looking forward to it, but didn't realise it would be so soon! It was a night departure by bus... I went out to the main road to get a cab cuz my place was too ulu

Wee! Off I went! The bus played DOA and i only watched it halfway cuz the beach volleyball scene caught my eyes big time... But what i really wanted out of the bus trip was the pit stop... Oh yay! Ramley Burger! Malaysia's got the original recipe...its really gr8! Cheaper than a fish or chicken burger at mac's and it packs so much!

I got there at about 6.30am in the morning... Had breakfast in some run down hawker centre that served really nice nasi lemak and teh tarik! Then i realised that was actually where I had to get off to go to the hotel, and the hotel is like a long twisting journey from the town up the mountain! Strawberry Farm was what it was called... It was a great place! really cooling! As soon as i saw the TV in the room, my eyes lit up! wahahaha....

Off it was on the first tour... I named our driver/mini tour guide "ah bang" (malay for brudder) cuz he was a typical, calm and relaxed mat... :p he's really familiar with this place, having only 4 years of experience, mostly on the shopping tours... I visited a realy tea plantation! like the one in the geography textbook! (Eat this my Geog reference book!)

Then ah bang took us to the highest peak of cameron highlands, 6666 feet (or was it metres?) above sea level! it started pouring slightly on the way up, but it was heavy wind with light showers by the time we got down! I still tried to go to the top of the veiwing tower, just to get to the "real" peak of cameron, haha... It was ubber cool! I got to take a pic of myself up there but found out mother nature was kinda good a hairstylist herself!

Oh goodness, the way down was really scary! The stairs looked narrower than before! I thought of going down backwards but i would just hold up the traffic behind me... Next it was to the cream of the crop of tea makers, the BOH tea factory

This place was boring... as if i would wanna know how to make tea from tea leaves! It was dumb, till i got to try some of the tea they produced! I love the passion fruit tea they have! Its aroma was juz heavenly! No need for sugar, milk or anythin for it to taste great!

The first tour concluded with a unsignificant trip to a native village, but i did learn quite abit on their past, how they are seprated, school and stuff... Then we went back to the hotel to take a short rest before heading out to explore the town in the night scene

Wah the place was really great! Lotsa shops, and oh yes, the signature product of almost, and mostly every souvenier store or booth there, is either a blown up plastic strawberry or a soft and spongy strawberry keychain... You wouldn't be considered as coming to cameron unless you went how with either one! I bought 2 of the keychains though... wonder who i should give one to...

Anywaez, we had some small but delicious steamboat for dinner, after i got myself a "stressball" from a stall... Then it was the night market that comes only every 2 years, or something like that... That's where i got the keychains... Lotsa stalls there, mostly selling the same thing over and over, corn (plain or roasted), preserved food, plants and cactuses, keychains, small souveniers, caps and shirts, like those found in your regular pasar malam...

We bought dinner back for my grandma after we left and i shared with her cuz it was a big packet of fish head curry! Yippee! I had something to eat while watching the night's EPL matches! Mum let me stay up to watch all of them, but i fell asleep during the West Ham - Man U match... guess i was too tired to even cheer them on...

The next day started off on a good note! Breakfast was a buffet at the hotel! I stuffed myself so i could last till the small lunch (which ended up as no lunch!) at mid day... Then we went up to a small hillside market... Haiz, so boring there, as if the whole night market came from there the previous night! I saw a stall selling the venus flytrap (or wadeva it is) in pots, as though they were normal flowers! You don't get that in Singapore!

Ooh it was the trip to the strawberry farm at last! After a boring talk from the main guide, we went off to pick strawberries on our own! Wow it was really fun! Had a box full! think it cost us RM25 or so... pretty cheap for fresh, self hand-picked berries! Enjoyed it all the way along the long bus journeys to less attractive places...

Oh oh, the day's bus driver wasn't ah bang anymore... I called this one "Mama" cuz he looked like a typical Indian to me... He's a really funny guy though, who can talk chinese rather well! He thought me the difference between Passion fruit and Ai Qing Guo (love fruit, if not wrong), even showing them to me... Then i got to see a different type of hydroponics from Singapore's! Its really big there, every farm or plantation is!! Then i got to walk into a plantation! I took the trip down the slopes alone cuz no one wanted to go with me!

Haix, so fast end already! Freakin long journey back to Singapore! It was a delayed trip again! So i had to treat myself to yet another Ramley Burger! hehehehe...

Oh it feels gr8 to be at home! weee! dunch hafta depend on my jacket so much ler! but the rain back here was much worst! in cameron, it was like sun rays splashing down as liquid matter, but here it flooded parts of Singapore!!! ooh this was bad... anywaez, i have one day to rest and slack at home b4 a busy schedule comes up!

Thursday (21st December)
I woke up to realise the organiser for my pri sch class gathering changed it to an outing of movies and pool this morning! Eunice was the only girl there... all the girls PS her or smtn, or mebbe she was the oni one silly enough to go... well, not much has changed for a few people... Bosi, the "Zhong" twins haven't changed much... Sherman just kept long hair as well as his feelings for Rui Hua (man that guy's devoted)! had a long chat with Eunice the whole walk... den she asked me if i was attached... seems we had quite a similar experience the 5 years since we were classmates... then we relieved some pri sch memories during lunch... heehee... was really dumb when we thought back...

The movie was really gr8 though! night at the museum... kinda one of those cheesy, motivation boosting story line embedded into it, but overall, it was really funny! laughed non-stop!! then i walked around after leaving my buddies to get presents... haiz... today burn a whole in my wallet ler...

Friday (22nd December)
Today's my class picnic! heehee... was a blast! was boring on the entertainment side, but we still did have laughs and i thought the gift exchange was rather meaningful, in a sense... i got a ling sleeved shirt from Charlotte... actually, i drew her name before we had to repick that day... this time she picked me on the second draw... i gave Yvonne the Minitoons tortoise... hope she liked it...

Ooh well, today itself was rather dissapointing... i went to play soccer but had lotsa mishaps... well, dun wanna talk about it... Xiang Ling gave me something to meddle with now... so i'd go get it done and over with... and I'm still looking for people to go for the Song Composing Club Concert with me! anyone ler! haha! ooh i'll try my luck again tmr or smtn... gotta cut things short now... got a xmas party tmr! weeee~! and I hope i'd get to do an EPL post tmr... Darren's been waiting for it i think... :p got lots to talk abt~

2006-12-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

hey hey~ like my small "poem"? (its on the right of this page) anyways, lotsa nice things to keep my spirits flying high~ at least, aloft... and i don't wanna experience a downward spiral... not at this moment... i feel i can do anything now! really (not anything impossible lah)... but overall, i'm just happy...

Friday (1st December)
I woke up late yet again! and this time at 6.50am! woots! i had to get prepared in 10minutes and head out if i were to ever think of having a chance to arrive on time or at most 15 minutes late for class! i thought it was nice that i inform Vanessa about this since she was my dance partner... appears she was on her way out and she decided to share a cab with me! lolx... thought this wld never have happened... but oh well, we did arrive just on time, earlier than Dawn and Nadj (whom i told i was going to be late)

SW Dancesports
So it seems Vanessa dun want me for her jive partner already... she mentioned on our way to school that i should inform my partner (Roxanne) about me being late... its ok... i'm having fun with Roxanne too! Melvin was not here today, and Rosanne took over... i think the class kinda felt uncomfy with her, getting lotsa timings screwed, learning really slow... she demanded perfection what... bleagh... but i know we're gonna get screwed next week... we learnt very little of the new jive steps...

CATS
EEEEUUUUU! so fast start new assignment already! common test coming already leh!!!! they should have screwed cats for us since they wanted to restructure our second semester! arghh!!! hate it hate it HATE IT! oh welsh... just go get smtn nice to appear on the result slip lah...

Training
Haiz... why did the main team had to come over today? i wanted to have more drills so i can get my form back on track! they come, and we play matches! haiz... so sian... i lost both sets 11-15... really showed a big dip in form... i needa play more tennis! its gonna be screwed if i don't do anything about it soon... i can't hit groundstrokes and i'm teaching others how to do it! thx guys, for whoever i thought and believed i'm right...

Saturday (2nd December)
Today's the NP Primers Boy's Brigade Charity Giftbox event (whoa, so long....) Abel and XL pang seh me!!!!!!! say wanna come (esp Abel) Abel's phone was off i can't contact her and XL was asleep when i called him! argh! i thought i was the only LSCT society member there until Wenping and Shameema walked in late... phew! i met a new girl at the LT... we both came early and just started chatting... we had breakfast together too... oh... her name is Algie and she's really pretty! she's tall too! she reached my height but she was on heels... thought of doing the collection with her but we were allocated into different groups *sob sob*... i din get her contacts either... hope we'll cross paths again... anywaez, i got into a group and still had fun! think i would have been conservative if Algie was around... ohoh! i was under Si Chung's classmate, Wan Yan for this... she's a primer and my GL for this event :)
So the day started at Bukit Panjang... didn't know we had lots to cover... just did it... looked like collecting donations but i started to feel relaxed and more proud of the cause as i knew it would benefit a great deal to many! we didn't have much of a good start, but we were happy and took this pic when we collected our first bag! i can't show it though... seems like blogger prohibited the posting of pictures with ppl in it on my blog or smtn... bleagh~

This bag was kinda special! though i didn't contain much, it was a very nice bag and the person actually stuck our flyer onto the bag! wow! so it was off to a never ending series of house after house... it got tiring as i had to carry more and more each time! everything seemed to be the same, and i actually experience De Javu (howeva u spell it) a few times! one in particular, i saw the same topless guy with the same hairstyle as the previous open the same door at the same end of the block! man that was freaky! i actually was a lil bumpy in my speech when i started off with the second, thinking he was the same guy!

Then things started to get interesting... i saw this countless number of times!

I've yet to get the door splashing pic from the unit itself though... Wenping has it... anywaez... there was this unit (and i still remember the unit number and block!) where there was a generous and sincere aunty whom decided to give me money to buy the provisions myself instead cuz she forgot about the collection date... she was really determined to help, coming up with alternatives after alternatives so i would accept her offer... in the end, i got it done, and it was this

A bag of rice (5kg), a bottle of oil, and 3 cans of luncheon meat!
Haha... one highlight of the collection was this lady (i don't know how old, but she wasn't married) who came out when i knocked on her door... she was in her PJs but she could still "turn me on" cuz she was stunningly beautiful! she didn't prepare anything either, nor was she aware of it... but after joking around, talking and "looking into her eyes", she just went back to her kitchen and got me 2 bags full of provision! sweet! she gave me really great goodbye and smile b4 i left, which got me motivated to finish the day! i got these from her

Kae, i'll spare the details on the "charming" competition between Shameema and I... lolx... i went down to parkway to meet mum and Ryl... seems like they have done quite some shopping b4 i got there! mum was the one who bought the most today... dinner was great! i tried the bake rice and man did i enjoy it! i can't pretty much remember what kicked started things, but we burst into laughter all of a sudden and laughed non-stop all the way home! gotta say its has been fun!

Tmr's ah ma's birthday! i bought her a prezzie just now... hope it puts into good use! anywaez, i'll be going to her place to celebrate and hope i getta take some pics! yea... its EPL weekend now! i'll be posting my reviews of the matches so far pretty soon if not, tmr... dat's abt it now~!

2006-11-30T21:28:00.000+08:00

heyz~ b4 i start anythin, here's something i've got hooked onto...

ok, its not about the dirty dancing (maybe a little)but i like the English guards dancing at the end of the video... LOLz! real farnie lorh! quite hip oso... i wanna learn! haha... Joel just sent me the song today... thx dude!

Training
Haiz... training was cancelled on Monday! errghhhh! i needa train so badly they lyk dat... haiz... tmr had better not be the same!

My Hair
Heehee some people have noticed it... and so far no negative comments lah... (good good)... getting used to doing it up already though, but i still think its weird after a while... so far only 2 lecturers/teachers noticed it... big group of students lah... so can't blame em...

Exams
Hai yoh! time after time, night after night... i succumb to my fatigue, and just snooze away without studying... common test comin' soon! feel so slacky... doing so badly in microbio... so blur when questions are being asked... gotta study now!

Couples
I don't know why, but more and more people are getting attached... is it a trend or something? neh... dunnoe... but i realised that my friends who are attached really get together with others as a click... hmm... does look like a trend from here... sian lorh... i'm alwiz lost when it happens cuz it seems like i got nothing to talk to them about...

GLs
Skipped training this week... had to rush back to take care of Ryl... in the end, after dinner, i just dozed off on the bed... but i heard my mum came back early lah... and my sis just needed to be assured that i was at home so she could feel secure... bleagh...
Today was red camp... gotta say it was kinda dissapointing... didn't get to interact much with the students as i expected... haha... the SGLs say this would depend on whether they would come back and be our freshies would have to depend on us... i didn't see how that was possible... haha
I went to the drink stall to help promote a lil today, but ended up running it as well... even the cleaning up... well, i was happy that they managed to raise quite an amount for charity! yup yup... we came up with a catch line for the store too! haha... we went "soyabean and grassjelly! or mix it up all 1.20~" cute right? cuter that we split the lines between guys and girls... so we juz kept shouting when the lecturers and students came by...

School
Warh!!!! cannot stand that maths teacher man! ************************! she used my mp3 ear piece as a started to scold me and put blame on me! first she asked my to keep it cuz it was still in my ear, that i understand... then cuz i was talking to Abel she told me to stop talking to her so much and said she was doing badly already... that i can understand but she said i was the cause for it! got nothing to say... just, stun.......
Dr Kueh was a lil rowdy today... can say it was his strictess... hmm dunnoe why... we did come up with a few reasons though... haha... then i saw him board the 151 bus at KAP... haha... surprised he takes the bus! wonder where he stopped... i was with Caryn's classmate (what a coincedence)... had a nice chat with her... talkin bout lotsa random stuff...

I hope tommorow's gonna be better... wanna enjoy it... i lurve fridays! heehee... gotta go study now though~

2006-11-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

lotsa stuff has happened to keep my spirits up high... lotsa stuff that dampen my days as well... juz thank god its in a balance...

GL training
training ended earlier then expected this week... ended already... but we had some discussion after the returning of punishments... so i left early... didn't hear much about it... i left training cuz i didn't wanna get into any trouble with mum n dad... nadj told me nthn much happened but it ended kinda late...

School (23/11/06)
school? wad school?! lolx! din go to school today... i woke up to find the sun shining brightly and my watch showing 9.14a.m.!!! WARGHH!!!!!!!!! dat's lyk freakin late!!!!!!! decided against going to school cuz all i had left was 1hr of tutorial and 1 hr of lecture till the end of the day... so i just dropped back to bed after coming back from the toilet...

My Hair
YAAAAY~! despite not going to school, i still went out to get myself a hairdo! but it was freakin ex~! $55 cuz the hairstylist thought i should rebond my hair or not very hard to do... oh welsh... i'm just happy i got it done! but when i got home i immediately forgot how to do it up... haiz...

Dancesport
got a new partner today cuz Vanessa got there late... Roxanne (if i didn't get it wrong) didn't have a dance partner either so Melvin paired us up... she's cute and a friend of Zhi Hui... can see she enjoys the lessons as much as i do, that's for sure... i really had a fun time dancing with her... she's enthusiastic, fun-loving... we danced more than i usually would have with Vanessa! showed how much we were enjoying it... it was a new dance learnt today as well... so difficult... and we look silly when we had to go fast... haha *Jive*... bleagh

CATS
haiyoh... things were so last minute... we were doing up the project in class... thank god the teacher gave us time during the lesson... i took a fall on my way to get the remaining stuff printed out... now i've got a wound on my left knee *again*.... haiz... stupid stupid... just glad we got the stuff handed in... really took alot of weight off my shoulders so i can think about studying now...

Training
Thank god the rain stopped before that... i really needed to pick up my racket again... i found i lost touch on my groundstrokes... so week! my volleys are better though... i could control better and my reflexes have improved alot... i'd rate today's training a 5 out of 10... haiz... overall, dissapointing...

Saturday
Couldn't go out for the boy's brigade thingy today... woke up still sneezing... watched spongebob and dropped back into bed when i couldn't take the irritation... it got worst and worst from the start of the week... then all of a sudden, it just stopped when i came out of the shower! yay! then i went to the addidas sale at the expo... haiz... really dissapointing display... really budget... Real Madrid fans would be really happy though... lotsa Madrid stuff on sale there... i got myself a long sleeved jersey (wouldn't exactly call it one)... but i still like it! don't get to see any of that lying around on sale at $25... then i went to the popular sale... got myself 3 novels which cost less than 1 would usually be! but they are so big... wonder how to put it in my bag... its gonna cause some bulk...

About her~
we shared yet another talk... well... i didn't wanna get into the subject with her though... just got some things cleared with her... sometimes i blame her for bringing up the relationship thing and telling me she wasn't ready for a relationship so soon... but in the end, i just blame myself back for showing too many signs... haiz... i don't know... but it always gets me down... wouldn't wanna share to much here either... she'd feel worst if she see's this... i'm sorry...

Saturday EPL
Special new segmeant every weekend! wee~! been wanting to do this for sometime already! next week (or maybe tommorow) it will be a seperate post...

Anyways, it was a dissapointing night for Arsenal... 3-1 defeat to Bolton... Dumb or what?! so many chances... with van Persie suspended and Henry not available, should not have played a lone strike... Adebayour was so WOLS! so many chances never take... i think without Gilberto, could have been a 3-0 or maybe even worst...
Everton was another dissapointing side... draw 1-1 against Charlton with an own goal to save their skins... think midfield engines are a key this season... Cahill gone and Everton fall... Rosicky gone and Arsenal fall... haiz... wonder which team gets hit next...
Liverpool have won... but more would have been expected... 1-0 victory wasn't impressive at all... i thought it would have been at least 2... i did hear they had alot of chances though... Crouch failing yet again to finish easy balls... they should hire van Nistelrooy... he would do good!
Tonight's the biggest EPL fixture! Manchester United vs Chelsea! woots! deffinitely backing United to win this one! give Chelsea a boot so we can continue with a nice lead in the premiership! would give the team a great boost to win more games as well! i'm going for a 2-0 win tonight! Glory Man United~

2006-11-22T15:52:00.000+08:00

Hey~ been really eventful since the last time i blogged... wonder when was that......

Asia Motorshow
WEETZ~ probably the sweetest thing over the week! went with XL and Nadj... No doubt, we'd have fun even outside the motorshow... we saw the amazing race checkpoint and decided to play with it a lil after we got high inside the motorshow...
so it was in and the freakin show cost us 10 bucks each!!! it did give away goodie bags so mebbe they were tryin to cover cost a lil here and there... and wow! everything inside was just a blast! cars and babes! wee! lucky my cam was in action....

ain't this a beauty?

this one's better

nothing like this~!

that's not all to the day... we had some nice shots of the Ronald McDonald hand gestures too... mebbe its too crude... i'll just show one sample then...

wahahaha~! Mc Donald advertises for Asia Motorshow!

S'n'S

The performance was just yesterday... the was pure mix of emotions of anxiety, stress, and erm... emo... haha! gosh... got toungue lashing from seniors cause' the GLs weren't proactive enough... hmmz... think we oughta be ashamed of ourselves someway or another... oh well... its over already... the performance seemed to be full of praise though... as much as the seniors hated us for the poor attitude, we still did deserve smtn for putting up the best show... well done ppl~!

hmm... dat's abt it so far... i can't really remember much about the weekend... i know i went out with my mum and sis over both days over the break... but there wasn't much... OHOH! i took a pic of this----->

yeah! had a blast drinking this when i was at seoul garden! heehee~! think they gotta restock their ice-cream cuz of me... wonder how many cups of these i had... free-flow mah... :P

2006-11-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

i've been happier the past two days... had some nice stuff... enjoying being happy again...

S 'n' S
WEE~ Ron gave us the nod and said it was a performance worth performing... ok, to some extent it didn't sound good, but at least our efforts din go down the drain within one night... gd job GLs! rehersal and actual day is drawing nearer... i don't feel anything... but i know people who are nervous... jia you! we can do it! sad thing about it is, "she" just told me about an hour ago that she's not gonna go for s 'n' s... kae... mebbe i dun wanna see how horrid i may look when i dance, but i'd greatly luv for her to be there... just for support~

School
HAIZ... i'm kinda desperately looking forward to another quiz or something... i really wanna make it up for that badly done microbio quiz... dat's one of the things bothering me... i think i've kinda completed most of the work... except the IPC tutorials... i get so used to thinking about the workload that sometimes, i keep thinking i still have unfinished work... euww... wrong way to be bugged...

GLs
OH no! got home late again! haiz... and got into trouble with my parents... my mum was scolding me last night and just now when i got back from training, dad gave me another lecture... i dun wanna quit GLs after what i've put in for it... but really, i think i wanna prove my parents wrong by doing well for my studies...

Tennis
FIRST training after claiming the honors... was gr8, tho not many people attended it... i performed acceptibly well lah... wouldn't say its outstanding, but i was able to produce winners, read game tactics, and save finishing shots... still, got lotsa bad mistakes... kept Eileen frustrated cuz i double faulted alot during the singles-team game... so sorry for that... but i know i helped pulled the gap close at one point... overall... think about 7 out of 10 bah... still gotta work on the power...

Family
MUM's planning a trip to camaron (howeva u spell it) highlands... sad thing is, my sis is complaining about having it too late and my aunt's leave is fixed... and that is the week i'm taking my common tests! but my dad says i die die must go... well, as long as its within my holidays, i dun mind skipping my activities for it... i need a break!

hmm... dat's about it for 2 days... i'm feeling better... talked to "her" quite abit... but alwiz get cut off by unforseen circumstances... haiz... hope we get a time to have a nice chat again~

2006-11-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

today was just low down in school... wouldn't say i was in a bad mood, rather, foul... i couldn't be bothered much about anything... just hoped i could get home and under my blanket as soon as possible

Physio Lecture
THE whole day just collapsed the moment i stepped into the lecture theatre... i saw two people in **** ****** next to each other... juz enough to really, really feel the blood brush against the ventricle walls of my heart, giving the pain "sensation"... i felt a mix of emotions... lots of thoughts just ran through my mind... i couldn't believe what i saw... it was too much for me to take all of a sudden... i didn't really pay attention in lecture, except to parts where i've never learned... at least i didn't attend lecture for nothing....

Lunch
LUNCH? what lunch? i was still in a daze over what i saw... i walked out of the LT alone, not intending to speak a word, so i didn't go find anyone... just sat alone near the tutorial rooms to study for the test... not like i could accomplish much anyway... still having crazy thoughts

MB Test
DAMN! argh! the test was everything i didn't study! the practical! well, i don't really pay much attention in class, i gotta admitt... can't blame it lah... but i was a really dissapointing result, even though i expected so... i really think i'm gonna have to study much harder... seeing the class still able to laugh and joke... haiz... really added on to the pain...

Maths Lecture
I snuck off alone again... purposely evading everyone... i got to the LT and chose the coldest possible spot so i'd be alone... XL was still crazy enough to sit next to me though he only had a t-shirt on top... it was just boring... learnt how to use that exponential formula... then it was back to LSCT

After School
HAIZ... dance practice again... well, we ain't been doing much, and we're gonna perform again soon... better do something... i was down, till augustine snatched the tennis ball from me while i was playing with it... well, soccer got me happier a little... it always does... dat's y i love it... "scored" two goals in a small 2-on-2 match... think i sweated cuz of the soccer rather than dance... haiz...
on the way out of school, my suspicions on two couples were comfirmed... happy for Jieying (a.k.a) mamacotary for finding happiness with Davin... funny, i didn't have the feeling of jealousy or envy for them despite what happened today... the other couple was Sulfri and Caryn... haiz... ok... the usual happened... i didn't wanna join them for dinner... feel so extra among them...

ok the day is bad enough... don't wanna talk anymore about it... well, i've got alot of thoughts today... i think everything is fitting into a big puzzle now... I'm having thoughts of quitting GLs... yea... well, from today, i thought everything is spiralling downwards because i didn't have the time... time to study, time to spend time with friends, time to relax and relief myself of all my problems... its because i return late from GLs all the time that my parents stopped me from staying out too much... or rather, i gotta return home as soon as possible or risk being forced to quit it... whatever it is, its really bogging my mind day in and day out, not giving me a worry free moment... well... i kinda wanna do this, even though my parents aren't pushing for it... from today, i realised i could survive school without much of my friends, since i've drifted so far from them, they're as good as acquaintances... well, good enough... at least there's people to say hi to when i'm walking around~

2006-11-14T00:17:00.000+08:00

Today was fine... boring school hours, nothing much... until the prize ceremony at TP

Early morning
I got up late! its the 4th time this has happened already.. i shut off my second alarm and juz snoozed back in bed... mum woke me up at 6.10 and i still got to school on time... lucky lucky!

IPC lecture
HAD a small chat with Dr Kueh cuz the convention centre door was locked and no one was there to open it.. then i found uot he was a fan of the EPL.. cool.. but he supports Nottingham Forest, a low division team.. ooh welsh.. den he told me he had already reopened my online tutorial.. ooh he actually saw my email from last week! then just before i went in, i saw bacteria and fungi growing on a stain on one of the tables.. kinda interesting but sick too...

Maths tutorial to MB lecture
HAIZ.. sianzations... got back the maths quiz from last week... the score was kinda expected but i didn't expect the marks to be deducted bit by bit from small mistakes... haiz... Kwoh is juz too picky and particular... then it was an unlikely company from Wenxin... she joined us for lunch and the break... then it was a shocker when we got to know that we are having a MB quiz tommorow during the tutorial... haiz... gotta get studying later...

IVP award ceremony
AFTER a 2 hour wait from lecture, we got on the bus towards TP... on the bus, the guys fished out the info from the girl's captain Jasmine about her new relationship with our ex-captain... haha... dat was really a suprise!
At TP, we couldn't find anything to eat while waiting for the games between SP and ITE to end... so hungry!! there was practically almost nothing there... the girls got their cameras out and the team took lots of pictures (not with me lah) then there was a soccer frenzy between some of the guys, kickin a tennis ball around... damn i can't shoot with my tennis shoes...
The wait was finally over! the award ceremony! wee~ got a gold medal(like olympics like that)... then we took lotsa pictures both with other schools and with the team... gotta get pictures from Yusra's camera though... can't post now... got a pic of my medal though~

NOW its time i went to read up on my remaining chapters for tmr's quiz... hope i can get sleep too... bleagh~

2006-11-12T23:18:00.000+08:00

hey~ i'm so happy! i got to have a live video chat wif my dad today! wee~ mum's out to malaysia and my sis went to bed early... haha... told him everything about my tennis... bleagh... hope he's still proud of how much i "accomplished"... sad thing is, i can't go online now... he's still dere... promised him i'd go sleep when we said bye...

hmm... dissapointing was that i cldn't go to danzation today... din tell steph i din wanna buy the tix cuz i had to stay home and take care of my sis while i was away... haiz... oh yea... here's a tribute to xl:

meepok mai hum! LOLz... and no, i did not say mee pok mai hum to the hawker! it was my dinner on wednesday... i removed the 'te kua'... haha

ooh yay! drogba scored a hat-trick yesterday! but not like i support chelsea... its juz for my game... United still rox! beat blackburn to stay on top! yay! means me gonna get a boost for my nfc game! hehe...

oh no! tiki and kiki lost so much air! tiki's kinda smudged up now... and kiki looks like a 'peh' (pear; sorry Dr.Kueh:p)

ooh well, kinda a bored day... i still got lotsa work undone... i think... kinda slacky... din do anything but print notes... ooh ooh! the spongebob movie yesterday was really funny! patrick is really slow! haha... i think xl and joel can go compete... den keep seeing spongebob gena pwn! wish i can watch it again... kae, off to "sleep" now, nitee~

2006-11-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

wow~ its been sometime since i've blogged... had been an eventful 8 days~

Nadjmi's Pwn count
ITS hit 21 in 4 weeks! thats an average of 5.25 per week! well done Dr. Ho! haha... but we're gonna have a change of practical teacher... guess the pwn counts won't jump too much... haiz...

NFC Manager
LOLz! probably one of the worst scores i've ever gotten! 18 and 20 for last week's game... i made 4 wrong predictions... man dat sucked... hope this week's game gonna improve...

TVU player
EEEEUU... dumb player spoiled my hopes for the 4th time already! din watch a single match... everytime just before the match they cut off the channel... only got to watch one half of the manchester city vs newcastle match at my uncle's place juz now... bleagh... now dere's spongebomb squarepants on nickelodeon... then dere's the spongebomb movie next! i'm gonna watch it while tracking the man u match!

School
HMM its still kinda the same... i've been inactive among my buddies... but its been improving... i realise dere's actually ppl calling me Donnie! haha... thx Jieying and Dawn!
I made a big mistake! argh! the stupid IPC tutorial only had one attempt and i exited it unwittingly... bleagh... i'm dead... Dr Kueh din unlock it for me... gonna haf to pester him on monday
I'VE been really jealous of some people this period of time... but dere's someone in particular i wanted to vent it all out on so much cuz it was juz to extreme for me to take... man dat guy's lucky! but nah... 4get it lah... not worth it... be more gentlemanly... wahahah

Dancesports
Vanessa was back! wee~ alwiz enjoy dancing with her... like it when she says chachacha... her voice is really cute... haha... i went to the library to watch with Dawn and Vanessa after IS on friday... the cinematography is really good but it wasn't much of a fright night movie... bleagh~ we tried to find a room where we cld be alone in the dark to watch... but ended up in the brightly lit viewing room at the 3rd level... but its still gr8... enjoyed the company!

Tennis IVP Tournament
WEE! the guys got GOLD again this year! well done NP team! it was great watching the matches! leanrt quite abit from it.. haiz... sad part was the girls... they lost to TP to make it a silver... well, its still something to be proud of! the last match was such a cliff-hanger! wow! K actually fought back from a 1-5 down to make it into a tie break at 8 all! gotta admit, those safety lobing was just slow paced but waiting for the outcome of each shot was nerve-wreckin! in the end, it was lost controvesially at 6-8... K broke down immediately... if anyone deserved to be the hero to bring back the gold, it was her... she played beautiful attacking tennis till she had no choice but to change... well done anewae K!

Weekend Out
HAD fun going out with mum and sis last week! we had quite a few laughs... bought some things as well... its kinda funny tho... dinner without dad... usually we din talk much, exept when he pushes food to me... but for those 2 evenings, kinda empty without that presence...

Dad
SINCE he left, i've talked to dad online quite a few times already... just a few hours ago, he called back cuz his internet was down... at least i got to wish him happy birthday... betta den email or msn... yea... i still miss him... at times... but we're getting used to it at home... dad still worries that i come back late often cuz of my ccas... i'm doing fine dad... don't worry! its comforting to know that he's getting used to life and his job there... jia you!

kk... that's about it... i hope i'd blog more often... the spongebob movie is showing! haha gonna watch~!

2006-11-04T15:29:00.000+08:00

hey~ past few days have been betta lil bit...

Thursday (2nd November 06)

school has been boring... was doing the tutorial qns den jumped over to the topic that was being taught to finish quicker then the teacher could finish in maths... i din listen much, cuz i knew it wasn't anything new to me... then I played FIFA 06 throughtout the 1 hour IPC lecture... kinda understood wad was being taught cuz i was copying stuff down as well... but gotta read up on it...

after the early end of school, i found myself yet alone at a corner... really gotta thank Jieying, Darren and Joan for showing me i still knew some ppl who neva change infront of me... for the past few days, i've really got no belonging to anywhere amongst the ppl around me... maybe i've been sitting away from my friends alot and found myself lost in their talks, maybe i've been too bad a friend that i don't get pulled into their conversations much, maybe i'm just not spending enough time with them and lost out on alot... i don't know... but this period of time gave me alot of space to do thinking and cover lotsa work...

S'n'S audition is just tomorrow and lotsa talks n worries are going around... i've got more to worry for... we were practicing yesterday and i danced it over and over, partly to shake off tuesday's events from my mind... today was a last ditch effort to get everyone clear of the the final part of the dance... Steph was worried about it after i told her we cldn't practice it much after she left... glad the dancers are putting in effort to come for practice...

i found myself inch closer to the team... they sorta realised my existence already, though i'm still not comfortable to joke around much with them... they got me a nickname... it sounded something like "little or beatle", i couldn't make out much of it... but its still good... whether it meant i'm weak or not... at least i gained some bearings in the team... the captain got confident about my play now that i get chosen by him to play jail faster (usually i get chosen last)... think i proved to him a lil that i can be useful at times...

i fell asleep while waiting for blogger to load... had lotsa ppl trying to contact me on MSN... haiz... its the second consecutive day this has happened... so sry to everyone... i'm really, really tired...

Friday (3rd November 06)

Because i fell asleep last night, i didn't charge my phone... i woke up to find my handphone battery almost dead (and thank goodness to my body clock for waking me up)... i took my charger and ran out of the house...

Vanessa didn't come to school today and i didn't have a dance partner... had to make do with someone else who was unenthusiastic and couldn't be caring... did miss Vanessa though... i thought it was the only time she would look at me *bleagh*... was such a relief in CATS class that we only needed to come up with the 30 ideas during class... non of us did anything about it... but we did have fun coming up with ideas...wierd ones too... and we decided on the group name "b-z bodies"... sent an sms to Vanessa cuz she wasn't around to voice her opinion on this... so we gave her the decision to make...

the day ended early... i was wondering around, not sure of what to do... priority was to find a place where i can get lunch, charge my phone and keep myself occupied... i got to Emart... there i could charge my phone... but people keep knocking my phone out of position and it didn't charge... i left Emart with 2 out of 3 bars on the battery meter and i went out in a matter of minutes as i was taking alot of calls... i had to borrow Sulfri's and Ming Cheng's handphones to make calls... thx guys! S'n'S audition went on, with a few nervous faces sufacing minutes before the performance... we did a few practices... then Sharon (my FOC GL and Jie Jie) saw me again in a sweaty state... i thought she wanted to hug me or smtn since she commented that she'd always see me like that... anywaez... it ended so late... i thought i'd miss the IVP match yet again... haiz...

on the way out of school, i went to the bus stop... fate decided to give me another chance to get to the match, with the bus coming when i just arrived at the bus stop... i decide to p.s. my friends from dinner (think they didn't bother if i was gonna go there or not) and give the match a hope...

i hated the journey to TP... i hated myself for making so many bad choices today! there was a huge traffic jam... but it took me only 10 minutes more to get the the kallang MRT station... after i took the train down to eunos... i followed my cousin's directions to the interchange but cldn't find bus 69 there! i knew i was gonna be later... but didn't expect the stupid uncle at the service counter to give me wrong directions... i got up bus 24 and the driver told me he wasn't going to TP... and got off... argh! the bus is going to bedok interchange! *stupid stupid boy!* so i waited and took a bus down to bedok interchange and found the darn 69! damn! now i was just praying that the matches took a long time and that they were still there... i got there at 8.30pm and ran my way to the tennis courts... i'm just glad that i didn't miss yet another match...

by then, the last 2 matches were being played, and the guys were winning 3-1 and the girls were hanging on a 2-2 tie... i watched Rudy win his match... and the guys were on the final step towards taking th trophy home again this year... then it was a close watch on the 3rd singles of the girls... though it wasn't much, the the tense atmosphere made it look very nerve-wrecking... K finally walked out of the courts victorious and the girls were just giving her hugs and congrats for saving their champion hopes... well done K!

just when we were about to leave, a bust-up between an SP player and Donovan took place... it took quite some time to resolve things and it got Rudy and Mr. Gobi involved... it was a short lecture from Mr. Gobi before we could leave... it was kinda late by then...

i got home at about 11pm... thank god mum didn't scold me for that... but she told me dad inquired about things... i missed out quite abit of talk with dad... and was quite worried mum wld panic when she cldn't get me on my phone... but i made it back nevertheless... and i fell asleep yet again when waiting for things to load... argh! woke up to find Yide's and Mandy's (AGL) conv windowon the screen... so sorry seniors! i really am tired these 3-4 days... anywaez, plans to go to my cousin's place were scrapped... mum's gonna bring me out soon... wonder how its like going without dad~

2006-11-01T05:15:00.000+08:00

ITS 4.30 am in the morning~ i thought of watching soccer online cuz i cldn't get to sleep... darn moderators cldn't juz hold the channel there when the match begins... din have the mood to blog earlier either... today's (or rather, yesterday) was so moody, down, lousy~

Physio Lecture
Another slacky session... Eddie Ong juz came to show us a video and copy a few study points and ended his lecture... that was real slacky... if this keeps up, wonder if we'll ever finish our module...

Lunch
Naturally, lunch was early, a long break... I felt lousier, drifting from place to place cuz my friends had stuff to talk about together... i found myself lost among their conversations yet again, and only had this cup of ice-blend to accomodate my feelings~

Microbio tutorial
Probably the only time i had a real smile on my face... Dr Ho never fails to make me laugh... pwn-ing students here and there... we just went thru the tutorial i did yesterday and asked us around about our secondary school... she finally realized that the familiar look i have on my face is that of a christian brother's school student... bleagh... fine mebbe i do have it... then i tried talkin esmine out of quitting GLs... i don't fully know wad's going on for her but i hope she pulls thru well...

Maths lecture
Good grief i finally understand what range and domain is all about! but it took me quite some shooshing of my friends to do dat... i'm really sorry for it... but the time was drawing closer and i juz din care much about my surroundings... i was still bogged over training and tonight... i saw Rudy outside the LT during the break and felt even more guilt... no choice... tonight was important...

Home
This was probably the lowest point of the day... I tried spending more time with my family and make it look happy... nothing worked out... and after waiting and waiting we finally left for the airport... its drawing nearer...

Airport
Dad's gonna leave for work overseas... but its gonna be a long period of time... i'll miss him! greatly... i refused to answer my sister's probing question "what are your feelings now"... we met up with my uncle and his family at the airport... then we went down to mac's and mum went to get a cake to celebrate dad's birthday in advance... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!! there was this beautiful girl we borrowed a lighter from... i walked over to offer her and her friend a piece of the cake each... thx ladies! sorry for disturbing u study... we had a few talks at the table while i was trying to do my microbio work... i din have the mood to do anything but juz sit there... obviously i din finish it... i tried taking as many pictures as i could to remember the whole thing... sadly... i didn't have any with dad and me...

It was time... dad's gonna walk through the departure gate... well, though it may seem like something small to some people, i cldn't bear parting with him for this long period... usually i'll be happy... but after the past few weeks of thinking, i really thought this was something different from the other occasional short trips... I wanna say i've always looked up to my dad for being a responsible man though he can be an a** at times... i hugged him a final time b4 he went in... my eyes wanted to tear, but it took me quite abit to hold them back... my relatives were still there! it was this time:

On our way out of the airport, the feeling of missing dad slowly crept into me... then he gave us a call... i thought it was nothing... but when it was my turn to the phone... i cldn't raise my voice loud enough to speak clearly... i was busy fighting back tears... this time... i couldn't hold anything back this time... my eyes just watered slowly... its the second time i've cried in a long time... i couldn't even say "take care" properly... i just passed the phone back to my mum after i hear him hang up... we walked passed mini toons... i bought the innocent tortoise plushie so i can remember today when i look at it by the bedside... i named it boo-boo,so i can think happy thoughts...

Dad has a neck for timings... he called us when we just got up the car... this time he spoke just to me... told me the usual stuff he's been preaching the past few days and gave me a number to copy down... this time i took his preaching seriously... i promise not to let his efforts go to waste...
Back home, when i just opened the door... dad called again... Cheryl got to the call but i didn't want to talk much cuz i didn't want to tear again... i just took a bath and added dad to my msn contacts... haha... pretty cool huh? now i can talk to dad when i'm in tutorials or when i'm free...

End of the day
I've not done my microbio assignment! F*** it! i can't find anything! I'm still tearing while i'm writing this post... it made me think of everything that happened a few hours ago... i realised, dat if i had to be sacked from the team for these moments, it was worth it... i cherished every bit... and regret to think that i would go for training instead... *stupid boy!!!* dat's about it... i hope i can do well in school later... gonna have to go take a bath and get ready now... got a long day ahead... Dad, take good care of urself! I'll miss you greatly~!

2006-10-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

WHAT a day! wanna jump straight into bed but i can't! still got work to do... bleagh... so tired~

IPC lecture
I finally understood Kueh-man! wee~ haha! juz dat i regret not paying attention to his video... haiz... wish i cld watch it again... muz get into lecture mood quicker next time...

Maths Tutorial
I highly doubt it was a tutorial or even a class today! i juz sat there n listen to the teacher talk her way thru nonsense... i wish the tougher topics come fast... i'm bored! i walked out of the class feeling so uneasy... kept thinkin "what was i doing in there?"

Lunch
THIS is where the fun begins! 3G (Me, Alvin and Nadjmi) had such a hard time thinking of where to get lunch cuz everywhere was packed! we went to SIM, both eateries filled!

then it was down to the Alumni Clubhouse but i was equally packed! then JieYing and Gabby had lessons in a hour so we decided to turn back... but when we went back, things got worst! den 3G juz abandoned the thought of lunch until *de de de deng.... CHANG!* we thought of canteen 3 prata since we're gonna desert the girls... when we ran down, it was no different from SIM! argh!! we ran down towards canteen 2 for salvation... on the way...

heehee~ checkpoint~

argh! equally crowded! boo~ we switched back to our original idea of KAP mac's! LoLx... and it was another tiring run out the side gate and in the drizzle towards KAP! man dat sux... at last we got there! but it was no different! we cldn't back out now! not after everything! so we got our lunch... den we met Charlotte and gang there... seems like they themselves went thru the same thing... haha! on the way back, we had to take the 3rd bus to reach the bus stop as they were all crowded... den it was where I met the BIRTHDAY GIRL! Charmain Lim... she skipped IPC lecture cuz she wanted to sleep in on her birthday... wad a way to start ur day... she was late for her OBC practical tho... haha... hope she has a good day! and a good remaining of the year ahead! (not much to ask for rite?)

AND FINALLY! 3G got their lunch!

Microbio Lecture

ITS pwn time! Alvin and I kept score for pwns between Dr Ho and the students... Seems Nadjmi's pwn count for the semester has gone to 10 in less then 3 weeks! Joel lost 0-2 to Dr Ho today but what a shock result of WOLS MAN Xiang Ling (XL) who drew with Dr Ho 1-1! Extra time cldn't decide a winner! haha! den Hui Xian dropped by the front row for a visit during the break and i was so fascinated by her glasses dat i did the geek rocker pic wif it!

get ready for it...

YO! ARE YA READY TA ROCK?!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOH~!

we had to do this outside cuz Dr Ho was givin a weird look on her face...

After School

SHORT wait and it was S 'n' S practice! i took Abel's balloon friend and did a ransom video for her... den i tried sending the ransom video to her but she din accept... in the end i got a lil busy and juz flicked the balloon dude across to the next table and it landed spot on! ahhaha!

WHEW! Practice was really tiring! Never sweated this much for dance b4! we practiced it over and over and over! With and without music and girls... so glad the expected attendance turned up! haha! thx guys! lifted a problem off my mind! yay! we're progressing really gr8! a lil more and we'll be ready for our first test on Wednesday! thanx guys again, for co-operating well today!

Home Bound

man its gr8 to be back home! my parents din scold me or anything cuz i got home b4 9 (8.58pm to be exact:p)! wee! but i'm still worried about tmr's training and ermmm, "family matter" clash... den i'm gonna miss Wednesday's match as well... hope i don't get into the bad books of the captain and coach! haiz... trouble, trouble... bleargh! i hate it! gonna do abit of tutorial and head for the sacs! nite~

2006-10-29T15:54:00.000+08:00

HEY~ past two days have been on a high, suprisingly... but my friends have switched to emo mode... sianz =.=

friday (27th October)
ITS dance frenzy day! (at least for me) started off wif SW dancesports! We got to learn cha cha... I got Vanessa as my dance partner... she din look like she wanted to tho *sob sob*... well, we did haf loads of fun learning it!

THE CATS lesson was juz boring... haiz... well, did make 3 new friends! first is a guy called Clement... the teacher said we resembled... mebbe she had a look from a different angle... den there was Zi Hui... she's from dancesports oso... n most likely she'll be in my group for CATS... and there's (i hope he's gonna be) my best budd Anwar! he's cool man! i tot of asking him to join my group for CATS but the girls got Zi Hui in juz b4... newaez, Anwar's a real ineteresting character... very sociable... we hit on the same ideas a few times during class...

THEN it was a freakin' 5hour wait for the dance practice for S 'n' S!!! Argh!!! i had lunch wif Vanessa and company b4 heading down to LSCT night cycling booth to help (mostly slacked on my laptop)... den when the rain stopped i rang up the tennis club guys to have an early game since i took my racket back from Nian Shun... was so looking forward to this!

WHEN i got there, i met someone new! Wendy! she looks like a celebrity (i can't remember who) but she was actually a beginner in tennis... she so shy to approach me i had to get introduced through her "coach"... so b4 i could have a "Federer-Roddick" showdown with Chris, i did a little basics coaching wif Wendy... i gotta say for a girl who juz began a week ago, she's got quite an impressive progress! well, i'll spare the details on dat... was so tiring! i was doing coaching with ONE TENNIS BALL!!! when she hits a ball and i can't put it back nicely to her, either of us had to run to get it back... so the "coach" saw me lyk so tired he decided he let me go play wif Chris n he took over... ehh... i din lyk dat part so i told him wad to do b4 i let him take over... wow i neva pulled so many impressive passing shots for such a long time already!!! wee! was blacting n volleying nice passing shots past Chris and Lao De (Leonard)... and this hyped-up-by-the-ah-lian-chio-bus guy hu i played alongside joined me in doubles demolishion drill... den when i introduced jail to them, Dudley (the real deal) came along n spoilt my plans juz as we were to start... and i realised i was late for S 'n' S rehersal!!! b4 i left Wendy gave me a nice "present" by asking me to come back to coach her again next week... but i 4got to get her number! dun wanna dissapoint her if i cldn't go last minute...

RUSH down to LSCT! woo! they changed the venue and i waited for them at the pyramids thinkin they were late... :p then we had a short practice b4 Steph dismissed us and the guys had a push-up style "exhibition"... so i tested out push by push until i saw Joel sitting arnd... so i asked him and Denyse to teach me their Hip-Hop steps from their SW! wee!!! i lurved it! den i did cha cha for them oso... haha... wad a difference! we decided to go for dinner at KAP... wee~

ALONG the way, we talked about brotherhood room service (Jieying, Joel and Me)... was loadsa stuff i dun wanna disclose here... and we had high pitch and deep voice singing (wld consider dat belching tho) since we got off the brotherhood topic... then afew of us J-walked and waited for the others... so Caryn decided she wanted to do a few nomenclature shots for me and Joel...

Street Nomenclature 1~

Street Nomenclature 2~

Street Nomenclature 3~!
AT KAP, the 3 brotherhood brothers (roll eyes) were isolated and outcasted along with Hong Kai (my FOC GL)... neh mind... we knew how to haf our own fun! so we started forcing out who we had crushes and like from one another! haha... pai seh tho i know quite abit now i dun wanna pang seh my budds... den Abel and Jere came over to KPO abit but i din let anything abt me leak to em... that pretty much summed up the day with tmr's make-up lecture still to come...

TODAY! (rather, Saturday, 28th October)
THE day took me for a spin, literally! i tried on a new bus route to school by accident... den i almost got lost... found my way to Boon Keng MRT... den i met a girl from my lecture, Stephanie... she's quite but one-on-one she got lots to share... we talked about our commitments outside school n our future plans on our way to school... feel so bad from stopping her from reading her book... she looked happy with reading b4 i went over to say hi...

THEN lecture time! i certainly din expect to be on time for lecture... tell ya the truth, i was relieved i met Stephanie cuz i knew she wasn't the type to be late for lectures :p then it was all about BLOOD today... the homeostasis part was so boring i was thanking god for the change in topic! was suprised i still had the answers to most of the questions Mr Eddie shot during lect...

AFTER lecture was dance again!!! haha but it was becuz i wanted to refresh on the chorus part of the performance... den i was in the mood for more and Charlotte (my "ah ger") asked me to do the cha cha from yesterday... haha... i tried showing it to her with XL but he got so distracted (as he claims) with my hip movement... hey! its part of the dance man! lolz... den i did the SW hip hop again wif Denyse! so hooked onto dancing these few days!

THEN i went for a quick bite with Steph and a few others at Megabites while waiting for my family to pick me up to go to Grannie's place... on our way back to LSCT, we saw a Nissan 350z!! den Nadj, XL and I took lotsa pix and even got some pictures wif us posing wif it as tho we're gonna drive it!

WELL, its kinda a normal visit to Grannie's place and then another visit to my other Grannie's place... i got a new shirt from Godpa! haha! its bright orange but i think its pretty cool! my shirts for tennis n sports are all blue, black or white... so this will be good! then I've been stuck here ever since! luckily i did MOL abit den played FIFA 06! den i've been tracking EPL since... am kinda happy with some match results... MAN U BEAT BOLTON AWAY!!! YAY!!! 4-0 somemore... with rooney breaking his goal drought with a hat-trick! wee~ congrats FAT-BOY! haha... anywaez, i'm tired! i wanna get home to my bed soon! think i'm gonna doze off and wait~

2006-10-27T14:32:00.000+08:00

well, things have gotten better, but no doubt it was yet again a lousy day... yesterday had too many events but was too tired to post anything...

i woke up at 5am to realise i fell aslp while trying to fake slping to get my parents to stop checking on me so i can stay up and do some unfinished work... was the alarm which woke me up... den had to rush the MB lab report on the bus... den got to school to realise there were 2 lab reports to be done! in the end i used up most of the maths lecture doing it...

after the IPC tutorial, i picked up a racket and started playing it lyk a guitar(habit)... the malaysian airlines commercial rushed into my mind out of a sudden and i started going high and repeated the commercial over n over... got a few ppl laughing at it but Alvin and Nadjmi were with me the whole day, they got irritated... then b4 the make up MB tutorial, the three of us decided to do a trio commercial... just that i did the rockstar part... kept going *yo! are ya ready to rock?! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! yea! gdnight!* all day... "performed" one for wenxin (another nice girl frm my class) cuz it was her birthday... i know, its pathetic for a birthday gift, but yea, it was kinda last minute... (i rmb her birthday horh!)

during the tutorial, we continued Nadj's "pwn's from Dr Ho"... stopped at 5 yesterday... today it increased to 8 this semester... (man she's good)den i did an all out rockstar commercial for Dr Ho before leaving the tutorial... man dat was gr8!

was off to slacking for 3 hrs b4 heading for training... stupid MOL kept rejecting my answer even tho it was exactly the same!!! argh!!! i gave up and played games the remaining time instead... then i saw Vanessa (the IS one) and she looked so serious... lyk she didn't wanna talk to me... sob sob... so i didn't dare go disturb her either...

things started to get lower and lower...

i went for training... hoping to prove myself so i'd get a spot in the line-up for tmr's match... overheard the captain asking the other players about their involvement in the game tmr... didn't have a slightest hint with my name in it... then after dat i heard him talking to the coach about the line-up... yet again, i wasn't in it... i got more and more dissapointed thru training... even during the reflex drill i wasn't paired with anyone... den i missed out on so much... gotta say this was the slackiest training ever... i didn't have the mood to play well either... juz lost hope over and over... was thinking thruout training dat if i can't even get a spot for tmr's match against the ITE, i can juz give up all hope for ever playing for NP this whole year... well, i struck my first target in "buttsup" for winning the jail game... so sry to Mr Mark Choo for getting it... went right up "there"... lucky his racket was protecting it... i asked about the line-up decision for tmr... well, its comfirmed... i'm not playing... haiz... i'm juz really dissapointed... not at the captain or the coach... juz me myself and i... can't stop sobbing abt it... so if i get emo tmr, no wonder...

then there is Lesley's (really sweet girl from my lecture) birthday... well, i thought it was kinda late to wish her tho it was still the 26th... so i called it belated.. hope she doesn't mind... mebbe i shd do the "rock concert" for her as well...

well, dere's alwiz s 'n' s rehersal tmr if i dun go for the match... i noe i'll alwiz haf fun dere... and its my first sports and wellness tmr... yea... supposed to be looking forward to it... i hope to learn smtn new... dancesports... geez... lotsa ppl laughed at my decision... oh wells... juz go n haf fun...

i hope tmr ends quickly... i wanna juz go home and hide in my bed away from everyone... really dissapointed in myself... haiz... hope that perception changes tmr... now i'm gonna hide away in my "shell" again, and hope nthn's gonna bother me... nite~ and Happy Birthday to the 2 Birthday Girls (Lesley and Wenxin) again!!!